SAHM: what do you do to protect yourself financially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

You are correct my math may be off by a couple years. I did a quick estimate of graduating HS at 17, 4 years undergrad and 2 years grad school making me 23 when I entered the workforce full time but yes, it may be closer to 11 or 12.

[Anonymous]

^^ also I roughly estimated my age, I’ll be 36 soon (New Years babies!). Should have known DCUM will catch that!

Honestly, it was just a rough outline answering the question. Of course those are not exact figures, rounded figures, for my assets either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that no one wants to think of a marriage ending but i just saw a post about a SAHM who wants to leave her husband but financially it seems too difficult. If you are a SAHM who is helping advance husband’s career by taking on the brunt of childcare and housework do you have a post nup agreement? Does he put money into a bank account for you that only you can access? Can you live off alimony if you divorce?

Most Wohms make pitiful amounts of money and cannot have the same standard of living if they divorced. If you are working, you also get less alimony.

I WOH and don't consider $165K a year and good benefits to be "pitiful." But whatevs.

I WAH and make $170k. It would be considerably less because my husband makes $400k. But, I have all of the health benefits, etc. We are 21 years in so 1 house is paid off and the other house almost there. That is protection too since there wouldn't be a mortgage and kids (pre-teen, teen) already have maxed out 529s.

My parents ALWAYS said to always have your own form of income. Keep one foot in the door, even if it is part-time. You always need a means to support yourself---and have your own retirement!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that no one wants to think of a marriage ending but i just saw a post about a SAHM who wants to leave her husband but financially it seems too difficult. If you are a SAHM who is helping advance husband’s career by taking on the brunt of childcare and housework do you have a post nup agreement? Does he put money into a bank account for you that only you can access? Can you live off alimony if you divorce?

Most Wohms make pitiful amounts of money and cannot have the same standard of living if they divorced. If you are working, you also get less alimony.

I WOH and don't consider $165K a year and good benefits to be "pitiful." But whatevs.

I WAH and make $170k. It would be considerably less because my husband makes $400k. But, I have all of the health benefits, etc. We are 21 years in so 1 house is paid off and the other house almost there. That is protection too since there wouldn't be a mortgage and kids (pre-teen, teen) already have maxed out 529s.

My parents ALWAYS said to always have your own form of income. Keep one foot in the door, even if it is part-time. You always need a means to support yourself---and have your own retirement!

That will be split upon divorce. Always having income helps you stay afloat at the start of the divorce so that is definitely smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

You are correct my math may be off by a couple years. I did a quick estimate of graduating HS at 17, 4 years undergrad and 2 years grad school making me 23 when I entered the workforce full time but yes, it may be closer to 11 or 12.

So you became a SAHM in like, recent months?

[Anonymous]

I like to point out in this threads about stability and finances that you really don’t know if your husbands health or your health will support a career.
I work in healthcare, so of course I see all the men and women in their 40’s and on with debilitating diseases that make them unable to work (Multiple sclerosis, ALS, Parkinson’s, early onset dementia, stroke, car accidents).
So to me, having 2 working adults is great, but it’s not this magical guarantee. It could be said that it’s just as likely that a working mom will have to support her family on the lesser income, or go full time, as a SAHM taking a few years off to be home with their babies.
If they are alive, and have a chronic progressive disease, there is no life insurance and you are on the hook for medical bills as well.
So for all those crowing over their financial security over a mom that steps out of the workforce for years while the children are young, it’s possible that you too could become the sole breadwinner for your family and lose that big husband income as well.
Life happens, and we make the best choices we can. I’m certainly not going to work through my children’s infant years on the chance we could get divorced just as many of you are not working full time 80 hours per week saving every penny on the chance your husband is in a car accident and paralyzed.
It just is not that simple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How are you 35, worked for 13 years before staying home and have a master's degree? Honest question.

You are correct my math may be off by a couple years. I did a quick estimate of graduating HS at 17, 4 years undergrad and 2 years grad school making me 23 when I entered the workforce full time but yes, it may be closer to 11 or 12.

So you became a SAHM in like, recent months?

No, 2 years ago. I have one on the way and will want a 3rd quickly as well, hence my example of having a 4, 2 and newborn to keep me plenty busy at home and why when we planned for me to stay home it made the most sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

I don’t know why I keep answering at this point, it’s like you’re trying to poke holes in a very normal situation, but here goes:

1. Trust fund is set up by my father. In both children’s names, complete with trustees that will ensure the money goes to pay for higher education if I die.

2. Again, I did basic and generalized math since this is DCUM and not an audit. We have $800k equity in our home. Half of that is $400k. Our total home value is probably 1.2 million. When I was working our HHI was $500k, We were DINKS for a long time and with a large down payment and good real estate market, voila

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I will get half the assets, so $400k from the house, $ 250k from the 401k, and about another $250k from investments, liquid funds, etc. I’m 35 so not too shabby.

2. I will get alimony and child support based on his $350k salary

3. I have Masters degree and worked for 13 years before staying home to have children close together, ie, 4, 2 and newborn. I can get back into the workforce.

4. My children have trust funds and college is fully funded for undergrad and grad school, accruing interest.

5. I don’t need the standard of living I have. Even if I get a job making $100k, with alimony and child support I will be fine.

All of the above is purely to answer the question, I do not plan on divorcing and am happily married.

How do you kids have trust funds if your husband only earns $350k a year? Where do you live where you have such a cheap house?

This is like one of those "how I paid off my debt in three years" articles that magazines like to run. The answer is ALWAYS generational wealth.

PP here. Generational wealth plus working out asses off and saving before we had children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A former BigLaw colleague of mine was the nicest guy in the world until he left his SAH wife and three kids for another woman. The last guy you'd ever expect to do this. His wife ended up getting one-half of his earnings until the kids were grown, with a MINIMUM of 500k a year -- basically making him a slave to big law for at least a dozen more years.

Moral of the story: get a good lawyer.

WHy did he continue to work?
Seriously. Why couldn't he work for a nonprofit or accidentally get fired or something. Do people actually get forced to work post-divorce? In this guy's case, they probably had assets at the time of divorce. Move to Kansas and downsize life.

[Anonymous]

I plan to die young.

If Mother Nature doesn’t cooperate, I’ll help her along.

[Anonymous]

I have a small nest egg plus an inheritance coming my way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A former BigLaw colleague of mine was the nicest guy in the world until he left his SAH wife and three kids for another woman. The last guy you'd ever expect to do this. His wife ended up getting one-half of his earnings until the kids were grown, with a MINIMUM of 500k a year -- basically making him a slave to big law for at least a dozen more years.

Moral of the story: get a good lawyer.

Why did he continue to work?
Seriously. Why couldn't he work for a nonprofit or accidentally get fired or something. Do people actually get forced to work post-divorce? In this guy's case, they probably had assets at the time of divorce. Move to Kansas and downsize life.

Because he signed a legal document agreeing to make the payments. Most likely his wife got the agreement she did because he was desperate to be rid of her. So many men will sign whatever the ex wants just to be rid of them.