Soccer tournament- mostly on bench

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The coach is terrible on many levels. You should complain to the club, and maybe find a new team for the Spring season.

But as for skipping the 2nd day of the tournament, you have to ask yourself this question: what lessons do you want your son to learn from this experience?

My husband thinks it’s important to show our son we have his best interests in mind and support and believe in him. I agree .

Different poster here: But didn’t you show that by advocating for him in your follow-up conversations with the coach? And don’t you “show” that by telling your son “I believe you.”
What does not going today show exactly? What does it accomplish? How is your son made better by not showing up today?
(I’m asking honestly. There’s no judgment in my questions. This is a really tough situation because there are several layers of emotion here. I’m not sure what I’d do, but I know I’d be asking myself these questions.)

He won’t have to spend half the day in the car and sitting in the cold. It’s his weekend and has school tomorrow.

This is exactly what my wife would do. But this could be a situation where you can use to motivate your son. Ask him how it felt like being on the bench? No good right? Then encourage him to practice harder so that he will never have to be in this situation again. People say it’s better to “Get Even rather than Get Mad” so make the coach regret that he overlooked your son.

My son is one of the top three players on the team, and typically plays most of the game. It’s just the coach had elite players in his normal position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The coach is terrible on many levels. You should complain to the club, and maybe find a new team for the Spring season.

But as for skipping the 2nd day of the tournament, you have to ask yourself this question: what lessons do you want your son to learn from this experience?

My husband thinks it’s important to show our son we have his best interests in mind and support and believe in him. I agree .

Different poster here: But didn’t you show that by advocating for him in your follow-up conversations with the coach? And don’t you “show” that by telling your son “I believe you.”
What does not going today show exactly? What does it accomplish? How is your son made better by not showing up today?
(I’m asking honestly. There’s no judgment in my questions. This is a really tough situation because there are several layers of emotion here. I’m not sure what I’d do, but I know I’d be asking myself these questions.)

He won’t have to spend half the day in the car and sitting in the cold. It’s his weekend and has school tomorrow.

That’s what happened yesterday. I think that if you had some assurances that he would play a decent amount today, you’d go. Call the coach. See what he says his plan is for ensuring player time. You’ll get a sense if he is truly remorseful about what happened yesterday.

I don’t have his phone number - messaging is through an app. But I’m more of the “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” mentality.
I just sent him an email and said we won’t make it today based on yesterday. He isn’t going to stop playing the elite players mid tournament - it would be foolish for me to think he would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The coach is terrible on many levels. You should complain to the club, and maybe find a new team for the Spring season.

But as for skipping the 2nd day of the tournament, you have to ask yourself this question: what lessons do you want your son to learn from this experience?

My husband thinks it’s important to show our son we have his best interests in mind and support and believe in him. I agree .

Different poster here: But didn’t you show that by advocating for him in your follow-up conversations with the coach? And don’t you “show” that by telling your son “I believe you.”
What does not going today show exactly? What does it accomplish? How is your son made better by not showing up today?
(I’m asking honestly. There’s no judgment in my questions. This is a really tough situation because there are several layers of emotion here. I’m not sure what I’d do, but I know I’d be asking myself these questions.)

He won’t have to spend half the day in the car and sitting in the cold. It’s his weekend and has school tomorrow.

This is exactly what my wife would do. But this could be a situation where you can use to motivate your son. Ask him how it felt like being on the bench? No good right? Then encourage him to practice harder so that he will never have to be in this situation again. People say it’s better to “Get Even rather than Get Mad” so make the coach regret that he overlooked your son.

My son is one of the top three players on the team, and typically plays most of the game. It’s just the coach had elite players in his normal position.

You really need to rethink a team sport. Maybe something based on individual performance would be better for your family?

[Anonymous]

Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow! I would be furious. How much have you
paid the league to be on this team?

We aren’t in DC so costs area probably different. $500 to join after being selected, almost $1000 for uniforms, $200/month.

For a 10 year old? This is ridiculous. So glad we did not go the travel route with ds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

You should email the coach to call you. He needs to hear from you directly about the consequences of his actions. If he can’t control himself enough in how he is talking to kids, then he should rethink coaching. Not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

You should email the coach to call you. He needs to hear from you directly about the consequences of his actions. If he can’t control himself enough in how he is talking to kids, then he should rethink coaching. Not cool.

I would contact the coach about today.

I would also contact the league or whatever club is in charge. Write the email now but wait until Monday to send it (just to make sure your tone is what you want.) Today, I would contact any players you’re close to and let the families know you’re not going. The coach is incredibly inappropriate. Part of being in a team means working together and sitting on the bench when it’s your turn, but if your team is getting treated like crap, it means standing up for yourself and your teammates. This coach sucks. Seriously, he couldn’t count the number of players on the field? What a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

You should email the coach to call you. He needs to hear from you directly about the consequences of his actions. If he can’t control himself enough in how he is talking to kids, then he should rethink coaching. Not cool.

