Mothers like this are the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The article was a little corny and over the top/dramatic, but the author doesn’t seem like a bad person or a bad mom to me? She’s involved and supportive. What am I not getting here?

This was my takeaway too, although I'm also firmly in the camp of "emotions are not inherently bad or worthy of judgment." I saw this as a woman expressing her sadness over realizing that her son moved on to the next phase of his life and being a bit taken aback that she was asking for a table for 3 instead of 4. I'm a mom to a young child and I can imagine having that same sad pang when my kid eventually leaves the house. It doesn't mean that I'm going to show up at his dorm at night playing In Your Eyes on a boombox outside his window.

Thank you for this imagery, PP! I’m feeling low today and that made me snort-laugh.
-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Did you see the mother of the 22/24-year-old's with the Pinterest account focused on toddlers?

https://www.pinterest.com/divaviva/the-art-of-being-a-mom/

It's creepy. Do these women not have lives outside of their grown adult kids? Will they cease to exist with no children in their lives?


Wait. This is the mother of the Dayton shooter. The art of being a mom.


Wait waht??

Appears to be. Same last name, kids Connor and Megan. Both dead.

He evidently had a kill list and rape list of girls in his HS.

Disgusting. Parents that coddle their boys and raise them with a princely sense of entitlement... STOP DOING THIS. Your precious baby boy needs rules, punishments, boundaries, to be told "no" often. Clearly this mom was caught up in the fetishizing of her own perfect children.

It's not a great thing to do for girls either, but girls generally don't lash out and kill others. Boys and young men do. Loving your kids doesn't mean smothering them. You have to teach them how to deal with disappointment and rejection and failure.

Dads too, but I think a lot of dads shrug their shoulders and let mama bear do her smothering thing.

Mental health is a lot more complicated than just issuing more punishments and no’s. In some cases, that could make their mental health worse.

Boundaries and discipline makes mental health issues worse?

Bullsh!t. That's exactly the kind of thing parents of killers like Adam Lanza said - just leave him be. That's exactly the kind of attitude that leads to entitled boys and men to violently lash out.

Adam Lanza was severely mentally ill- it was not caused by lenient parenting. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so, because they
must be extremely rare. never met one in real life, or on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pinterest page is weird, but maybe she is living in the past because her adult son is a weirdo. She had to have known her son got kicked out of school for creating a rape/kill list and was in some sort of graphic violence/porno band.

She probably clings onto memories of the toddler/little kid years before her son became a lunatic.

I’m tired of all the “blame the mom” rhetoric when a grown man makes horrible decisions.

Whoever had the most control over his early environment is the one who is most responsible. Sure, once in a blue moon it’s the father.

What? This is insane and at the same time s convenient way to excuse men from any responsibility here.

[Anonymous]

She lost me at Red Robin

[Anonymous]

As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember the first time we went out to eat after my oldest left for college. I didn’t cry. But it was a really sad feeling. Of course we had eaten out without him many times. But asking for a table for six instead of seven felt so strange because he wasn’t out with friends. He was no longer living with us. For months I caught myself accident setting too many places at our table after each kid left.

It’s hard, my friends.

I'm 54 and the youngest of three. A few weeks ago when we were home for my father's funeral, my mother recalled for the umpteenth time how they felt the day they dropped off for college in 1983. They were sad and after they dropped me and my things off, they left. After a couple of blocks they were worried I was not going to make friends, so they circled the block and pulled back up to a space where they could see the courtyard in front of my dorm. They saw me standing there in a group of several other kids and I was happily making new friends. They felt so relieved but melancholy and drove off. Mom said that they had a hard time going home alone just the two of them. I can imagine that going to dinner that evening on the way home was going to be hard.

The big difference was that my mom didn't make a huge deal about her loss. She didn't blog about it and broadcast it to the world. But it did become a staple of family story sharing over the last 36 years. And it was one of her cherished memories that she told the day we laid my father to rest.

It's a hard and emotional situation, but a personal one. The only thing unusual was not that the Red Robin mom felt this way, but that she turned it into a huge life-changing moment that had to be blogged about. She blew it out of proportion. That doesn't mean that it isn't a hard and emotional situation to deal with; especially for the first and the last child. It's hard for all of your children, but for the first one, it's the first time you have to deal with it. For the last one, it truly signals the empty nest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

The obit was really creepy. Talking about his smile and how he like to read Harry Potter? Like he wasn't a mass murderer, and killed his own sister? And then directed to where donations in lieu of flowers should be made? Who in their right mind would want to send flowers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

The obit was really creepy. Talking about his smile and how he like to read Harry Potter? Like he wasn't a mass murderer, and killed his own sister? And then directed to where donations in lieu of flowers should be made? Who in their right mind would want to send flowers?

