Police interview re my teen

[Anonymous]

The therapist is a mandatory reporter. They had to go to police.

The police have to investigate. They dont' have to file charges, but they do need to investigate. Otherwise, people would be mad if police did not investigate reports of crimes.

There is no statute of limitations on _most_ crimes like this in MD, with a few exceptions like a fourth degree sex offense. Here's the list of all of them:
https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions-export.cfm?state=Maryland&group=7

Request an SVID (special victims unit.. that's what they call it in MoCo) detective do the questioning.

My guess is nothing will come out of it since "he said, she said" is difficult to prove, especially 10 years later. However, they'll have that person on file so if they get more reports, that can help in future investigations. If this person really is an abuser, they tend to do it to more than one victim, so your DD"s cooperation can help another potential victim down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are freaking out about lawyering up when the DD was the victim, not the accused. Why would she need to worry about talking to the police?

Because might = / = victim.

I side with the poster who said either you remember or you don't. Our legal system in theory operates on the principle of innocent until proven guilty. And in today's world this is a very serious allegation that the mob often forgets the basic premise of innocent until proven guilty. And repressed memories are little more than crackpot science. I remember my childhood extremely well that instances of uncomfortable incidents are not forgotten.

I also know enough that I never, under any circumstances, ever allow myself to be alone with other people's children because I'm not setting myself up for any future false accusations over misunderstandings or accidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The therapist is a mandatory reporter. They had to go to police.

The police have to investigate. They dont' have to file charges, but they do need to investigate. Otherwise, people would be mad if police did not investigate reports of crimes.

There is no statute of limitations on _most_ crimes like this in MD, with a few exceptions like a fourth degree sex offense. Here's the list of all of them:
https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions-export.cfm?state=Maryland&group=7

Request an SVID (special victims unit.. that's what they call it in MoCo) detective do the questioning.

My guess is nothing will come out of it since "he said, she said" is difficult to prove, especially 10 years later. However, they'll have that person on file so if they get more reports, that can help in future investigations. If this person really is an abuser, they tend to do it to more than one victim, so your DD"s cooperation can help another potential victim down the line.

Thank you! Finally a rational post that doesn't jump to extreme conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is scary that your teen can potentially ruin someone's life. Either she remember or she doesn't. "Might" is a really scary word. I would make my teen write out a statement or tell me what happened before being interviewed by the police. The neighbor might not have even lived there 10 years ago or was never alone with the neighbor. It reminds me if the mcmartin preschool trials.

You have no idea how memory works and I hope to God your own kid never has to suffer for that.

Right?!? JFC. Yeah, the poor, most likely, molester neighbor Yes, please traumatize your kid by making them repeat their story multiple times and also make sure they know you don't believe them! Sounds like a great plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is scary that your teen can potentially ruin someone's life. Either she remember or she doesn't. "Might" is a really scary word. I would make my teen write out a statement or tell me what happened before being interviewed by the police. The neighbor might not have even lived there 10 years ago or was never alone with the neighbor. It reminds me if the mcmartin preschool trials.

You have no idea how memory works and I hope to God your own kid never has to suffer for that.

Yes, this.

I can remember the smell of my rapist and exactly what he was wearing. I can still remember the feeling of him having a hangnail. My description of his face to the sketch artist was nearly perfect. Except guess what? I couldn't remember the color of his eyes or his hair color. Even though my face was inches from his for a good period of time. He was caught so of course now I know those two details, but even when I picture him in my head now, those two details are grey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The therapist is a mandatory reporter. They had to go to police.

The police have to investigate. They dont' have to file charges, but they do need to investigate. Otherwise, people would be mad if police did not investigate reports of crimes.

There is no statute of limitations on _most_ crimes like this in MD, with a few exceptions like a fourth degree sex offense. Here's the list of all of them:
https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions-export.cfm?state=Maryland&group=7

Request an SVID (special victims unit.. that's what they call it in MoCo) detective do the questioning.

My guess is nothing will come out of it since "he said, she said" is difficult to prove, especially 10 years later. However, they'll have that person on file so if they get more reports, that can help in future investigations. If this person really is an abuser, they tend to do it to more than one victim, so your DD"s cooperation can help another potential victim down the line.

Thank you! Finally a rational post that doesn't jump to extreme conclusions.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is scary that your teen can potentially ruin someone's life. Either she remember or she doesn't. "Might" is a really scary word. I would make my teen write out a statement or tell me what happened before being interviewed by the police. The neighbor might not have even lived there 10 years ago or was never alone with the neighbor. It reminds me if the mcmartin preschool trials.

You have no idea how memory works and I hope to God your own kid never has to suffer for that.

Yes, this.

I can remember the smell of my rapist and exactly what he was wearing. I can still remember the feeling of him having a hangnail. My description of his face to the sketch artist was nearly perfect. Except guess what? I couldn't remember the color of his eyes or his hair color. Even though my face was inches from his for a good period of time. He was caught so of course now I know those two details, but even when I picture him in my head now, those two details are grey.

I am so sorry you were raped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The therapist is a mandatory reporter. They had to go to police.

The police have to investigate. They dont' have to file charges, but they do need to investigate. Otherwise, people would be mad if police did not investigate reports of crimes.

