7th grade DD does not like lid that sits at her table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if the kids are "tough"? Does that mean that they have the right to misbehave with no consequences? I am tough. Unapproachable. I look like a dangerous person, and I can be. But I do not harass other people without cause. You advocate for your daughter in this situation. Learning how to deal with other people is necessary, but if she has no one who will show her how to stand up and be heard, how will she learn to advocate for herself? Show her. Request a private meeting with the teacher. Tell the teacher exactly what is happening. Good luck to you and to your daughter, OP.

You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Self advocacy is an unbalanced tool. If you are a 6 foot tall male student aged 12 you are going to be listened to a lot quicker than if you are a skinny 4'5 feet tall girl. I know because my kid is the skinny little girl.

That doesn’t mean the skinny 4’5 girl doesn’t need to attempt and practice doing it anyway. THEN mom can step in.

And that is what we usually do. DD self advocates and then due to being brushed off, ignored, sent to talk to someone else I have to then step in. But thanks for letting me know what we *should* be doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

+1

OP, be aware. There are teachers that deliberately "pair up" the nice kid with the problem kid. I have seen a situation where the teacher deliberately does this several times throughout a school year, claiming that "(the nice kid) isn't complaining, so there should not be a problem here". BS. The teacher knows damn well what they are doing, and unsuspecting parents of the "nice kid" should be aware that this happens - in order to make the *teacher's* day easier. In fact, I have seen the teacher actually try to blame the nice kid for not wanting to put up with the constant disruptions, day in and day out. Your child deserves an environment conducive to learning - she is not that (or any other) disruptive kid's personal aide.

Do not fall into this trap - make it known that you don't want your kid next to that disruptive kid. I guarantee his parents and teachers know about his issues, and the teachers are most definitely trying to pacify the problem kid's parents. Hell to the NO.

I don't agree with drama-stirring parents who are always complaining about other people's kids - but this is not that. This situation is legit.

+2 you know the PTA moms have already emailed the teacher: Don’t put MY KID next to Larlo 1,2, and 3. They are disruptive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

+1

OP, be aware. There are teachers that deliberately "pair up" the nice kid with the problem kid. I have seen a situation where the teacher deliberately does this several times throughout a school year, claiming that "(the nice kid) isn't complaining, so there should not be a problem here". BS. The teacher knows damn well what they are doing, and unsuspecting parents of the "nice kid" should be aware that this happens - in order to make the *teacher's* day easier. In fact, I have seen the teacher actually try to blame the nice kid for not wanting to put up with the constant disruptions, day in and day out. Your child deserves an environment conducive to learning - she is not that (or any other) disruptive kid's personal aide.

Do not fall into this trap - make it known that you don't want your kid next to that disruptive kid. I guarantee his parents and teachers know about his issues, and the teachers are most definitely trying to pacify the problem kid's parents. Hell to the NO.

I don't agree with drama-stirring parents who are always complaining about other people's kids - but this is not that. This situation is legit.

+2 you know the PTA moms have already emailed the teacher: Don’t put MY KID next to Larlo 1,2, and 3. They are disruptive!

Yup. We all know it takes a village, but the quiet kids who never cause trouble and are nice to everyone are often asked to be better villagers than the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

+1

OP, be aware. There are teachers that deliberately "pair up" the nice kid with the problem kid. I have seen a situation where the teacher deliberately does this several times throughout a school year, claiming that "(the nice kid) isn't complaining, so there should not be a problem here". BS. The teacher knows damn well what they are doing, and unsuspecting parents of the "nice kid" should be aware that this happens - in order to make the *teacher's* day easier. In fact, I have seen the teacher actually try to blame the nice kid for not wanting to put up with the constant disruptions, day in and day out. Your child deserves an environment conducive to learning - she is not that (or any other) disruptive kid's personal aide.

Do not fall into this trap - make it known that you don't want your kid next to that disruptive kid. I guarantee his parents and teachers know about his issues, and the teachers are most definitely trying to pacify the problem kid's parents. Hell to the NO.