Probably most mass killers had mothers who were “in love” with their boys in a very sick way. I’m thinking Adam Lanza’s mother. And the Columbine mother who recently wrote a book....

These women worship their boys and gave them anything they could.

Beware of women who put their boys on pedestals, and make endless excuses for their boys’ bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

The obit was really creepy. Talking about his smile and how he like to read Harry Potter? Like he wasn't a mass murderer, and killed his own sister? And then directed to where donations in lieu of flowers should be made? Who in their right mind would want to send flowers?

Probably most mass killers had mothers who were “in love” with their boys in a very sick way. I’m thinking Adam Lanza’s mother. And the Columbine mother who recently wrote a book....

These women worship their boys and gave them anything they could.

Beware of women who put their boys on pedestals, and make endless excuses for their boys’ bad behavior.

Yet again, women are blamed for male behavior.

These males either A. Knew right from wrong, and chose to commit a wrong of their own accord or B. Did not understand right from wrong, in which case they have a mental illness that goes way beyond mommy not saying no enough.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of parents are nuts these days.

I just found out a friend if mine when to eat lunch with her son at school. Every day. For 6 grades

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if you didn't need more proof that constantly doting parents (particularly of boys) are part of the problem, the Dayton mass shooter's family described the shooter as: "funny, articulate and intelligent" in his obituary. Not mentioning that he killed his own sister.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7356369/Dayton-mass-shooters-family-publish-obituary-calling-Connor-Betts-kind-not-mentioning-murders.html

The obit was really creepy. Talking about his smile and how he like to read Harry Potter? Like he wasn't a mass murderer, and killed his own sister? And then directed to where donations in lieu of flowers should be made? Who in their right mind would want to send flowers?

Probably most mass killers had mothers who were “in love” with their boys in a very sick way. I’m thinking Adam Lanza’s mother. And the Columbine mother who recently wrote a book....

These women worship their boys and gave them anything they could.

Beware of women who put their boys on pedestals, and make endless excuses for their boys’ bad behavior.

Yet again, women are blamed for male behavior.

These males either A. Knew right from wrong, and chose to commit a wrong of their own accord or B. Did not understand right from wrong, in which case they have a mental illness that goes way beyond mommy not saying no enough.

Are you coddling your boy? If so, you are crippling him. Please stop. The consequences could be devastating.

If he doesn't obey and respect you, he won't respect other girls/women, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember the first time we went out to eat after my oldest left for college. I didn’t cry. But it was a really sad feeling. Of course we had eaten out without him many times. But asking for a table for six instead of seven felt so strange because he wasn’t out with friends. He was no longer living with us. For months I caught myself accident setting too many places at our table after each kid left.

It’s hard, my friends.

I'm 54 and the youngest of three. A few weeks ago when we were home for my father's funeral, my mother recalled for the umpteenth time how they felt the day they dropped off for college in 1983. They were sad and after they dropped me and my things off, they left. After a couple of blocks they were worried I was not going to make friends, so they circled the block and pulled back up to a space where they could see the courtyard in front of my dorm. They saw me standing there in a group of several other kids and I was happily making new friends. They felt so relieved but melancholy and drove off. Mom said that they had a hard time going home alone just the two of them. I can imagine that going to dinner that evening on the way home was going to be hard.

The big difference was that my mom didn't make a huge deal about her loss. She didn't blog about it and broadcast it to the world. But it did become a staple of family story sharing over the last 36 years. And it was one of her cherished memories that she told the day we laid my father to rest.

It's a hard and emotional situation, but a personal one. The only thing unusual was not that the Red Robin mom felt this way, but that she turned it into a huge life-changing moment that had to be blogged about. She blew it out of proportion. That doesn't mean that it isn't a hard and emotional situation to deal with; especially for the first and the last child. It's hard for all of your children, but for the first one, it's the first time you have to deal with it. For the last one, it truly signals the empty nest.

When my DH and I drop our youngest at college next week we will be empty nesters for the first time and I can’t wait! I both love and like my two kids very much and will miss them, but I am ready for this next chapter of our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of parents are nuts these days.

I just found out a friend if mine when to eat lunch with her son at school. Every day. For 6 grades