There is no statute of limitations on _most_ crimes like this in MD, with a few exceptions like a fourth degree sex offense. Here's the list of all of them:
https://apps.rainn.org/policy/policy-crime-definitions-export.cfm?state=Maryland&group=7

Request an SVID (special victims unit.. that's what they call it in MoCo) detective do the questioning.

My guess is nothing will come out of it since "he said, she said" is difficult to prove, especially 10 years later. However, they'll have that person on file so if they get more reports, that can help in future investigations. If this person really is an abuser, they tend to do it to more than one victim, so your DD"s cooperation can help another potential victim down the line.

This, and your child does not need a lawyer but do make sure you have the special victims detective!

[Anonymous]

Personally I would want to discuss this with the therapist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is scary that your teen can potentially ruin someone's life. Either she remember or she doesn't. "Might" is a really scary word. I would make my teen write out a statement or tell me what happened before being interviewed by the police. The neighbor might not have even lived there 10 years ago or was never alone with the neighbor. It reminds me if the mcmartin preschool trials.

The parents in those trials grilled their kids and then took them to the police.

Your advice is the WORST THING op could do. She should not ask her dd about any details or ask her to write about it. You need someone trained in this area talking to your kid, not a parent. Parents are the ones who don't know how to question their kid without screwing it up.

Do NOT interrogate your kid, OP!

This^ Only trained professionals should be questioning the child. OP’s job is to love, protect and support her child. It’s appalling that so many of you are expressing sympathy for the neighbor without knowing anything about the people involved. Of course a false accusation would be absolutely horrible, but so is making a victim reluctant to come forward because she doesn’t have an slam dunk case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are freaking out about lawyering up when the DD was the victim, not the accused. Why would she need to worry about talking to the police?

Because might = / = victim.

I side with the poster who said either you remember or you don't. Our legal system in theory operates on the principle of innocent until proven guilty. And in today's world this is a very serious allegation that the mob often forgets the basic premise of innocent until proven guilty. And repressed memories are little more than crackpot science. I remember my childhood extremely well that instances of uncomfortable incidents are not forgotten.

I also know enough that I never, under any circumstances, ever allow myself to be alone with other people's children because I'm not setting myself up for any future false accusations over misunderstandings or accidents.

No, you remember stories that you have told yourself repeatedly about your childhood. Research has shown over and over and over that this is how human memory works. Everyone "remembers" stuff that didn't happen and doesn't remember things that did happen.

Also, many people who have experienced traumatic events or experienced a variety of mental illnesses (e.g. PTSD) don't have memories of key events. I suffered some abuse as a little kid, and this is definitely the case for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are freaking out about lawyering up when the DD was the victim, not the accused. Why would she need to worry about talking to the police?

Because might = / = victim.

I side with the poster who said either you remember or you don't. Our legal system in theory operates on the principle of innocent until proven guilty. And in today's world this is a very serious allegation that the mob often forgets the basic premise of innocent until proven guilty. And repressed memories are little more than crackpot science. I remember my childhood extremely well that instances of uncomfortable incidents are not forgotten.

I also know enough that I never, under any circumstances, ever allow myself to be alone with other people's children because I'm not setting myself up for any future false accusations over misunderstandings or accidents.

No, you remember stories that you have told yourself repeatedly about your childhood. Research has shown over and over and over that this is how human memory works. Everyone "remembers" stuff that didn't happen and doesn't remember things that did happen.

Also, many people who have experienced traumatic events or experienced a variety of mental illnesses (e.g. PTSD) don't have memories of key events. I suffered some abuse as a little kid, and this is definitely the case for me.

Many of the "research" supporting repressed memories have been thoroughly debunked. So much "repressed" memories turned out to be false or so seriously compromised. You are choosing what you want to believe in rather than being pragmatic about it.

[Anonymous]

OP's kid might have been in some crime too, or know of some his family has committed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are freaking out about lawyering up when the DD was the victim, not the accused. Why would she need to worry about talking to the police?

Because might = / = victim.

I side with the poster who said either you remember or you don't. Our legal system in theory operates on the principle of innocent until proven guilty. And in today's world this is a very serious allegation that the mob often forgets the basic premise of innocent until proven guilty. And repressed memories are little more than crackpot science. I remember my childhood extremely well that instances of uncomfortable incidents are not forgotten.

I also know enough that I never, under any circumstances, ever allow myself to be alone with other people's children because I'm not setting myself up for any future false accusations over misunderstandings or accidents.

No, you remember stories that you have told yourself repeatedly about your childhood. Research has shown over and over and over that this is how human memory works. Everyone "remembers" stuff that didn't happen and doesn't remember things that did happen.

Also, many people who have experienced traumatic events or experienced a variety of mental illnesses (e.g. PTSD) don't have memories of key events. I suffered some abuse as a little kid, and this is definitely the case for me.

Many of the "research" supporting repressed memories have been thoroughly debunked. So much "repressed" memories turned out to be false or so seriously compromised. You are choosing what you want to believe in rather than being pragmatic about it.

Who has said anything about “repressed” memories...except for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neighbor can take op to court. I know I would if I were wrongfully accused.

And what exactly do you think will happen in court?

Neighbor can get a judgement against OP's daughter? How much money do you think OP's daughter has?