Soccer tournament- mostly on bench

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I would be furious. How much have you
paid the league to be on this team?

We aren’t in DC so costs area probably different. $500 to join after being selected, almost $1000 for uniforms, $200/month.

That's highway robbery. You're being played.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP,

I'm a travel coach in the area, and just stumbled across this forum and thread and felt the need to give my viewpoint as a coach.

1.) Me personally, I wouldn't recommend confronting a coach right after the game. What I find is coaches tend to be defensive, especially after a loss, and emotions can be high on both sides, especially when dealing with a parent who has a crying/upset child. I usually allow myself, both as a parent (I have kids that play travel also, on another team) and as a coach some time to formulate my response.

2.) Coaches make mistakes. I've seen coaches play with the wrong number of players for a good deal of time (can't say a whole half, but certainly more than a few minutes!). This is especially prevalent at younger ages where players often mishear, or forget to get on (or off) the field. Having made this mistake myself once (albeit briefly) it's why I make my subs use pennies now, even at the older ages. My guess is the coach didn't have a good answer for his mistake so he made up some BS out of embarrassment. If he was truly trying to win there is no way he'd knowingly play with a man down. So my guess is this was truly a (bad) mistake.

3.) Not showing up doesn't send the right message. You've now created a greater wedge between yourself and the team/coach. Make the onus be on the coach to play your son, not showing up should rarely be used as a response.

4.) I've known more than a few jerk coaches in my time (over 10 years coaching) and I can tell you that almost none of them send out email apologies for their behavior. I'm not saying your coach isn't a jerk - but it sounds like he's one that is at least willing to admit he was wrong and have a conversation.

5.) I'm sorry your son now hates his coach. If he was berated directly by the coach for this loss, 1.) That makes no sense since he didn't play the second half, that's the coach's fault, not your sons. 2.) If this is a one off, I've seen players opinions change fairly quickly at young ages for better or for worse - it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you (and/or the coach) doesn't make it so. Highly recommend having a talk with the coach and your son about what happened in a private setting.

I hope everything worked out. Youth sports is unfortunately filled with too much drama. I wish you and your son the best.

[Anonymous]

Would be interested to see how the coach responded to your email about missing the game and then not showing up.....or is this possibly something that wasn't even addressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP,

I'm a travel coach in the area, and just stumbled across this forum and thread and felt the need to give my viewpoint as a coach.

1.) Me personally, I wouldn't recommend confronting a coach right after the game. What I find is coaches tend to be defensive, especially after a loss, and emotions can be high on both sides, especially when dealing with a parent who has a crying/upset child. I usually allow myself, both as a parent (I have kids that play travel also, on another team) and as a coach some time to formulate my response.

2.) Coaches make mistakes. I've seen coaches play with the wrong number of players for a good deal of time (can't say a whole half, but certainly more than a few minutes!). This is especially prevalent at younger ages where players often mishear, or forget to get on (or off) the field. Having made this mistake myself once (albeit briefly) it's why I make my subs use pennies now, even at the older ages. My guess is the coach didn't have a good answer for his mistake so he made up some BS out of embarrassment. If he was truly trying to win there is no way he'd knowingly play with a man down. So my guess is this was truly a (bad) mistake.

3.) Not showing up doesn't send the right message. You've now created a greater wedge between yourself and the team/coach. Make the onus be on the coach to play your son, not showing up should rarely be used as a response.

4.) I've known more than a few jerk coaches in my time (over 10 years coaching) and I can tell you that almost none of them send out email apologies for their behavior. I'm not saying your coach isn't a jerk - but it sounds like he's one that is at least willing to admit he was wrong and have a conversation.

5.) I'm sorry your son now hates his coach. If he was berated directly by the coach for this loss, 1.) That makes no sense since he didn't play the second half, that's the coach's fault, not your sons. 2.) If this is a one off, I've seen players opinions change fairly quickly at young ages for better or for worse - it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you (and/or the coach) doesn't make it so. Highly recommend having a talk with the coach and your son about what happened in a private setting.

I hope everything worked out. Youth sports is unfortunately filled with too much drama. I wish you and your son the best.

As a parent with multiple kids in soccer, whose kids faced some challenges with coaches at times in the past, I think that this is a very good advice. Regardless of whether you decide to move to a different club/team or stay, you should motivate your son to have positive attitude, work harder and give 100 percent in every practice and game. If a player feels disrespected by his coach, it could undermine his confidence or it could become a great motivator to work harder and prove the coach wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP,

I'm a travel coach in the area, and just stumbled across this forum and thread and felt the need to give my viewpoint as a coach.