I would contact the coach about today.

I would also contact the league or whatever club is in charge. Write the email now but wait until Monday to send it (just to make sure your tone is what you want.) Today, I would contact any players you’re close to and let the families know you’re not going. The coach is incredibly inappropriate. Part of being in a team means working together and sitting on the bench when it’s your turn, but if your team is getting treated like crap, it means standing up for yourself and your teammates. This coach sucks. Seriously, he couldn’t count the number of players on the field? What a loser.

OMG - if you can't handle a little disappointment or what you perceive to be unfair treatment at U10, you should get out of soccer and any other team sport now. This advice ^^ is horrible. The sport is only great if my kid gets to start and play the whole game? Have you ever noticed there are 25 players on a baseball roster, 12 on a basketball roster, and 18 on a soccer team? Not everyone can be on the field at once. A coach has a bad day and you are ready to blow the whole thing up? Move on and save yourselves and your future teammates a lot of grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

You should email the coach to call you. He needs to hear from you directly about the consequences of his actions. If he can’t control himself enough in how he is talking to kids, then he should rethink coaching. Not cool.

I would contact the coach about today.

I would also contact the league or whatever club is in charge. Write the email now but wait until Monday to send it (just to make sure your tone is what you want.) Today, I would contact any players you’re close to and let the families know you’re not going. The coach is incredibly inappropriate. Part of being in a team means working together and sitting on the bench when it’s your turn, but if your team is getting treated like crap, it means standing up for yourself and your teammates. This coach sucks. Seriously, he couldn’t count the number of players on the field? What a loser.

OMG - if you can't handle a little disappointment or what you perceive to be unfair treatment at U10, you should get out of soccer and any other team sport now. This advice ^^ is horrible. The sport is only great if my kid gets to start and play the whole game? Have you ever noticed there are 25 players on a baseball roster, 12 on a basketball roster, and 18 on a soccer team? Not everyone can be on the field at once. A coach has a bad day and you are ready to blow the whole thing up? Move on and save yourselves and your future teammates a lot of grief.

Wow. You might try some reading comprehension lessons. OP’s kid sat on the bench for an entire half after playing 10 minutes in the first half on a developmental team. OP’s kid got yelled at by a coach who couldn’t figure out he had the wrong number of players on the field. If you’re equating that treatment with OP wanting her kid to start and play the entire time, you really do have a reading comprehension problem. And where is the poster above suggesting “blowing the whole thing up?” Contacting the coach and the league about this exactly what OP should do.

[Anonymous]

This is not a recreation league - the coaches and the players play to win. You want equal playing time, play in a recreation league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a recreation league - the coaches and the players play to win. You want equal playing time, play in a recreation league.

It’s a developmental team, not “have a better team play the game for us” team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a recreation league - the coaches and the players play to win. You want equal playing time, play in a recreation league.

OP wants soccer socialism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did either of you discuss with your son what he wanted to do about today?

He would rather stay home.
He went from liking his coach for the most part to hating him. The coach really laid into him, blaming him for the loss.

You should email the coach to call you. He needs to hear from you directly about the consequences of his actions. If he can’t control himself enough in how he is talking to kids, then he should rethink coaching. Not cool.

I would contact the coach about today.

I would also contact the league or whatever club is in charge. Write the email now but wait until Monday to send it (just to make sure your tone is what you want.) Today, I would contact any players you’re close to and let the families know you’re not going. The coach is incredibly inappropriate. Part of being in a team means working together and sitting on the bench when it’s your turn, but if your team is getting treated like crap, it means standing up for yourself and your teammates. This coach sucks. Seriously, he couldn’t count the number of players on the field? What a loser.

OMG - if you can't handle a little disappointment or what you perceive to be unfair treatment at U10, you should get out of soccer and any other team sport now. This advice ^^ is horrible. The sport is only great if my kid gets to start and play the whole game? Have you ever noticed there are 25 players on a baseball roster, 12 on a basketball roster, and 18 on a soccer team? Not everyone can be on the field at once. A coach has a bad day and you are ready to blow the whole thing up? Move on and save yourselves and your future teammates a lot of grief.

A little disappointment is not getting a lot of play time. But a coach blaming a child when he couldn’t count the number of kids on the field isn’t “disappointing “ - it’s wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a recreation league - the coaches and the players play to win. You want equal playing time, play in a recreation league.

OP wants soccer socialism.

No, capitalism. Paying to play on a team. Not paying for kids that don’t pay team costs to play instead.