When did your June birthday boy start school? How do you feel about it now that he is older?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. This is kind of ridiculous. Don’t red-shirt.

OP here. I was a teacher. The boy summer birthdays were almost always obvious! I could tell who had a summer birthday before even checking the roster.

I do not want him to be the last to turn 16/18/21. That is why I am asking the teen forum. I want to know how the boys are doing down the road.

I hate for him to be the last birthday, and to have girls/boys with birthdays in October. They'll be 9 months older than him and that is a LOT.

It sounds like you should hold him back for your needs and wishes. But, be prepared to have him ask why you had not confidence in him that he can do it. There are plenty of younger kids and the reason why there are not is because of parents like you. Send your kid to school on time.

I don't want him to be the last to turn 16, 18, or 21. How is that MY need or wish. I don't want him to have a hard time being the last birthday. I think there's a chance he could resent me for sending him "late", but it is more likely that he'll have hardships for being so young.

First of all, with a JUNE birthday he won't be anywhere near the youngest in the class. Not even close. We have 3 kids in my son's class with late September birthdays. Second, you are forgetting the other side of the coin- that your son will now be the one whining because he's board in K because he's in an inappropriately young class for his age. You'll be on here bitching that things aren't advanced enough for him and, when he starts misbehaving, it's because they school is failing to challenge him.

And if that's not enough... when he's in high school and he and all his friends get caught doing something stupid, they'll all wind up getting their parents called while he, being 18, gets to go right to jail. Enjoy!

+1 If OP is a teacher, OP should know this already. Kids who are bored in class talk a lot, and kids who are academically way more advanced than their peers in class get bored pretty easily, finish their work early, and so they talk to other kids.

This is such BS. Some of those kids have behavior issues plain and simple, but their parents right it off as 'he's such a Genius so he gets in trouble because he is sooooooo bored'. My kid have had a bunch of kids like that in their GT classes over their years and 99% of them had parents that never properly disciplined and also were the kids with unfettered screen time. My kids found things to do when they were done ahead of schedule---quietly read at their desks, made comic strips, etc. They knew not to disrupt the entire class.

Sure some might, but many are just really bored after finishing their worksheets in 5 min. Most boys are quiet. Much harder for them to sit still. I have one of each, both summer kids, both went to school on time.

[Anonymous]

^sorry MOST BOYS AREN'T QUIET

[Anonymous]

Started K at age 5. Graduated HS just before his 18th birthday. Is now a successful 26 year old. You guys worry too much.

[Anonymous]

I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

[Anonymous]

I did not hold my DS back and he has a late September birthday. He's a senior in high school and I do not have regrets.

He has plenty of peers with August and September birthdays who were not held back. Actually his only friend who was red shirted will turn 19 before HS graduation and that seems considerably more outlandish than sending a 5 year old boy to Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

Except you holding back your non developmentally delayed child does impact the other kids in the class. Don't kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not hold my DS back and he has a late September birthday. He's a senior in high school and I do not have regrets.

He has plenty of peers with August and September birthdays who were not held back. Actually his only friend who was red shirted will turn 19 before HS graduation and that seems considerably more outlandish than sending a 5 year old boy to Kindergarten.

Or being 15 and still in MS. Or 12 and in ES. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

But in the case of redshirting, it affects everyone else's kids, too. The total age spread in a class is no longer one full year minus a day but more like 15 to 18 months. Most of us don't want kids 18 months older than our kid in their class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

But in the case of redshirting, it affects everyone else's kids, too. The total age spread in a class is no longer one full year minus a day but more like 15 to 18 months. Most of us don't want kids 18 months older than our kid in their class.

Thank you. What you think will be “best” for your kid has an impact on a lot of other people.

OP keeps saying that she doesn’t want her kid to be nine months younger than the oldest kids, so her solution is...to ensure that some kid in the class is 15 months younger than her boy giant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

Except you holding back your non developmentally delayed child does impact the other kids in the class. Don't kid yourself.

I’m. It kidding myself but I did what’s best for my son and I’m sorry if that offends you that I didnt take your kids into consideration. I find it offensive that yuh think I have to sacrifice what’s best for my kid to help out all the other kids. No. Not for this, and probably not for other things either. And don’t try to kid yourself and lie to me that you would do anything different if you truly thought this was what your child needed.

[Anonymous]

People will just think he’s slow—especially when they get invited to his bday parties and see his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not hold my DS back and he has a late September birthday. He's a senior in high school and I do not have regrets.

He has plenty of peers with August and September birthdays who were not held back. Actually his only friend who was red shirted will turn 19 before HS graduation and that seems considerably more outlandish than sending a 5 year old boy to Kindergarten.

Or being 15 and still in MS. Or 12 and in ES. Yikes.

This makes no sense. Many 6th graders are 12 years old. Our neighbors sons birthday is on the first week of October and he is one of the oldest in the class. What’s wrong in that??

[Anonymous]

My August birthday boy went to kindergarten at age 5. He is no genius, just an average guy, he did absolutely fine all through school. Now he's in his 40s and still doing fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I held back my late June birthday DS. Zero regrets. There is no universal rule and each family should do what works for them. People get all upset about other people’s choices (SAH vs Working for pay, public vs private, redshirting bs going on time). Just worry about yourself.

But in the case of redshirting, it affects everyone else's kids, too. The total age spread in a class is no longer one full year minus a day but more like 15 to 18 months. Most of us don't want kids 18 months older than our kid in their class.

Most of us don't want kids who come from homes where the parents cannot do basic math. *shrug*

[Anonymous]

It is very kid-dependent, but June is pretty early in the year to be considering redshirting.

I have a mid-September boy. He started K at 4, turned 5 a couple of weeks later. Youngest in his class. Redshirted kids are 13-16 months older than him.

It's been fine. We do notice the age gap sometimes, especially during those big transition years. He's now in 6th grade and some kids are definitely starting to physically develop more than he is. We've found some lack of maturity relative to his grade-peers I'm sure he'll hate us when he's the last one in his class to start driving, the last one in his college class to buy beer. It's not causing any real problems, just the little things that Moms obsess over and nobody else (even the kid) really even notices.

He's doing well in school, AAP, good grades, etc. He's made good friends. He's not a sports star, but frankly I doubt he would be even if he weren't the youngest in his grade. He's found his niche activities, loves school, loves a couple of specific athletic endeavors, and is generally a very happy kid.

TL/DR version: there's no perfect answer, but I'm happy with the choice we made 6 years ago to start him on time. I have another child at the other extreme - October birthday - and for him, it really worked out well to start nearly a year later.