1.) Me personally, I wouldn't recommend confronting a coach right after the game. What I find is coaches tend to be defensive, especially after a loss, and emotions can be high on both sides, especially when dealing with a parent who has a crying/upset child. I usually allow myself, both as a parent (I have kids that play travel also, on another team) and as a coach some time to formulate my response.

2.) Coaches make mistakes. I've seen coaches play with the wrong number of players for a good deal of time (can't say a whole half, but certainly more than a few minutes!). This is especially prevalent at younger ages where players often mishear, or forget to get on (or off) the field. Having made this mistake myself once (albeit briefly) it's why I make my subs use pennies now, even at the older ages. My guess is the coach didn't have a good answer for his mistake so he made up some BS out of embarrassment. If he was truly trying to win there is no way he'd knowingly play with a man down. So my guess is this was truly a (bad) mistake.

3.) Not showing up doesn't send the right message. You've now created a greater wedge between yourself and the team/coach. Make the onus be on the coach to play your son, not showing up should rarely be used as a response.

4.) I've known more than a few jerk coaches in my time (over 10 years coaching) and I can tell you that almost none of them send out email apologies for their behavior. I'm not saying your coach isn't a jerk - but it sounds like he's one that is at least willing to admit he was wrong and have a conversation.

5.) I'm sorry your son now hates his coach. If he was berated directly by the coach for this loss, 1.) That makes no sense since he didn't play the second half, that's the coach's fault, not your sons. 2.) If this is a one off, I've seen players opinions change fairly quickly at young ages for better or for worse - it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you (and/or the coach) doesn't make it so. Highly recommend having a talk with the coach and your son about what happened in a private setting.

I hope everything worked out. Youth sports is unfortunately filled with too much drama. I wish you and your son the best.

As a parent with multiple kids in soccer, whose kids faced some challenges with coaches at times in the past, I think that this is a very good advice. Regardless of whether you decide to move to a different club/team or stay, you should motivate your son to have positive attitude, work harder and give 100 percent in every practice and game. If a player feels disrespected by his coach, it could undermine his confidence or it could become a great motivator to work harder and prove the coach wrong.

What ever happened to bloom where you are planted? You are on the team - make the best of it and if it's not working, there are logical times in the season (May/June) to explore other options. Walking away midseason is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP,

I'm a travel coach in the area, and just stumbled across this forum and thread and felt the need to give my viewpoint as a coach.

1.) Me personally, I wouldn't recommend confronting a coach right after the game. What I find is coaches tend to be defensive, especially after a loss, and emotions can be high on both sides, especially when dealing with a parent who has a crying/upset child. I usually allow myself, both as a parent (I have kids that play travel also, on another team) and as a coach some time to formulate my response.

2.) Coaches make mistakes. I've seen coaches play with the wrong number of players for a good deal of time (can't say a whole half, but certainly more than a few minutes!). This is especially prevalent at younger ages where players often mishear, or forget to get on (or off) the field. Having made this mistake myself once (albeit briefly) it's why I make my subs use pennies now, even at the older ages. My guess is the coach didn't have a good answer for his mistake so he made up some BS out of embarrassment. If he was truly trying to win there is no way he'd knowingly play with a man down. So my guess is this was truly a (bad) mistake.

3.) Not showing up doesn't send the right message. You've now created a greater wedge between yourself and the team/coach. Make the onus be on the coach to play your son, not showing up should rarely be used as a response.

4.) I've known more than a few jerk coaches in my time (over 10 years coaching) and I can tell you that almost none of them send out email apologies for their behavior. I'm not saying your coach isn't a jerk - but it sounds like he's one that is at least willing to admit he was wrong and have a conversation.

5.) I'm sorry your son now hates his coach. If he was berated directly by the coach for this loss, 1.) That makes no sense since he didn't play the second half, that's the coach's fault, not your sons. 2.) If this is a one off, I've seen players opinions change fairly quickly at young ages for better or for worse - it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you (and/or the coach) doesn't make it so. Highly recommend having a talk with the coach and your son about what happened in a private setting.

I hope everything worked out. Youth sports is unfortunately filled with too much drama. I wish you and your son the best.

As a parent with multiple kids in soccer, whose kids faced some challenges with coaches at times in the past, I think that this is a very good advice. Regardless of whether you decide to move to a different club/team or stay, you should motivate your son to have positive attitude, work harder and give 100 percent in every practice and game. If a player feels disrespected by his coach, it could undermine his confidence or it could become a great motivator to work harder and prove the coach wrong.

What ever happened to bloom where you are planted? You are on the team - make the best of it and if it's not working, there are logical times in the season (May/June) to explore other options. Walking away midseason is a bad idea.