I don't agree with drama-stirring parents who are always complaining about other people's kids - but this is not that. This situation is legit.

+2 you know the PTA moms have already emailed the teacher: Don’t put MY KID next to Larlo 1,2, and 3. They are disruptive!

Yup. We all know it takes a village, but the quiet kids who never cause trouble and are nice to everyone are often asked to be better villagers than the rest.

+1

Exactly. Eff that. I, nor my kid, are free help for the problem kid or anyone else. Put a stop to it, and put it in writing, OP - and report that lame arse teacher (who is allowing, and possibly promoting the disruption) if you have to. That teacher is as guilty as anyone. BS.

[Anonymous]

LOL at all the moms here who think that they have perfect children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your child is in 7th GRADE. Let her deal with it. She's a big girl now.

NP here. She has anxiety and these kids have behavioral issues. PP is just trying to make you feel like s**t. Everything is black and white to them.

I think you can privately email the teacher. When this was happening to my DD in 6th grade the teacher switched up the seating plan...for multiple kids so it didn’t stand out.

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL at all the moms here who think that they have perfect children

So all your kids are assholes?

[Anonymous]

Confirm w/your kid that they are ok with you getting involved and if so-I’d absolutely make sure my kid had my support in getting out of this lunch time stress. She’s probably dealing with them in classes but has structure and oversight to feel safe from them. Lunchtime isn’t just a meal-its a time to relax, regroup, and hopefully spend time with friends or in quiet reflection. Kids don’t need to experience bullying or even planned unpleasantness. She also shouldn’t have to moderate their behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and some moron sits next to me listening to their music without earbuds, I will move away because discussing it with him might not end well for me. a.kid in a class just cant get up and sit elsewhere. kids get plenty of experience navigating uncomfortable situations while in school but chronic interruptions by a kid that might be volatile need to be addressed and not tolerated. if you are ok with your kid sitting next to them, be my guest.

Your analogy is off. You can just avoid someone on the metro. In a public school, the students have to sit somewhere in the class. Even the annoying and inappropriate ones. And you complaining about that kid being sat next to yours just makes other kids have to deal with it.

Also, from my Post, which you selectively referred to, I said that there were "thresholds" over which I would get involved. But, luckily, the strategies my child and I worked through helped her to be able to stand up for herself, and be a bit more resilient. I'm sorry yours is not.

NP. Well, yeah. And that's unfortunate. But please explain to me why that's should be my, or my kid's problem.

This is a separate issue from whether Op should intervene - I for one think that her daughter should handle it, at least initially. But I really don't get the "well, he has to sit somewhere" mentality. Maybe there are kids who won't be bothered by his antics, and he can sit there. Regardless, we want kids to self-advocate, but not in this instance?

At a minimum, she needs to register her displeasure so the teacher knows it when tables switch around.

Because you're not homeschooling. You're in a public school with a community of students beyond your child. You will eventually have to send your kid into society with some ability to cope.

But, I get it. You're content to be a selfish a-hole and raising your kid to be one too.

So I just want to be clear. You think that if my kid is having her education disrupted by other students at the table, she *shouldn't* ask to be relocated, because (i) hey, it's public school, and (ii) it wouldn't be fair if another kids had to sit next to the offenders?

That's your position?

Your kid is expected learn to deal with people that are not like her, just like you are expecting them to learn to deal with her. That is the way it works.

NP.

That’s not the way it works. You teach your kid to get along with people who are not like her. You don’t teach her to be a doormat. You teach her she can and should stand up for herself when people - be they like her or not - are disruptive to her education and make her uncomfortable. Sure, the teacher may switch them around or not. But a girl should know she can advocate for herself and that her parents will have her back.

I don't see sitting in a room or at a table with people that you don't like as 'being a doormat'. Running away from every little thing isn't 'standing up for yourself', its just running away.

