DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Really surprised by all the people saying to go. It isn't just the naps that are the issue (which yes we can divide and conquer). With all of the other kids being so much older and a bit more flexible, dinner tends to be late vs. early and some of the activities just aren't great for a 1 year old like multi-hour boat trips (which I know they do almost daily), fishing, hiking, etc.

Unfortunately the baby does not nap well (or at all) in the stroller/carrier. She needs to be somewhere dark and quiet or won't sleep for more than 20 minutes and is a disaster. We have tried it many times. We do push her sometimes when we are home, but not for like 7 days straight. A cranky overtired baby is not fun for anyone to deal with for multiple days while on a trip.

Yes, so you could trade whole days if there are trips — it might still be fun, no? And maybe find a sitter to sit in the guest house once baby is asleep. You could join the other folks in the bigger house for dinner.

+1. Also how far is the guest house from the main house? My baby monitor would easily cover something just right next door. And as a maine resident I can tell you its safe as can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't think of a vacation that would be better with a one-year-old than this, frankly.

+100000. Plus at one this is when you need to start taking off the baby gloves and pushing their comfort boundaries a little, otherwise they'll be 5 year olds that can't go on vacation.

But we are the type that drag our kids all over and just deal if there's a bad day here and there. My kids sleep on the go and have learned to miss the occasional nap (and just because you push your baby 1 or 2 days doesn't mean you need to make her skip the nap 7 days in a row!). But they weren't like that naturally. They were like that because we just kept doing it and they adjusted.

[Anonymous]

You have all types of excuses op.

[Anonymous]

1) Use a baby monitor
2) If a baby monitor doesn't reach the guest house, ask to swap and stay in the big house
3) People with 5 year olds don't eat late, OP. And 5 year olds also go to bed early.


Bottom line -- this could be a great trip if you are willing to make it one. But you sound like you don't want to go at all for reasons that may be separate from your kid.

[Anonymous]

Don't travel with a 1yo. Husband is nuts.

[Anonymous]

We went to Maine when our son was 7 months! We rented a house with family, including his cousin who was 5 months! We made it work!

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you don’t want to go. My DH, my one year old and I will gladly go in your place. Sounds like actual heaven.

PS, I have vague memories of trips when I was five. Make this happen for your older child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't travel with a 1yo. Husband is nuts.

Husband isn’t the one who is nuts.... but have fun staying home all the time.

[Anonymous]

Op simply doesn't want to go.

We have 4 kids, and I've spent my fair share of time behind with the little one. We went to our friends' lake house every summer, and I hung out at the house/in the yard with the younger ones while everyone else went tubing or jet skiing. NBD. I enjoyed reading or watching Netflix on my phone while little ones napped. I enjoyed bathing the little ones and doing the bedtime routine while the men did the dishes/cleaned the kitchen.

Now that my kids are older and don't nap, I actually miss having the excuse to just chill out with the little ones. Enjoy it while you can. Being out on the boat for hours isn't as much fun as laying on a chaise lounge in the sun while the baby naps.

[Anonymous]

Your friends invited you and i assume they know you have a one year old.
They are willing to make this work, it is you who is not wanting to. Just own that and stop using your baby as an excuse.
There are so many ways you can make this not only work but be fun for everyone involved. You just don't want to.

[Anonymous]

I agree it doesn’t sound like fun. Could your toddler transition to 1 nap? Can you and husband talk about swapping days with the napping child? What kind of boat - any chance of a nap there?

[Anonymous]

You have two kids op, is your older kid supposed to never have any fun because you waited that long to have another kid?!
All we are hearing is baby and me, what about your older child? Why is he punished to having a younger sibling? When he is a preteen what else will he miss out on since younger sibling is too young for camping, hiking, skiing, etc??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friends invited you and i assume they know you have a one year old.
They are willing to make this work, it is you who is not wanting to. Just own that and stop using your baby as an excuse.
There are so many ways you can make this not only work but be fun for everyone involved. You just don't want to.

I agree the friends’ intentions were good, but once your youngest is 4/4 and not napping or can skip a nap, you totally forget what 1yr olds are like. They want OP to come with a toddler but haven’t thought through the reality of scheduled. That or the friends know how hard a toddler will be and invited you to be polite thinking you would say no.

[Anonymous]

Just an idea Op - is there a family member you can leave the baby with for a few days while you are in Maine?

[Anonymous]

You don't forget about what babies need when your kids magically turn 4!
My youngest is in school and i now babies need naps, to eat at random times, have tantrums, etc.
If i invited a friend with a baby i would know and expect that the baby's needs would come first.
Who are you people who would ditch friends just because they have a baby? If the friends didn't want them there they wouldn't have invited them. It sounds like this is the first invite they received. Why now if they weren't actually wanted?

OP just doesn't want to go and is making up every excuse in the book. First the baby needs to eat. Then it needs to sleep. But not just sleep anywhere, no. It needs super dark, super quiet, super NON Maine, non fun type sleep.

Seriously. Just say to DH "Listen, this does not sound fun and I don't want to go". There. Unfair to your poor kids to be the reasons why you can't do fun things. They are not the problem, OP is.