What happened? Well there are so many bait and switch operations out there that you need to be ready to walk at any given moment. I understand that if you signed up and the coach and club are keeping their promises and your kid is under performing and losing some playing time, etc etc. Stay and fight, but so many clubs switch a coach on you, don't live up to their promises of training, etc that people don't have time to put up with their nonsense. Maybe one of the reasons clubs/coaches treat players, etc so poorly is because of this grow where you are planted philosophy. All I know is, if the club isn't holding up their end of the bargain or not dealing with team issues (bullying, coach being a deuche), I'm taking my kid elsewhere...tomorrow! There's plenty of places willing to take my money.

[Anonymous]

We pulled our kid mid season after a coach issue. The coach demanded something inconsistent with medical advice and I called him on that.

Ten seconds after my husband and I realized we weren’t comfortable leaving the kid at practice due to the likely retaliation, we pulled him.

It happens.

OP, I understand the draw of travel sports, but so much of it is crazy and it is really hard not to lose your way and become crazy, too. So many fun experiences never happened because we were in Midlothian or Hershey, or Boyd’s, or wherever. I regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pulled our kid mid season after a coach issue. The coach demanded something inconsistent with medical advice and I called him on that.

Ten seconds after my husband and I realized we weren’t comfortable leaving the kid at practice due to the likely retaliation, we pulled him.

It happens.

OP, I understand the draw of travel sports, but so much of it is crazy and it is really hard not to lose your way and become crazy, too. So many fun experiences never happened because we were in Midlothian or Hershey, or Boyd’s, or wherever. I regret it.

Forgot to write that after we pulled the kid, he played many more years for another club. It was better, but still nuts. At least the coaches were t abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP,

I'm a travel coach in the area, and just stumbled across this forum and thread and felt the need to give my viewpoint as a coach.

1.) Me personally, I wouldn't recommend confronting a coach right after the game. What I find is coaches tend to be defensive, especially after a loss, and emotions can be high on both sides, especially when dealing with a parent who has a crying/upset child. I usually allow myself, both as a parent (I have kids that play travel also, on another team) and as a coach some time to formulate my response.

2.) Coaches make mistakes. I've seen coaches play with the wrong number of players for a good deal of time (can't say a whole half, but certainly more than a few minutes!). This is especially prevalent at younger ages where players often mishear, or forget to get on (or off) the field. Having made this mistake myself once (albeit briefly) it's why I make my subs use pennies now, even at the older ages. My guess is the coach didn't have a good answer for his mistake so he made up some BS out of embarrassment. If he was truly trying to win there is no way he'd knowingly play with a man down. So my guess is this was truly a (bad) mistake.

3.) Not showing up doesn't send the right message. You've now created a greater wedge between yourself and the team/coach. Make the onus be on the coach to play your son, not showing up should rarely be used as a response.

4.) I've known more than a few jerk coaches in my time (over 10 years coaching) and I can tell you that almost none of them send out email apologies for their behavior. I'm not saying your coach isn't a jerk - but it sounds like he's one that is at least willing to admit he was wrong and have a conversation.

5.) I'm sorry your son now hates his coach. If he was berated directly by the coach for this loss, 1.) That makes no sense since he didn't play the second half, that's the coach's fault, not your sons. 2.) If this is a one off, I've seen players opinions change fairly quickly at young ages for better or for worse - it doesn't have to be the end of the world if you (and/or the coach) doesn't make it so. Highly recommend having a talk with the coach and your son about what happened in a private setting.

I hope everything worked out. Youth sports is unfortunately filled with too much drama. I wish you and your son the best.

As a parent with multiple kids in soccer, whose kids faced some challenges with coaches at times in the past, I think that this is a very good advice. Regardless of whether you decide to move to a different club/team or stay, you should motivate your son to have positive attitude, work harder and give 100 percent in every practice and game. If a player feels disrespected by his coach, it could undermine his confidence or it could become a great motivator to work harder and prove the coach wrong.

What ever happened to bloom where you are planted? You are on the team - make the best of it and if it's not working, there are logical times in the season (May/June) to explore other options. Walking away midseason is a bad idea.

95% of the time I agree. It's about teaching commitment to one's obligations, even when it didn't work out. If it becomes verbally abusive, I would pull a player because travel is a year long commitment. I don't think any team is worth a player's self worth. I realize that's a slippery slope but there are cases where a coach goes too far.

[Anonymous]

Coaches are human and make mistakes, however they are the adults and need to admit when they make a mistake. Blaming a 10 year old for his inability to effectively communicate and count players is cowardly. If your kid wants to practice and play then he should. If not, then he should resign from the team and play somewhere else, but if possible talk to the coach’s boss (if he has one) first and explain the situation. Maybe he/she can help.