UPenn's Head of counseling and psychological services commits suicide

[Anonymous]

Did he leave a note?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing I struggle with understanding, and I mean this with kindness as my life's been touched by suicide too. Do you think it's possible for someone to just kind of lose control/snap and their body goes into autopilot and does it? Like as easily as I can lose my temper and raise my voice with my kids after a tough day/week. Or do you think it's always more intentional/thought-out?

This was kinda funny, when you added the part about snapping on kids.
Humans like to think they are invincible but they are fragile. I often think if a person has been enduring a bad situation for a while, it is possible to snap and flip the switch. Makes you wonder if there are people who While in the process of dying suddenly think DAMN, maybe I should have thought this through. I am not ready to go. But Alas, it is too late and no one is nearby to save the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he leave a note?

Read the article

[Anonymous]

I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is also a great deal of pressure to be successful in the workplace, especially for men. He took this high level position that is a very visible position in the university. Mental health services and the people that run them are in a spotlight. It is quite possible he felt that he wasn't up to the task after a few months there and he became aware of the true complexities of the institution, he may have felt completely overwhelmed, as though he was failing, crushed by the pressure to be successful, unable to see how he could do that he needed to do.

I don't think that is the only reason or that it is specific to UPenn but we can't underestimate the social expectations on men to be professionally successful and to do that with no support or emotion. Men are often expected to care for the needs of others and to be the rock and support for the needs of others and to ask for nothing in return. Add to that not being good enough, not living up to expectations, feeling like an imposter, fear of disappointing others etc. That all takes a heavy toll. In men, unemployment increases the suicide rate - it is such a social focal point of male identity. He had just started this job six months ago - maybe it wasn't going well.

This was my first thought. There is a lot of pressure on people with a "big job" that is somewhat public-facing, and particularly if they are the primary breadwinner, as most men are. This was also a very public way to end his life; not sure what that says, but that also stood out to me about this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

+1, late 90s graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

I went there too, but it is not the same school it once was. I am not sure if it is that the kids are more intense since the pressures of college and high school admission have changed, but there is a very stressed feel the to school, even on what should be an upbeat and positive school tour. I can't put my finger on it. Just doesn't feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

+1, late 90s graduate.

I graduated in 2000 and it did not feel like a pressure cooker at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he leave a note?

Read the article

It’s hard to get through that article what with all of the viruses that pop up.
No - he didn’t leave a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

+1, late 90s graduate.

I graduated in 2000 and it did not feel like a pressure cooker at all.

And was your high school a pressure cooker? I bet not. Even in 2000, high school was much easier.
The AP race is intense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

+1, late 90s graduate.

I graduated in 2000 and it did not feel like a pressure cooker at all.

And was your high school a pressure cooker? I bet not. Even in 2000, high school was much easier.
The AP race is intense.

Yes, very much so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Penn Undergrad and graduated within the last decade and just feel compelled to write in the face of all this second hand information that I loved it, it was an amazing school for me, I met my husband there and he loved it, and our large friend group loved it. I do know two people who transferred as it wasn’t the environment for them- they moved two small liberal arts schools (seven sisters, eg) where the environment was just different than what Penn offers. If your kid wants that environment, don’t go to penn, but the vast majority of people I know loved Penn, worked hard, and have interesting jobs.

I’m sorry for this man and his family.

+1, late 90s graduate.

I graduated in 2000 and it did not feel like a pressure cooker at all.

And was your high school a pressure cooker? I bet not. Even in 2000, high school was much easier.
The AP race is intense.

Yes, very much so

Sorry, not the PP but high school is nothing compared to what it was even 10 years ago. 2000? Come on now.

[Anonymous]

This is really sad. This will really affect the kids he was treating. I mean if you are suicidal and you go to a counselor and they then kill themselves? Geez

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t Penn is 80% kids rejected from HYPS and 20% Trump/Cohen Jersey/Long Island coke trash rich kids who were bribed in?

precisely

[Anonymous]

When you write "UPenn" do you mean "Penn" the school in Philadelphia?