Reply to Would you wear makeup if your husband wanted you to?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t wear makeup.  I will wear lipstick for something fancy.  My mother does not wear makeup, my father always hated makeup - on me or my mom. [b] I never learned to do it and don’t know how.  [/b]If my DH asked me to, I’d have to go through a lot of make up counters and a lot of trial and error to find something I thought looked good and that I could do with some regularity.  But it would be weird for him to ask because he’s known me for 17 years and I’ve never worn makeup.  I’d consider it and probably make some effort to try it out but if I didn’t like it I would stop.[/quote]

OP here, that's the same thing with me. I wore light makeup on my wedding day, but someone did it for me because I didn't have a clue. My DH has known me for 11 years so it came out of nowhere. He even bought me makeup as birthday gift yesterday which is how this conversation about makeup came about.[/quote]

OK, so this is more information that we need.

[b]OP, I would take this as a compliment. [/b]Why don't you go to a store and ask for a makeup lesson? You can have some fun with this.[/quote]

I don’t understand how this is a compliment?[/quote]

Because her husband loves her. He remembers their fun/ sexy/ carefree life from when they married 11 years ago and he wants that back. He sees her as desirable and wants her to see herself that way too. He wants her to care about herself and him and their marriage and put some effort into it.

At least, that's how I would interpret it. Or, you can get all bitchy and decide that he's being mean and passive aggressive and start an argument about it.  [/quote]

This response above wins the thread so far - talk about the ways in which our culture tries to convince women that black is white!!! PP suggests that OP can either believe DH is complimenting her (when he is obviously not) or she is a bitch.

Look, each woman gets to decide about her appearance - hair, makeup, clothes, and body. No one woman, married or single, owes it to the man in her life to change any of those aspects just for someone else (not boss, not lovers). Women would like to be accepted for who the are naturally and authentically instead of being forced into the box of gendered expectations.

I am a woman.  When I was younger I used to wear full face makeup every day because I thought it was professional. Now that I am older, I can see that attracted a certain kind of man who had certain perceptions of how women should look that also went hand in hand with how women should behave and what kind of work they should do at home and in the workplace.  Now that I am older, I can also see that makeup is/should not be a part of my “professional” life in the sense that I would like to be judged on the merits of my work alone.

Makeup takes a lot of money and effort.  I have to buy multiple products for even a “light” look. I have to invest effort in shopping for it, keeping up with trends so it doesn’t look dated and applying it and taking it off each evening and re-checking it during the day.  Since it’s a daily thing, even a small amount of time spent on this each day adds up.  Plus, it’s time spent on top of a lot of other daily activities related to grooming that I do engage in because *I* want to - shaving, dying my greying hair, engaging in a facial cleansing and moisturizing/sunscreen routine, exercise, etc.

I’m really too busy, makeup is too boring and too much of a financial and time suck for me to engage in it.  I’d rather spend that time in a way that is more productive and intellectually stimulating for me.

And if your argument to the above is that no man will find me attractive and I’ll end up alone with the cats - well both “fine” and “that’s ridiculous” to you.

OP, sorry your husband is policing your appearance - that sucks, even when it’s done in a “loving” way.

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