The PP - you? - said learn to deal with people you don’t like. So one way of dealing with these kids is going to the teacher and saying these are obnoxious - probably not news to the teacher - and they are disrupting my ability to learn and I don’t want to sit with them. Great if the teacher can move her. If not, she comes up with other ways to deal with it. You are saying she has to sit there and take it. She doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL at all the moms here who think that they have perfect children

??? I don't think my kid is perfect. He is high strung, but internalizes it so he appears quiet and easy going. He can get bent out of shape about trivial things. He is behind grade level in reading and not making this problem easy to solve. On the other hand, he is filled with compassion and kindness so some of the kids with troubles like to be near him. So the teachers exploit that, sometimes too much.

Perfect, schmerfect.

[Anonymous]

From the perspective of someone who's taught in the classroom: Yes, teachers do often use the quiet, well behaved children to balance out table groups. No, we don't always know their inner struggles. When anxiety or past social struggles are involved, it's completely appropriate to get in touch with the teacher, particularly if the situation is interfering with learning. It's not a huge deal to reshuffle table groups now that we're a few weeks into the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

+1

OP, be aware. There are teachers that deliberately "pair up" the nice kid with the problem kid. I have seen a situation where the teacher deliberately does this several times throughout a school year, claiming that "(the nice kid) isn't complaining, so there should not be a problem here". BS. The teacher knows damn well what they are doing, and unsuspecting parents of the "nice kid" should be aware that this happens - in order to make the *teacher's* day easier. In fact, I have seen the teacher actually try to blame the nice kid for not wanting to put up with the constant disruptions, day in and day out. Your child deserves an environment conducive to learning - she is not that (or any other) disruptive kid's personal aide.

Do not fall into this trap - make it known that you don't want your kid next to that disruptive kid. I guarantee his parents and teachers know about his issues, and the teachers are most definitely trying to pacify the problem kid's parents. Hell to the NO.

I don't agree with drama-stirring parents who are always complaining about other people's kids - but this is not that. This situation is legit.

+2 you know the PTA moms have already emailed the teacher: Don’t put MY KID next to Larlo 1,2, and 3. They are disruptive!

Yup. We all know it takes a village, but the quiet kids who never cause trouble and are nice to everyone are often asked to be better villagers than the rest.

+1

Exactly. Eff that. I, nor my kid, are free help for the problem kid or anyone else. Put a stop to it, and put it in writing, OP - and report that lame arse teacher (who is allowing, and possibly promoting the disruption) if you have to. That teacher is as guilty as anyone. BS.

I agree. At the first sign that your child is receiving any less than the very best, most favored status should result in scorched earth. After all, is the point of being a parent, to amass wealth, power, and social status to browbeat everyone around you into ensuring that you child is preferred? Why would any parent tolerate, even the most minor inconvenience? Obviously, they are just too weak to stand up for themselves, and deserve to be crushed under the wheels of a superior force. I, for one, can't imagine how any school could employ any teacher that fails to control 7th grades with military drill precision. Obviously, any kids that are "disruptive" can be sent away; their challenges are their own and they are undermining this child's chance to succeed. OP's child has probably already lost out on her shot at Harvard because of this! Sure, this may sound harsh, but you know they PTA mom's are throwing elbows (except Jen, did you see the cookies? Talk about desperate. And can you imagine being so trashy to think that carbs are an appropriate gift. Like, here let me poison you with fat. Ugh.). So, yeah, I recommend having your attorney contact the Superintendent about this shocking travesty. Some may suggest the principal, but obviously that person is either in league with this pond scum masquerading as teacher or too incompetent to notice that this "teacher" hadn't isolated the bad kids from the rest of the class by the second week of September. Make sure your attorney knows how to throw his weight around.

