Would you wear makeup if your husband wanted you to?

[Anonymous]

what kind of stupid question is this? We don't live in a society or culture where arranged marriage is the norm. Presumably, you both know your husband and he knows you before marriage.

In what scenario would your partner, whom you chose and knew you before marriage, would suddenly request you wear make up if you have never before been the kind of woman who wears makeup?

This is such a stupid, baiting question, I have to wonder about the person who asked it. ARe you a teenager or something? Do you have any idea how adult relationships work?

[Anonymous]

My husband loves me in sheer tights, high heels, skirts and dresses; I used to dress like that five days a week but my work changed and I know he misses it, so now I dress up for him a few times a month. Men are pretty simple sometimes and we may not understand how visual they are so I really don’t see the harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ladies never bought your man a tie, hair product, said you like him shaved or with a beard or whatever? I love DH no matter how he chooses to present himself, but if I literally never wore makeup and he found the balls to gently request it, I'd probably try to have some fun with it. I mean, to be honest, if you go to fancy events with him with zero makeup on, you will look out of place. If you hate it, fine, don't do it. But I guarantee you, youi'll look and feel fantastic if you use it sparingly on special occasions.

I’ve been to many fancy events in this area with a bare face and never felt out of place. Put on a formal gown, heels, and jewelry. Have a great hairstyle. Who is scrutinizing your face for foundation? A Mary Kay saleswoman? More likely, a w

[Anonymous]

Sorry, hit submit by accident.

If someone notices and criticizes that you aren’t wearing makeup to a formal event, it is likely a woman self-conscious about her own appearance.

I’m AA, 48, and have great skin. No wrinkles or blemishes. I want to show that skin off, not bury it under makeup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t wear makeup. I will wear lipstick for something fancy. My mother does not wear makeup, my father always hated makeup - on me or my mom. I never learned to do it and don’t know how. If my DH asked me to, I’d have to go through a lot of make up counters and a lot of trial and error to find something I thought looked good and that I could do with some regularity. But it would be weird for him to ask because he’s known me for 17 years and I’ve never worn makeup. I’d consider it and probably make some effort to try it out but if I didn’t like it I would stop.

OP here, that's the same thing with me. I wore light makeup on my wedding day, but someone did it for me because I didn't have a clue. My DH has known me for 11 years so it came out of nowhere. He even bought me makeup as birthday gift yesterday which is how this conversation about makeup came about.

OK, so this is more information that we need.

OP, I would take this as a compliment. Why don't you go to a store and ask for a makeup lesson? You can have some fun with this.

I don’t understand how this is a compliment?

Because her husband loves her. He remembers their fun/ sexy/ carefree life from when they married 11 years ago and he wants that back. He sees her as desirable and wants her to see herself that way too. He wants her to care about herself and him and their marriage and put some effort into it.

At least, that's how I would interpret it. Or, you can get all bitchy and decide that he's being mean and passive aggressive and start an argument about it.

This response above wins the thread so far - talk about the ways in which our culture tries to convince women that black is white!!! PP suggests that OP can either believe DH is complimenting her (when he is obviously not) or she is a bitch.

Look, each woman gets to decide about her appearance - hair, makeup, clothes, and body. No one woman, married or single, owes it to the man in her life to change any of those aspects just for someone else (not boss, not lovers). Women would like to be accepted for who the are naturally and authentically instead of being forced into the box of gendered expectations.

I am a woman. When I was younger I used to wear full face makeup every day because I thought it was professional. Now that I am older, I can see that attracted a certain kind of man who had certain perceptions of how women should look that also went hand in hand with how women should behave and what kind of work they should do at home and in the workplace. Now that I am older, I can also see that makeup is/should not be a part of my “professional” life in the sense that I would like to be judged on the merits of my work alone.

Makeup takes a lot of money and effort. I have to buy multiple products for even a “light” look. I have to invest effort in shopping for it, keeping up with trends so it doesn’t look dated and applying it and taking it off each evening and re-checking it during the day. Since it’s a daily thing, even a small amount of time spent on this each day adds up. Plus, it’s time spent on top of a lot of other daily activities related to grooming that I do engage in because *I* want to - shaving, dying my greying hair, engaging in a facial cleansing and moisturizing/sunscreen routine, exercise, etc.

I’m really too busy, makeup is too boring and too much of a financial and time suck for me to engage in it. I’d rather spend that time in a way that is more productive and intellectually stimulating for me.

And if your argument to the above is that no man will find me attractive and I’ll end up alone with the cats - well both “fine” and “that’s ridiculous” to you.

OP, sorry your husband is policing your appearance - that sucks, even when it’s done in a “loving” way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the PP who thinks that he has an AP who wears makeup and he’s trying to get his wife to be more like her. Unfortunately I’ve also seen it before.

