Police interview re my teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dp. Police might investigate but unless they are pretty sure, there will be no arrest. 30 years ago (my god, it has been that long), I got in a dispute with some neighbors about vandalism there kids were doing. A 10 yo girl accursed me (25 m grad student) of following her to school for several days and peeping. Police started tailing me. She reported it happened again on a day when they know where I was(in my lab at 7:30 am on). No charges. I moved.

You're lucky there was concrete evidence proving she was lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police are not your friends. They do not have your or your child's best interests in mind. You should at least consult an attorney to discuss how to handle questioning and whether the attorney should be present or merely on call.

Of course they are, and yes they do. This is why they are investigating. When a person makes a claim like this - even a might - they want to know about it, for the good of the community.

OP, your daughter has a real responsibility here to tell the truth and nothing more, nothing less. I agree with the PPs who say that the word "might" is a loaded term and carries all sorts of implications. Either it happened or it didn't. She needs to work on this, with the therapist and get to the bottom of it.

No, the police are not friends or interested in what's best for the people they contact. They are interested in being in control and doing their job, which for most of them boils down to categorizing people as (1) victims; (2) perpetrators or accomplices; or (3) witnesses or informants. Police do not investigate objectively to the end and then weigh all the evidence. Rather, they tend to develop a theory early on and once they have done that they switch to proving their theory correct. Their "interview" techniques are designed to elicit confessions, whether the interviewee is guilty or not. They make extensive use of suggestion, they are inexorably manipulative, and they are allowed to lie freely to the person being questioned.

A victim starts out with an advantage, but the second the police begin to intuit that the victim is not being completely candid the tables can turn. The same goes for witnesses. Police do what they do every day and they are very good at it. No one should go into an interaction with them without the advice of an equally competent and experienced lawyer v

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to your DD about this at all? Do you think she is telling the truth? Do you think she thinks she is telling the truth? These things would all affect the advice I would give. Do not ask your DD any questions. Ask the police for a specialist detective to do the interviewing. Tell your DD she should tell the truth and she can stop answering questions absolutely any time she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor can take op to court. I know I would if I were wrongfully accused.

And what exactly do you think will happen in court?

Neighbor can get a judgement against OP's daughter? How much money do you think OP's daughter has?

Doesn't matter. OP will have to pay for lawyers to defend the lawsuit.

And the neighbor would also have to pay for lawyers.

[Anonymous]

As far as you know, is she even able to say who the person is who may have assaulted her? That is, did she report that some neighbor - but she isn't sure who - molested her or that John Smith down the street molested her?

[Anonymous]

It's good that the police are following up on the report. Personally, I would have an attorney present for the interview in order to protect my daughter from inappropriate questioning, insinuations or mistreatment. Reporting rape tends to be part of the trauma of rape, and while I sense that people (including police) are more "woke" now, I would not trust my teenage daughter to be treated fairly by the system. I mean, two words: Jeff Epstein. He literally got the state to declare his victims prostitutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor can take op to court. I know I would if I were wrongfully accused.

And what exactly do you think will happen in court?

Neighbor can get a judgement against OP's daughter? How much money do you think OP's daughter has?

Doesn't matter. OP will have to pay for lawyers to defend the lawsuit.

None of that would go in your pocket though.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about the police but I recently had an experience where a medical professional at a hospital interviewed my kid and I could not believe how poorly it was done. I’ve been trained on interviewing kids who have been through trauma for my job and this person just had no clue. I interrupted her several times to ask better questions, or else it would have been an utter mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would want to discuss this with the therapist

What?!! Lol that's NOT how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police are not your friends. They do not have your or your child's best interests in mind. You should at least consult an attorney to discuss how to handle questioning and whether the attorney should be present or merely on call.

Of course they are, and yes they do. This is why they are investigating. When a person makes a claim like this - even a might - they want to know about it, for the good of the community.

OP, your daughter has a real responsibility here to tell the truth and nothing more, nothing less. I agree with the PPs who say that the word "might" is a loaded term and carries all sorts of implications. Either it happened or it didn't. She needs to work on this, with the therapist and get to the bottom of it.

No, the police are not friends or interested in what's best for the people they contact. They are interested in being in control and doing their job, which for most of them boils down to categorizing people as (1) victims; (2) perpetrators or accomplices; or (3) witnesses or informants. Police do not investigate objectively to the end and then weigh all the evidence. Rather, they tend to develop a theory early on and once they have done that they switch to proving their theory correct. Their "interview" techniques are designed to elicit confessions, whether the interviewee is guilty or not. They make extensive use of suggestion, they are inexorably manipulative, and they are allowed to lie freely to the person being questioned.

A victim starts out with an advantage, but the second the police begin to intuit that the victim is not being completely candid the tables can turn. The same goes for witnesses. Police do what they do every day and they are very good at it. No one should go into an interaction with them without the advice of an equally competent and experienced lawyer v

I would add 4) generating revenue via tickets fines etc and you're absolutely spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dp. Police might investigate but unless they are pretty sure, there will be no arrest. 30 years ago (my god, it has been that long), I got in a dispute with some neighbors about vandalism there kids were doing. A 10 yo girl accursed me (25 m grad student) of following her to school for several days and peeping. Police started tailing me. She reported it happened again on a day when they know where I was(in my lab at 7:30 am on). No charges. I moved.

You're lucky there was concrete evidence proving she was lying.

I am lucky the police did an investigation, and trailed me. They were potentially serious allegations. And this is the point, most police will do an investigation of the alleged crime. Now, I will admit, I am white, and well educated. I can not say if it would have turned out differently had that not been the case.

At the time, I thought it was strange, but retaliation on me calling the police when I saw her brother break into a vacant house.

[Anonymous]

Op here. My child is very truthful. I have not questioned her. We are in va. The guy was about 60 back then.

[Anonymous]

I was molested by my next door neighbor when I was around 9 or 10. I do not remember all of the dates, times, etc...but I remember what he made me do. I have never reported it. I don't know if he would be charged anyway (this would have happened in 1979 or 1980 in NY state). I have no proof. But it happened.

[Anonymous]

I've actually been through police interviews--concerning sexual abuse by an age peer--with my teen in DC. As in OP's case, mandatory reporting was triggered--in our case, by teachers and admin at DD's school.

I came away impressed by the professionalism and care of the police. A detective talked with DD in the presence of her parents and outlined the process for all of us. As a PP has indicated, the interview is just the first step in an investigation. It's not the same thing as actually pressing charges--not by a long shot. There's a lot of discussion before anything gets to that stage, and there are procedural safeguards for both the person reporting and the person named.

[Anonymous]

You should, at least, consult a lawyer to understand your daughter's rights and your own.