7th grade DD does not like lid that sits at her table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This
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God, the coddling on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=

[Anonymous]

If your DD is a particular target of these kids, I would say something. If these kids are just treating DD like they would treat anyone else (even if that's not particularly well), I would tell my DD that she should self advocate if she'd like to, give her strategies for coping, etc, but I would not get involved unless it escalated beyond talking and occasional interruptions.

[Anonymous]

so the kids that repeatedly disrupt the class have to be tolerated? so therefore, these kids will continue to think their behavior is acceptable? you guys are nuts. these obnoxious kids need to be moved to sit individually so that they can't bother the other kids who are trying to pay attention. teacher should let counselor know that these kids need help controlling their outbursts. if the teachers cant make them stop, what makes you think another kid can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and some moron sits next to me listening to their music without earbuds, I will move away because discussing it with him might not end well for me. a.kid in a class just cant get up and sit elsewhere. kids get plenty of experience navigating uncomfortable situations while in school but chronic interruptions by a kid that might be volatile need to be addressed and not tolerated. if you are ok with your kid sitting next to them, be my guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

Pp are you the op What school is this? I would pull her out immediately and put her somewhere else! It doesn't sound safe and it sounds like the teacher can't do anything to protect her so I would find another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here. my dd does not need to learn to learn to deal with kids that have behavioral issues in class. what they do is beyond what other kids do in terms of interruptions. they talk back to the teacher, talk when the teacher is teaching, and constantly interrupt my dd when she is trying to work. if the teacher cant get them to stop, why should my daughter have to manage them. I appreciate the poster who gets it. I did tell my daughter to discuss with the teacher and hope she does something. if the 2 other kids have the right to be educated, so does my daughter.

I agree with you, OP. Just email the teacher or have your daughter email the teacher. Good luck to her! My DD also has a disruptive kid at her table. I hate tables, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

Maybe the other kids don't like her! Your dd can ask but, don't you ask and don"t expect the teacher to change for her. Good lesson on how to deal with all types of people.

Ok, so you as an adult would NEVER tolerate this in your workplace but kids just need to deal for multiple years? Just suck it up and take it. I would contact the teacher and the counselor to get this resolved. Your child has as much right as any other to have a place to learn that is free of reasonable distractions and harassment.

Huh? I work with all kinds of people. Some of them are pretty obnoxious, but that's how it goes. I can't call HR and demand they be fired or demand to ne moved to another unit, it doesn't really work that way. You don't have to like everyone.

You would not put up with a co-worker who physically bumps into your desk repeatedly, kicks you under the table, picks his nose and wipes it on your paper, reaches out to draw on your paper, yells out curse words, etc.

You wouldn't put up with it if you then were required to explain how to do an assignment to your co-worker who doesn't want to do it and threatens to kick your ass if you don't leave him alone. But your boss keeps asking you to help him out.

Pp are you the op What school is this? I would pull her out immediately and put her somewhere else! It doesn't sound safe and it sounds like the teacher can't do anything to protect her so I would find another school.

Those were not the OPs complaints. Someone else was projecting that. OP just said they are loud, talk too much, bump into her kid and made fun of her hair one time last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so the kids that repeatedly disrupt the class have to be tolerated? so therefore, these kids will continue to think their behavior is acceptable? you guys are nuts. these obnoxious kids need to be moved to sit individually so that they can't bother the other kids who are trying to pay attention. teacher should let counselor know that these kids need help controlling their outbursts. if the teachers cant make them stop, what makes you think another kid can.

Yes, that's what "least restrictive environment" and "inclusion" mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This
This
This

God, the coddling on this board.

I would just ignore these types of comments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your child is in 7th GRADE. Let her deal with it. She's a big girl now.

I have 3 boys, all a year apart. My middle child is painfully shy, non confrontational and will NOT advocate for himself. He's just not there yet. My oldest and youngest are very outspoken and have no problem sharing and asking for things at school. I have to advocate for my 7th grader until he is able to do it for himself. I think it will come with growth. Not all kids develop at the same pace, until then, I will help him and guide him. Your advice is very short sighted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and some moron sits next to me listening to their music without earbuds, I will move away because discussing it with him might not end well for me. a.kid in a class just cant get up and sit elsewhere. kids get plenty of experience navigating uncomfortable situations while in school but chronic interruptions by a kid that might be volatile need to be addressed and not tolerated. if you are ok with your kid sitting next to them, be my guest.

Your analogy is off. You can just avoid someone on the metro. In a public school, the students have to sit somewhere in the class. Even the annoying and inappropriate ones. And you complaining about that kid being sat next to yours just makes other kids have to deal with it.

Also, from my Post, which you selectively referred to, I said that there were "thresholds" over which I would get involved. But, luckily, the strategies my child and I worked through helped her to be able to stand up for herself, and be a bit more resilient. I'm sorry yours is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This. In ES there was a couple of tough kids from one family. Inappropriate. Loud. Distracting. One parent complained about it after about a week and the kid was moved to my kid's table. The kid has to sit somewhere so I didn't complain about it. We talked about a) strategies for dealing and b) if it crosses a certain threshold, I will talk to the teacher (which I never had to do). This mom was going on and on about it at a happy hour, and how she had to have the kid moved away from her DD.=

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and some moron sits next to me listening to their music without earbuds, I will move away because discussing it with him might not end well for me. a.kid in a class just cant get up and sit elsewhere. kids get plenty of experience navigating uncomfortable situations while in school but chronic interruptions by a kid that might be volatile need to be addressed and not tolerated. if you are ok with your kid sitting next to them, be my guest.

As an adult, if I am sitting on the metro and someone sits next to me listening to music without earbuds, I ignore it because its is a small thing.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids had to deal with this in MS. We stepped in with one when we heard form a teacher from our elementary school that other kids were coming back and telling her that DC was being bullied and really having a hard time. Apparently, we, the parents, were the last to know. With another of our kids we asked for a conference because grades had dropped for work done in class, but not at home. Found out the teacher thought other kids would benefit from being near our quiet, diligent kid, but the result was that our kid couldn't hear the teacher and couldn't finish any classwork due to the disruptive neighbor. He was moved and everything went back to normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there are 4 kids at her table. the one next to her and across from her have behavior issues and are constantly talking. the one next to her always bumps her during class and distracts her. my dd has anxiety and this is stressing her out since the 2 kids are "tough". She wants to ask the teacher to move her but is also worried these 2 kids will retaliate against her. there was an incident last year when the one kid was making fun of my child hair. my kid is very quiet and non confrontational so she doesnt know what to do. for any other kid, I would say suck it up. but this time, I really do want her moved. any advice?

But not for yours?

Suck it up, she needs to learn to deal with life around people she doesn't like or who she's not comfortable around.

This
This
This

God, the coddling on this board.

I actually don't think it is coddling. Sometimes our children are asked to suck it up and "deal with" kids whose issues are difficult enough that the adults in the room cannot deal with them either. A child simply is not equipped to figure out how to 'manage' a child who needs a behavioral specialist. They just aren't.