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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP you do realize that many women with vaginal deliveries (even normal uncomplicated ones) also experience birth trauma, right? You seem to assume that trauma can’t be experienced by women who deliver vaginally, and that is just not the case. [/quote]

Yes, of course I understand that. And they likely have their own, attendant demons to contend with. I'm not saying C-section trauma is any worse.

What I AM saying is that no one should dismiss, discount or wave away the very real feelings of loss, missing out, failing, etc., that many women who have had C-section trauma experience.

Do you see me discounting anyone's birth experience or trauma? No. But we absolutely have seen people dismissing, minimizing and waving away very real feelings of loss from those who have had C-sections. We've even seen people guilting and shaming women for having those very natural, normal feelings?

How about listening?[/quote]

I am listening. And the PP is also pointing out that the natural birth and VBAC community contribute to those feelings and promote the idea that there is one best way to give birth, when very little people ultimately have that experience. [/quote]

You know who has a say in what the best way for any woman to give birth is? The woman herself.

I have a friend who had a vaginal birth with an episiotomy. I listened to her talk about that experience. If she had said, "I would have been better off with a C-section," I would have listened to that. I wouldn't immediately, defensively tell her that no, that wouldn't have been better for her. I would have listened to and supported her.

If you have a friend or even someone on an online forum tell you that, FOR THEM, a vaginal birth would have been the best way to give birth versus her own traumatic C-section, you don't get to question or override that. Because she is talking about her own body, her own mental health, her own experience, her own preferences, her own hopes, her own self.

Can doctors and medical practitioners and birthing experts inform and guide and counsel and coach? Yes. When sought after for their advice, yes.

Do DCUM harpies get to? Nope. [/quote]

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