VBAC attempt experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you do realize that many women with vaginal deliveries (even normal uncomplicated ones) also experience birth trauma, right? You seem to assume that trauma can’t be experienced by women who deliver vaginally, and that is just not the case.

Yes, of course I understand that. And they likely have their own, attendant demons to contend with. I'm not saying C-section trauma is any worse.

What I AM saying is that no one should dismiss, discount or wave away the very real feelings of loss, missing out, failing, etc., that many women who have had C-section trauma experience.

Do you see me discounting anyone's birth experience or trauma? No. But we absolutely have seen people dismissing, minimizing and waving away very real feelings of loss from those who have had C-sections. We've even seen people guilting and shaming women for having those very natural, normal feelings?

How about listening?

I am listening. And the PP is also pointing out that the natural birth and VBAC community contribute to those feelings and promote the idea that there is one best way to give birth, when very little people ultimately have that experience.

You know who has a say in what the best way for any woman to give birth is? The woman herself.

I have a friend who had a vaginal birth with an episiotomy. I listened to her talk about that experience. If she had said, "I would have been better off with a C-section," I would have listened to that. I wouldn't immediately, defensively tell her that no, that wouldn't have been better for her. I would have listened to and supported her.

If you have a friend or even someone on an online forum tell you that, FOR THEM, a vaginal birth would have been the best way to give birth versus her own traumatic C-section, you don't get to question or override that. Because she is talking about her own body, her own mental health, her own experience, her own preferences, her own hopes, her own self.

Can doctors and medical practitioners and birthing experts inform and guide and counsel and coach? Yes. When sought after for their advice, yes.

Do DCUM harpies get to? Nope.

[Anonymous]

PP you sound super triggered and you’re not making sense. So somehow women know the best way to give birth? In that case, why have OBs at all? Or midwives for that matter?

For most of history women feared birth. It was the leading cause of death for women and babies and women were desperate to escape the pain of it. It was women who demanded pain relief. It was women who formed the Twilight Sleep association and demanded US doctors give them twilight sleep. And in many countries today women routinely die because they can’t access safe C -sections. Access to safe surgery and medical facilities is a privilege many women in the developing world would do anything for. One women still dies every 11 seconds from birth.

No one is denying your feelings. But you may want to question why you feel so much shame and feelings of failure. Maybe it’s because women are given unrealistic expectations about birth. Maybe birth classes and books and our care providers don’t actually do a good job of preparing us for the reality of it - C section, vaginal, operative, etc. I hope you’ve considered therapy to process your feelings.

https://www.kff.org/1cd8138/
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07f0fxt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP you sound super triggered and you’re not making sense. So somehow women know the best way to give birth? In that case, why have OBs at all? Or midwives for that matter?

For most of history women feared birth. It was the leading cause of death for women and babies and women were desperate to escape the pain of it. It was women who demanded pain relief. It was women who formed the Twilight Sleep association and demanded US doctors give them twilight sleep. And in many countries today women routinely die because they can’t access safe C -sections. Access to safe surgery and medical facilities is a privilege many women in the developing world would do anything for. One women still dies every 11 seconds from birth.

No one is denying your feelings. But you may want to question why you feel so much shame and feelings of failure. Maybe it’s because women are given unrealistic expectations about birth. Maybe birth classes and books and our care providers don’t actually do a good job of preparing us for the reality of it - C section, vaginal, operative, etc. I hope you’ve considered therapy to process your feelings.

https://www.kff.org/1cd8138/
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07f0fxt

I'm not saying she unilaterally decides or should decide; I AM saying that she is part of the decision-making process.

And as far as being the authority on how she does and should feel after the fact? She alone gets to say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason I always hear for choosing a scheduled C is the desire for a controlled experience. I think that is a big motivation especially if you had a stressful first labor. I guess if your first was a scheduled C and you liked the controlled atmosphere then maybe you should go with that again? however if you are able to embrace the chaos and view the labor process a valuable birthing experience then I don’t think you will regret choosing VBAC. Not to say all the risks of either mode are equal but if you truly don’t know what to decide..

Yes, I think women, especially around here, like the scheduled aspect of the surgery because they can plan ahead with work etc.

Uh, this is not universally true. I had my scheduled C due to placenta previa. Would have loved to try for a VBAC but it wasn’t in the cards for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not saying she unilaterally decides or should decide; I AM saying that she is part of the decision-making process.

And as far as being the authority on how she does and should feel after the fact? She alone gets to say that.

+1. Support women and how they feel after birth, help them to heal after birth - mentally, emotionall, AND physically. I got inadequate in ALL 3 of those areas after giving birth and am dealing with PTSD 10 years later.

[Anonymous]

^^Me too, PP! I hope you continue to heal.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This thread has taken quite a turn. First I never mentioned anything about delivering at home. Second I personally don't care aboout vbac or c-section from my emotional standpoint (though I respect that others have different feelings). In my case I want to know which option and recovery has the least risk of problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread has taken quite a turn. First I never mentioned anything about delivering at home. Second I personally don't care aboout vbac or c-section from my emotional standpoint (though I respect that others have different feelings). In my case I want to know which option and recovery has the least risk of problems.

