Anyone Else Want to Stay Home with Kids After This?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I want to step back to 40 hrs, no travel, no evening events.dimpler life.

I'm a PP and I think I'm at the point (mid-career, two kids) that I'm okay with mommy tracking. I already don't work especially long hours, but I'm looking for a job outside DC so I can afford a shorter commute as well, which probably means a lateral move or a step down. I'm really loving not leaving for work before the kids wake up.

PP, for what it's worth, I did that after commuting to DC before the sun was up for years and I am SO much happier now!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so happy at home. I have a very well paying job so it is hard to give up. But I am happier, my child is happier and calmer. I am so happy to be home and wondering if anyone else is contemplating quitting after this.

I gave up a 350k salary to stay home. It was a good decision for my child and my family. My husband makes a lot less than I did, but we have a roof over our head, food in the fridge, and my kid is a happy little boy.

What does he make? Why didn't he become a Stay at Home dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I want to step back to 40 hrs, no travel, no evening events.dimpler life.

I'm a PP and I think I'm at the point (mid-career, two kids) that I'm okay with mommy tracking. I already don't work especially long hours, but I'm looking for a job outside DC so I can afford a shorter commute as well, which probably means a lateral move or a step down. I'm really loving not leaving for work before the kids wake up.

PP, for what it's worth, I did that after commuting to DC before the sun was up for years and I am SO much happier now!!!

Yes, I switched from commuting into downtown to staying in Alexandria and I am way happier.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Can’t afford it though 😟

[Anonymous]

I'm debating on going down to 80%. It's nice to have a little extra time with my sweet babies but I don't want to completely give up my career trajectory, I don't have anything in common with the SAHMs in my neighborhood, and frankly I think I'd be bored and lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so happy at home. I have a very well paying job so it is hard to give up. But I am happier, my child is happier and calmer. I am so happy to be home and wondering if anyone else is contemplating quitting after this.

OP here - my kid is 2.5 and I feel like I’ve missed the last 2.5 years. He’s so excited to have me home it feels sad - like he shouldn’t be so excited to have his mom

I think that maybe you're giving him a little extra attention and he likes that. Take this lesson with you when you go back to work! Carve out more "Just Mommy" time.

That’s a good idea but I work really long hours and a few times a week I’m home 9/10 pm. And when I’m home I’m harried. I also travel a lot for work and I feel like it’s a constant battle to keep my head above water. I have a running list of things I want to do with him that never get done and I focus all my energy on play dates and classes on the weekends. But this has given both of us a time to breathe and just be with each other and not be so harried. I’ve started to think “quality time” is a cruel joke (for us).

Maybe the bolded sentence might be some of the problem. Honestly, he doesn't need classes or tons of playdates on the weekend. He needs time with you to just be.. get up, make pancakes wearing pjs, then get dressed, go to the playground, come back for lunch, nap, then time to paint or playdough or be in the backyard. On rainy days, building a fort out of sheets and pillows from the couch.. etc. If you are working, he's in childcare which means he's with other children, he's singing and dancing and painting and everything with other children - it's one long playdate. And if he's with a nanny, then enroll him in a music class or a movement class and then have your nanny take him out and about so he's with other children. But on the weekends, have it be just you most of the time, with perhaps one playdate every other weekend for 2 hours.

That might give you both what you need: connection - which is what you are getting a lot of now and are finding you are missing.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and would like to go back to work when this is over. My kids are school aged and I don't work because of my dh's job. Being home now is really hard and I feel like I am accomplishing nothing except cooking alllllll the freaking time.

[Anonymous]

I quit full time after I had #2 and now I'm due with #4. Please Lord help us and get my older two back to school and then camp. I adore them but with them under foot 24/7 I have no time to do anything. My husband is an MD and is gone 12 hours a day so finding time to grocery shop is very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit full time after I had #2 and now I'm due with #4. Please Lord help us and get my older two back to school and then camp. I adore them but with them under foot 24/7 I have no time to do anything. My husband is an MD and is gone 12 hours a day so finding time to grocery shop is very difficult.

So basically a single parent to 4 kids.

👎🏻

[Anonymous]

No because my kids are in school/preschool and it would be a waste to just sit at home all day by myself.

[Anonymous]

I was not made to do this all day. I love DD but there is such a thing as too much togetherness. I can’t wait to go back to work. I’m also divorced so there’s no one else to take the slack when we’re home together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not made to do this all day. I love DD but there is such a thing as too much togetherness. I can’t wait to go back to work. I’m also divorced so there’s no one else to take the slack when we’re home together

It’s unnatural for kids to be with their parents this much. They should be at school, with friends, at activities.

[Anonymous]

My children are 13, 11 and 9. I’ve always worked but I’ve learned more about their teen and pre-teen worlds the past two weeks and I’d really like to find a way to be much closer to their day to day orbits. They seem to be at peak impressionable ages and that scares me. I’ve talked with my husband about this and he said we can afford whatever I decide. I’ve got a good job that I enjoy but it isn’t a career but if I exit for 8 or so years I may be unemployable. I’m sure I will stay home because who knows what the world will be like in 8 years and my kids are here now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was on K St and I mommy tracked into an easy role (I work 37-40 hrs a week and have 6 weeks off a year and my schedule is fully flex so I can come and go as needed. Work close to home. Travel once a year maybe. I make less than I used to but still clear 6 figures amf get full benefits).

OP here. Wow I wish iI worked where you do. Cannot WFH and no way 6 weeks off it 37 h/wk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:14 -- I quit working a year b4 I had our one and only. As I made more $ the first 15 years of our marriage, that helped DH be ok with me not working. Also my Father gives me $ at Christmas so we laugh about how being my Dad's daughter is my part time job.

DH and I have a solid marriage which is very important to making the SAHM dynamic work. An emotionally abusive husband would definitely make it way more difficult. Sorry, no easy answers to that situation.

Thank you for saying this. I'm a SAHM with an emotionally and financially abusive DH, too. It is so difficult and frustrating and people telling me to just go get a job and leave him really have no clue the hurdles I'd have to jump through to ensure my kids would be alright. And abusive during the marriage, abusive during the divorce. Why are so many men like this??