Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

[Anonymous]

To clarify: DMV plantation weddings where other black couples married.

A lot of other events and receptions held in plantations by all races that I’ve attended. The race of the waitstaff doesn’t stand out to me - it is socially diverse here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

Who is this "we"? Nobody alive did that. Fck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married 20 years ago, which is almost a generation ago. My DH and i got married in a church and had our reception at Gunston Hall Plantation (George Mason's home.) I wanted a unique location. Also, I majored in History in college and liked the idea of celebrating my marriage in a historic, Virginia location. Back then, most of my friends were having receptions in hotel ballrooms and I wanted something different. The reception was not held in the home but in their museum, which is a modern building. We did take photos outside of his house and I have one of us standing in front of the house displayed prominently in my living room. The other aspect I really liked about the location is all of my guests received a guided tour of the house while we were taking photos. The thought of Mason owning slaves never entered my mind. I'm not sure if I would choose the same location today but he is a very prominent figure in our history.

Honestly, if you're white, you shouldn't be okay with this. It's white privilege to be able to pick and choose when we think about race and when we put it out of our mind, and this is all the more significant when we are talking about a building specifically constructed to profit off of the horrors of slavery. It's natural but something to be mindful about it.

Is it? Or is it just focusing on a wedding instead of guilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

No. We can feel bad about the land "we" stole (my people stole nothing since we were stolen, but that's another story...) and not romanticize the slavery era by holding a wedding at a plantation. But whatever white people, go ahead and do what you want which is what you always do anyway.

Thanks! I won't even think about your constant whining, either, since it bores me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

I think if you're a white person holding a wedding at the site of the Battle of Little Bighorn, sure. Or anywhere an Indian massacre took place. Or a sacred site for Native Americans. Or somewhere that is still a bone of contention between Native Americans and the whites who control it.

But come on. A plantation house where slaves were being whipped and sold off from family members 150 years ago? That is a tangible space where suffering happened. How can you be so dense?

Would you hold your wedding at the 9/11 memorial? Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

This

You honestly don't see the difference in someone *choosing* to hold a wedding on a plantation? Seriously? And considering it "romantic"? Come on.

No, I honestly do not. Do you view the Native Americans as lesser than everyone else or something? Because you seem to have no qualms about sticking your head in the sand about the land you live on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

No. We can feel bad about the land "we" stole (my people stole nothing since we were stolen, but that's another story...) and not romanticize the slavery era by holding a wedding at a plantation. But whatever white people, go ahead and do what you want which is what you always do anyway.

Thanks! I won't even think about your constant whining, either, since it bores me.

Haha same, different poster.

[Anonymous]

This all comes down to circle of life and awareness. Like how most "third-world" nations were made "third-world" by first-world colonizers who raped the countries & their inhabitants, and now graciously offer loans to rebuild using money the colonizers stole in the first place. The whole cycle is sick. But all we can do is recognize rights and wrongs, and make choices that are better, one step at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

Who is this "we"? Nobody alive did that. Fck off.

Nobody alive had plantation slaves

[Anonymous]

Not good. Plus why start your married life at a place with such terrible history?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

If you're getting married in America, you have to chose a venue that takes place on stolen land. That is no reason to justify closing a plantation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m personally ok with it but you have to decide how you feel.

We are all living on land we violently took from Native Americans and we don’t let that bother us enough not to do it.

This is the truest statement in this entire thread. If you complain about plantations, you better complain about every inch of soil you step on day to day. Cause guess what, you’re just as guilty.

No. We can feel bad about the land "we" stole (my people stole nothing since we were stolen, but that's another story...) and not romanticize the slavery era by holding a wedding at a plantation. But whatever white people, go ahead and do what you want which is what you always do anyway.

Thanks! I won't even think about your constant whining, either, since it bores me.

Haha same, different poster.

Goodness, the racism here is thick.

[Anonymous]

We could tear down all the old plantation houses. Or we could use them for something better.