YES Expectant moms is typically so helpful and nice...I was really shocked by it. There is at least the thread called "tell me why a C-section is better" and maybe it's counterpart is out there too. Those may help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread has taken quite a turn. First I never mentioned anything about delivering at home. Second I personally don't care aboout vbac or c-section from my emotional standpoint (though I respect that others have different feelings). In my case I want to know which option and recovery has the least risk of problems.

This is something DCUM can’t help you with. It’s also something you can’t know in advance very well because everyone is different. Your OBGYN or a midwife familiar with your medical history would be able to tell you more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread has taken quite a turn. First I never mentioned anything about delivering at home. Second I personally don't care aboout vbac or c-section from my emotional standpoint (though I respect that others have different feelings). In my case I want to know which option and recovery has the least risk of problems.

This is something DCUM can’t help you with. It’s also something you can’t know in advance very well because everyone is different. Your OBGYN or a midwife familiar with your medical history would be able to tell you more.

+1

If that’s actually what you want to know, OP, then there is no way to get quantitative info about risks from anecdotal stories on an anonymous message board. I’m 35 weeks with my second. First was delivered by emergency c at 32 weeks due to preeclampsia. I’m currently a “perfect” VBAC candidate. Baby is in a good position, measuring about 40th percentile, all my labs and BP are looking good this time, OB is very supportive of a VBAC etc. But I’m still anxious about it and don’t feel like my heart is 100% in it. Bad or even just rough outcomes are still totally possible no matter how this baby comes out. And while theoretically the recovery (especially with a toddler at home) should be a lot easier if I do the VBAC I still can’t forget how insanely grateful I felt every time I used the bathroom during my last recovery that I didn’t have any soreness or tearing to contend with. I also have a very rough-looking raised scar from my first c section and I keep wondering if I’d rather have them try to fix it during a scheduled section than keep it PLUS add potential long-term changes or damage to my nether regions. Really all you’re going to get here is the emotional side of things. Your OB can give you all the facts and data but it won’t chsnhe the fact that we all go into this wondering if we’ll be in the negative outcome side of the stat no matter how small the risk is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This thread has taken quite a turn. First I never mentioned anything about delivering at home. Second I personally don't care aboout vbac or c-section from my emotional standpoint (though I respect that others have different feelings). In my case I want to know which option and recovery has the least risk of problems.

When you write a vague question, you should expect answers all over the place! You didn’t give the details that would be necessary to even give an opinion about which has the least risks.

[Anonymous]

I had two good experiences with VBAC. With the first VBAC, the labor was long (over 24 hours), but I had a great team with me and everything went well. With the second VBAC, labor was only three hours and I popped that baby out with the second push. I think it helps to have a supportive group of people working with you through the pregnancy and labor. Having a positive mindset and good techniques to work through the pain (which I didn't have with my c-section birth) made a huge difference for me.

[Anonymous]

I had a repeat C. VBAC was an option but the heightened risk of catastrophic uterine rupture made c-section the better choice for me. I also got my tubes tied at the same time which I have never once regretted doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Turns out that there is not a lot of hard data to inform decisions. From what I have found only 50% of attemps work and not much info on the the ones that worked led to issues for mom or baby, or if the ones that went to a c section after labor attempt had a higher chance of problems compared to scheduled second c sections. I could care less about which method to use from an experience perspective just want one that has the highest chance of better outcomes (and lower risk of really bad outcomes).

Sounds like you want a C scheduled for exactly 39 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a csection after 20 hours of labor with first. With the second i was determined to VBAC, since I felt like there was no good reason I should have had a Csection, other than stubborn baby position and laboring too long (water had broken, meconium leaking, minor distress). The C-section was very emotionally traumatic for me, a painful recovery, and also led to some secondary infertility issues. Did not want to go through that again. So I started prepping from the moment I became pregnant with second, including changing OB, finding a doula, reading all I could about birthing, going to a crunchy birth class, and visiting a prenatal chiropractor throughout pregnancy to help with baby position. Visited the hospital with the doula and interrogated all the nurses. Asked my provider tons and tons of questions. Got all my ducks in a row and made sure I had the right support team in place. It was a lot of work and time, but I'm thankful I did it. Had a successful VBAC in a hospital with no interventions (which was key for me - my goal was no help from the hospital other than catching the baby). It was hard, but wonderful, and I learned so much through the process. My recovery was great and it made life with a newborn so easy compared to my other experience.

With all that said, I have a family member have a successful VBAC at home with a midwife, but she basically became a midwife herself in the research process. She was fine. I personally would not be comfortable doing it outside of the hospital setting. As others have written, a lot could go wrong.

I'm surprised a legit midwife would be willing to do this at all. It seems very high risk for a home birth. Maybe if you had a section and this was VBAC 4, but as a second child after a c section? This is crazy to me.

“Legit” midwives do this and more. Mine helped me with a VBA2C at home, and after a minor uterine rupture with #2. Not crazy at all, childbirth is a natural physiological process when guided by trained caregivers, whether at home or in a hospital setting, doesn’t need to be and shouldn’t be so full of all this drama.