SAHM: what do you do to protect yourself financially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

You LITERALLY just admitted the trust fund was from Daddy. You may have worked hard, but no harder than lots of folks who will never have the kind of safety net you were handed, let alone the opportunities that safety net provided throughout childhood and university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

You LITERALLY just admitted the trust fund was from Daddy. You may have worked hard, but no harder than lots of folks who will never have the kind of safety net you were handed, let alone the opportunities that safety net provided throughout childhood and university.

Laughing out loud. This was so incredibly tone deaf I almost couldn't believe it. Born on third base and thinks she hit a triple. Unbelievable, "worked our asses off!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

You LITERALLY just admitted the trust fund was from Daddy. You may have worked hard, but no harder than lots of folks who will never have the kind of safety net you were handed, let alone the opportunities that safety net provided throughout childhood and university.

Laughing out loud. This was so incredibly tone deaf I almost couldn't believe it. Born on third base and thinks she hit a triple. Unbelievable, "worked our asses off!"

The thing about people like PP is that everyone they know has the same privileges, so they never even think about them. I'm sure she truly believes she earned every bit of her financial security, and never spent much time thinking about just how far ahead you start if you enter adulthood with no educational debt, help from your down payment, and fully funded trust funds for your eventual kids.

Most of us would be financially secure with that sort of head start, but PP can't see it because it is just de rigeur for her social set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

So she would have been 31 when she decided to stay at home.lies lies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

You LITERALLY just admitted the trust fund was from Daddy. You may have worked hard, but no harder than lots of folks who will never have the kind of safety net you were handed, let alone the opportunities that safety net provided throughout childhood and university.

Laughing out loud. This was so incredibly tone deaf I almost couldn't believe it. Born on third base and thinks she hit a triple. Unbelievable, "worked our asses off!"

+1000. I figured as much with that post.

I suspect the same of most SAHMs who brag here that they “banked their earnings” early on—it’s unlikely they were able to do this without generational wealth. And, most SAHMs don’t have this scenario—they’re totally unaware of their privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

You LITERALLY just admitted the trust fund was from Daddy. You may have worked hard, but no harder than lots of folks who will never have the kind of safety net you were handed, let alone the opportunities that safety net provided throughout childhood and university.

Laughing out loud. This was so incredibly tone deaf I almost couldn't believe it. Born on third base and thinks she hit a triple. Unbelievable, "worked our asses off!"

The thing about people like PP is that everyone they know has the same privileges, so they never even think about them. I'm sure she truly believes she earned every bit of her financial security, and never spent much time thinking about just how far ahead you start if you enter adulthood with no educational debt, help from your down payment, and fully funded trust funds for your eventual kids.

Most of us would be financially secure with that sort of head start, but PP can't see it because it is just de rigeur for her social set.

She also thinks she can waltz back in to the workforce after years and get a “lowball” 100k+ job so yeah, delusional. If your math is that far off that it is obviously questionable (I questioned too when I read it) then yes, of course you will get called out. What’s the point in sharing made up numbers and situations? Most people easily know how long they’ve spent in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

I am better off as a SAHM than a WOHM if I have to divorce. In 25 years of marriage, when all our assets have been earned when we were married, I will not be the one who will be financially ruined.

Furthermore - my kids will not forgive the person who breaks up this family. This means that the divorce will make one person lose all contact with the children too. My DH and I have seen two of our close friends lose everything with the divorce and the kids becoming messed-up. We always had a great marriage (including a great sex life), but after watching other people's shitshow, we are even more thankful of each other and what we have. Smart people learn from the mistakes of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

You are correct my math may be off by a couple years. I did a quick estimate of graduating HS at 17, 4 years undergrad and 2 years grad school making me 23 when I entered the workforce full time but yes, it may be closer to 11 or 12.

So you became a SAHM in like, recent months?

No, 2 years ago. I have one on the way and will want a 3rd quickly as well, hence my example of having a 4, 2 and newborn to keep me plenty busy at home and why when we planned for me to stay home it made the most sense.

You said you have a 4 yr old, 2 year old and newborn. Your story is changing constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

So she would have been 31 when she decided to stay at home.lies lies

I’m not the PP, but have similar numbers.

Right into work from college in 2007
Got a masters while working
SAH when had a kid in 2016
(10 working years, 35 years old)

11-13 working years with a masters at 35 doesn’t sound off to me if she only SAH starting in the last year or two.

[Anonymous]

I think I’d be OK beyond just shared assets a lot of which have come to me via inheritances from my grandfather but did not come in a trust so they are mingled assets at this point. My parents have set up 529’s for our three young children that now are valued in the $130-150,000 range. They have also set up irrevocable trusts for me and my siblings that I’m sure I could access if need be. I’m not sure how much is in the trusts but my Dad did say that it was a very good safety net for me and my children if something ever happened to my husband. I know I’m very lucky to be in this position.

[Anonymous]

Become educated. Marry the right guy. Wait before having kids. Bank all your earnings in your name. No pre-nup. Co-own everything. Keep the romance alive. Be a good wife, mother and nurturer and train your DH to be a good husband, father and provider. Insure heavily. Know your finances and control the money/finances. Make your money work for you. Live below your means.

[Anonymous]

How does one “bank” all of their earnings when they’re... an adult with bills? I lived very lean on my first jobs out of college and tucked away maybe $10k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

You are correct my math may be off by a couple years. I did a quick estimate of graduating HS at 17, 4 years undergrad and 2 years grad school making me 23 when I entered the workforce full time but yes, it may be closer to 11 or 12.

So you became a SAHM in like, recent months?

No, 2 years ago. I have one on the way and will want a 3rd quickly as well, hence my example of having a 4, 2 and newborn to keep me plenty busy at home and why when we planned for me to stay home it made the most sense.

You said you have a 4 yr old, 2 year old and newborn. Your story is changing constantly.

PP here.
As I’ve stated repeatedly, these were general numbers to answer a question on a website. I said ie, newborn, 2 and 4 year old, to illustrate why the choice was to stay home, as I’ve also said in previous posts. That’s a lot of little kids needing a lot of care, and that’s our plan. We are 3/4 of the way there.

I have actually been in the workforce since I was 15 if you are going to be that specific, and I was making $20 per paycheck deposits into an IRA since I was 18, too, to be even more specific.

And yes, I don’t have to save for college so that’s a really great thing. I said nothing about any other money given to me, but it is indeed a huge gift, the gift of education, from my father for my children and I’m grateful.

The rest of the responses are just jealousy, assumptions, and pure conjecture. I answered the question, you don’t have to like the answer or be disappointed a SAHM actually has a plan and will he just fine.

[Anonymous]

I have an MD, residency and fellowship training, and I do occasional work on weekends, so I won’t have a gap in my CV. I can go back to work at any point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Become educated. Marry the right guy. Wait before having kids. Bank all your earnings in your name. No pre-nup. Co-own everything. Keep the romance alive. Be a good wife, mother and nurturer and train your DH to be a good husband, father and provider. Insure heavily. Know your finances and control the money/finances. Make your money work for you. Live below your means.

Train him!?!