Can SAHM & WOHM be friends?

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you see if you can change your work schedule to be available on Tuesday afternoons?

[Anonymous]

How do you know these people are all SAHMs? Or are you just making that assumption?
Maybe they work part time, work odd hours, or work weekends. Maybe they just have very flexible jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anyone can be friends if they just cut the sh*t. Don't buy into the negativity. This is not about SAHMs or WOHMs. this is about a few silly people who you are allowing to define your world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you see if you can change your work schedule to be available on Tuesday afternoons?

Is this a joke?

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and most of my friends are WOHMs or WAHs or retired. I do not intend to become employed once my kids grow up. We are DCUM middle class and most of my friends fall in the same SES.

I choose my friends based on who I like and get along with. Horrible women come in all shades of employment status. All my friends are well educated, good-natured, kindhearted, self-aware, introspective, enlightened and have enough going on in their own lives that they do not have time and energy for petty stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you see if you can change your work schedule to be available on Tuesday afternoons?

Is this a joke?

No. Tons of people have flexible or somewhat flexible work schedules. Many can work additional evening hours or weekend hours and take off one afternoon a week. If playgroup is on Tuesday, and they can’t get together on Saturday, then work on Saturday and take Tuesday off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s easier for adults with different schedules to be friends than it is for children with different schedules. I’m a SAHM who is friends with mostly WOHM friends, but also some SAHMs. When I have a moms’ night out with my friends, I really look forward to kid-free time, adult conversation, getting dressed up, going someplace for dinner that my kids wouldn’t like, staying out late. However, it’s hard to schedule play dates for my kids with WOHMs, because they want weekend play dates and I don’t. If my kids are too young to be in school yet, then I am around my kids 24/7, so on the weekends, dh and I trade off sleeping in, the kids like staying in their pajamas for a while after they get up, and we’ll want to do something as a family. It’s nice to be able to split childcare responsibilities with dh or let the kids have a bit of screen time while I get a break. It’s a dynamic that would be ruined by adding more children to the mix. The last thing I want after parenting solo 24/7 M-F is to have even more children to watch on the weekends. A play date on Tuesday afternoon means my house will be cleaner (I’m more lax about picking up on the weekends), and that’s a day I’m in kid mode all day. I feel like it would be rude of me to accept your invitations for weekend play dates, but then only offer to reciprocate on weekdays, which you can’t accommodate, and I don’t want to host play dates on weekends.

Why does your husband do zero parenting during the week?

[Anonymous]

In theory, yes, but you have to have a lot in common going in. I really only had one SAHM friend for a long time - we were friends from college so we had shared history and a lot of shared interests. (politics, intl affairs, pop culture, music, the arts.) And scheduling can be really tough.

I'm a single mom to boot, so it can make the gulf between me and the married SAHM's seem pretty endless at times.