Whatever you do, don't except any excuses. Your child's entire future is riding on your ability to solve every problem for them. Don't listen to these idiots that suggest your child approach the teacher about the difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

+1

OP, be aware. There are teachers that deliberately "pair up" the nice kid with the problem kid. I have seen a situation where the teacher deliberately does this several times throughout a school year, claiming that "(the nice kid) isn't complaining, so there should not be a problem here". BS. The teacher knows damn well what they are doing, and unsuspecting parents of the "nice kid" should be aware that this happens - in order to make the *teacher's* day easier. In fact, I have seen the teacher actually try to blame the nice kid for not wanting to put up with the constant disruptions, day in and day out. Your child deserves an environment conducive to learning - she is not that (or any other) disruptive kid's personal aide.

Do not fall into this trap - make it known that you don't want your kid next to that disruptive kid. I guarantee his parents and teachers know about his issues, and the teachers are most definitely trying to pacify the problem kid's parents. Hell to the NO.

I don't agree with drama-stirring parents who are always complaining about other people's kids - but this is not that. This situation is legit.

+2 you know the PTA moms have already emailed the teacher: Don’t put MY KID next to Larlo 1,2, and 3. They are disruptive!

Yup. We all know it takes a village, but the quiet kids who never cause trouble and are nice to everyone are often asked to be better villagers than the rest.

+1

Exactly. Eff that. I, nor my kid, are free help for the problem kid or anyone else. Put a stop to it, and put it in writing, OP - and report that lame arse teacher (who is allowing, and possibly promoting the disruption) if you have to. That teacher is as guilty as anyone. BS.

I agree. At the first sign that your child is receiving any less than the very best, most favored status should result in scorched earth. After all, is the point of being a parent, to amass wealth, power, and social status to browbeat everyone around you into ensuring that you child is preferred? Why would any parent tolerate, even the most minor inconvenience? Obviously, they are just too weak to stand up for themselves, and deserve to be crushed under the wheels of a superior force. I, for one, can't imagine how any school could employ any teacher that fails to control 7th grades with military drill precision. Obviously, any kids that are "disruptive" can be sent away; their challenges are their own and they are undermining this child's chance to succeed. OP's child has probably already lost out on her shot at Harvard because of this! Sure, this may sound harsh, but you know they PTA mom's are throwing elbows (except Jen, did you see the cookies? Talk about desperate. And can you imagine being so trashy to think that carbs are an appropriate gift. Like, here let me poison you with fat. Ugh.). So, yeah, I recommend having your attorney contact the Superintendent about this shocking travesty. Some may suggest the principal, but obviously that person is either in league with this pond scum masquerading as teacher or too incompetent to notice that this "teacher" hadn't isolated the bad kids from the rest of the class by the second week of September. Make sure your attorney knows how to throw his weight around.

Whatever you do, don't except any excuses. Your child's entire future is riding on your ability to solve every problem for them. Don't listen to these idiots that suggest your child approach the teacher about the difficulties.

Signed,

Parent of Problem Child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the perspective of someone who's taught in the classroom: Yes, teachers do often use the quiet, well behaved children to balance out table groups. No, we don't always know their inner struggles. When anxiety or past social struggles are involved, it's completely appropriate to get in touch with the teacher, particularly if the situation is interfering with learning. It's not a huge deal to reshuffle table groups now that we're a few weeks into the school year.

+1

Good teachers reshuffle the table configurations several times per year, so that one child is not left next to the problem child all or most of the year. It is not fair or right to put such a huge responsibility and distraction on one child.

Quiet, well behaved children should not be punished for being quiet or well behaved. I know one disruptive kid who could not listen, sit still or follow directions (among other issues) - and it meant whoever sat next to him was not allowed hear directions, either. That gets old quick. If that kid needs a personal aide, the parents should be requesting one - but my kid is not on duty for your kid 24/7 - because that interferes with my child's right to learn.

It has nothing to do with Harvard or anything else, as other PP incorrectly insinuated. Maybe parents like other PP should be doing more for their child, and not be so interested in the other students who are simply trying to learn at school. Maybe if you weren't so judgy, other parents would be more willing to help you.