Anonymous wrote:So make an effort. Invite people over for drinks and dinner. Disarm them with your charm. If they start being "competitive" or "superficial" acknowledge that that may just be a mask they use to protect themselves, and be kind. Be interested in what they have to say. If they brag about their careers, instead of being annoyed, try asking them real questions about what they do and why they love it, and watch them open up. I have a friend who I first hated because all she ever talked about was the private school her kids were applying too, but I hung in there and realized that she was just playing a role she thought she had to play, and underneath all that she was just terrific. Now I can razz her about being one of "those moms" and vice versa.
Basically, if you refuse to play the game, it will attract to you others who feel the same. But someone has to be the one to take that risk of being open and real first.
This is excellent advice! I completely agree. Please don't write off an entire area. There are lots of wonderful people here. Don't worry about the overall vibe of the area or even your neighborhood. Focus on individuals, one at a time.
My experience here has been that some people are wonderful right from the first time you meet them. Some open up slowly because they're guarded or shy or just overwhelmed with their lives. Others put on a front that masks their truly kind and interesting selves. But if you're patient, persistent and kind, you'll find some great people around here!!
I think this is some of the best, most sensible advice I have ever seen on this board.
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