It’s also a good cover if OP finds a little makeup on his shirt or skin. “Oh, honey, don’t you remember smooching me there? Look it’s the same shade as that stuff I bought you.”

I know women whose DH suddenly started buying perfume and certain types of panties. Came to find out that it was type his mistress wore. He was preparing an alibi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t wear makeup. I will wear lipstick for something fancy. My mother does not wear makeup, my father always hated makeup - on me or my mom. I never learned to do it and don’t know how. If my DH asked me to, I’d have to go through a lot of make up counters and a lot of trial and error to find something I thought looked good and that I could do with some regularity. But it would be weird for him to ask because he’s known me for 17 years and I’ve never worn makeup. I’d consider it and probably make some effort to try it out but if I didn’t like it I would stop.

OP here, that's the same thing with me. I wore light makeup on my wedding day, but someone did it for me because I didn't have a clue. My DH has known me for 11 years so it came out of nowhere. He even bought me makeup as birthday gift yesterday which is how this conversation about makeup came about.

Classic. A higher maintenance woman has turned his head, and he’s wanting you to step it up.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why this needs to be complicated. Every single woman of every age looks better with makeup. It doesn't have to be some multi product endeavor with YouTube tutorials. Get a concealor for spot treatment here and there if needed, groom your brows and fill in a bit if they are sparse, add a swipe of lipstick or a stain and mascara.
This is stupid simple and makes every woman look a million times better. It is so simple and easy to do that NOT doing it says you DGAF about your looks. Which is fine for a stranger but I would want my spouse to care about how they look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the PP who thinks that he has an AP who wears makeup and he’s trying to get his wife to be more like her. Unfortunately I’ve also seen it before.

It’s also a good cover if OP finds a little makeup on his shirt or skin. “Oh, honey, don’t you remember smooching me there? Look it’s the same shade as that stuff I bought you.”

I know women whose DH suddenly started buying perfume and certain types of panties. Came to find out that it was type his mistress wore. He was preparing an alibi.

This is so sneaky!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband loves me in sheer tights, high heels, skirts and dresses; I used to dress like that five days a week but my work changed and I know he misses it, so now I dress up for him a few times a month. Men are pretty simple sometimes and we may not understand how visual they are so I really don’t see the harm.

Well, the high heels can damage your feet for one .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why this needs to be complicated. Every single woman of every age looks better with makeup. It doesn't have to be some multi product endeavor with YouTube tutorials. Get a concealor for spot treatment here and there if needed, groom your brows and fill in a bit if they are sparse, add a swipe of lipstick or a stain and mascara.
This is stupid simple and makes every woman look a million times better. It is so simple and easy to do that NOT doing it says you DGAF about your looks. Which is fine for a stranger but I would want my spouse to care about how they look.

dp The point is why should women be expected to "look better" for society? Why do women have to be pretty for everyone else? This is why strange men tell women to smile and why I refuse to play the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This question is more so for those that don't wear makeup at all.

No way... I have never worn make-up besides a wedding. I would not take the time because he wants me to. Love me like this.

[Anonymous]

I don't wear make-up but if it was something my husband said he liked then I would keep that in mind. I wouldn't start wearing it everyday but I would wear it for day nights or special events or the occasional evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why this needs to be complicated. Every single woman of every age looks better with makeup. It doesn't have to be some multi product endeavor with YouTube tutorials. Get a concealor for spot treatment here and there if needed, groom your brows and fill in a bit if they are sparse, add a swipe of lipstick or a stain and mascara.
This is stupid simple and makes every woman look a million times better. It is so simple and easy to do that NOT doing it says you DGAF about your looks. Which is fine for a stranger but I would want my spouse to care about how they look.

You recognize that this is your personal opinion, which you have universalized to all women in order to impose your judgment about how women should spend their time without respect to any other goals or desires they might have in their life?

#misogynyinternalized

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously how are there women who don’t wear makeup?! And don’t give me the “natural beauty” crap. Everyone looks a gazillion times prettier with well applied makeup.

Are you a man or a woman? First, i am not here on this earth to look good for you. Second, makeip is tested pn animals whic i do not approve. Third i find it sexist.

So you go pound sand. Never going to wear make up. UTC

Sounds like your outside matches your inside then

At least I am not you.

No, you aren't. I am pleasant and attractive. You seem to not be either of those things, and in fact, come across as quite ugly in spirit and face.

You aren't really being pleasant right now are you? I don't have to prove anything to you. I like my life, I have a great family and friends. You on the other hand keep the insults flying! Tells me more and more about you and it ain't pretty inside or out.