When did your June birthday boy start school? How do you feel about it now that he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. This is kind of ridiculous. Don’t red-shirt.

OP here. I was a teacher. The boy summer birthdays were almost always obvious! I could tell who had a summer birthday before even checking the roster.

I do not want him to be the last to turn 16/18/21. That is why I am asking the teen forum. I want to know how the boys are doing down the road.

I hate for him to be the last birthday, and to have girls/boys with birthdays in October. They'll be 9 months older than him and that is a LOT.

It sounds like you should hold him back for your needs and wishes. But, be prepared to have him ask why you had not confidence in him that he can do it. There are plenty of younger kids and the reason why there are not is because of parents like you. Send your kid to school on time.

I don't want him to be the last to turn 16, 18, or 21. How is that MY need or wish. I don't want him to have a hard time being the last birthday. I think there's a chance he could resent me for sending him "late", but it is more likely that he'll have hardships for being so young.

First of all, with a JUNE birthday he won't be anywhere near the youngest in the class. Not even close. We have 3 kids in my son's class with late September birthdays. Second, you are forgetting the other side of the coin- that your son will now be the one whining because he's board in K because he's in an inappropriately young class for his age. You'll be on here bitching that things aren't advanced enough for him and, when he starts misbehaving, it's because they school is failing to challenge him.

And if that's not enough... when he's in high school and he and all his friends get caught doing something stupid, they'll all wind up getting their parents called while he, being 18, gets to go right to jail. Enjoy!

+1 If OP is a teacher, OP should know this already. Kids who are bored in class talk a lot, and kids who are academically way more advanced than their peers in class get bored pretty easily, finish their work early, and so they talk to other kids.

[Anonymous]

My DD is late August bday and went to K "on time"- just days after turning 5.

She is now a freshman in college. She was not reading chapter books in K, actually she didn't read chapter books until late 2nd grade.

However, even though she struggled a little academically initially, she learned how to handle a struggle. She excelled as she got older and is doing very well her first year in college.

Socially, she was rather typical as a 5 year old and always had friends. In some areas she was less mature than others and others much more mature. She went through puberty a bit on the early side, so being with some older kids was a bit of a blessing.

Driving wasn't an issue. I was thrilled she wasn't the first to get her license and she was by no means the last. Many of her friends waited a year or took a long time with their permits.

She did head to college just prior to her 18th birthday. This lead to a few challenges in that she couldn't open a bank account or sign certain documents without a cosigner. I also had to be sure she was able to access medical and insurance information when it automatically flipped on her birthday, which was slightly harder from a distance. But, I was able to show her ahead of time and then when it happened she knew what to do.

You should really think about the implications of being one of the first to hit puberty, turn 16/18/21. For us as parents, we much preferred being on the later end.

Do you want to have the first driver? The one everyone is asking for a ride? To be the parents who have to enforce the no other teens in the car w/ a new driver before others consider it?

Do you want one of the first kids to be 21 and legal drinking age? Do you want your DS to be asked to buy classmates alcohol? The ramifications for buying fur underage drinkers is typically worse than being the underage drinker.

Do you want your son to potentially be one of the first to go through puberty? (maybe this isn't as much of an issue for boys as girls).

Anyway, there are some benefits both as the parent and the student/child to watching others navigate some of these "milestones" before you.

Make the decision based on the information you have today. If you son is ready for school, send him to school. Don't make him wait so he won't be the "last" to hit later milestones. Instead he'll be the last to go to school and may lose some of his tenacity, curiosity and excitement about learning that currently exists. Deal with the rest as it comes.

[Anonymous]

If your child is exceptionally bright, do not hold him back. He will be bored and will act out in class, amplifying whatever social immaturity he may already exhibit. If he is an average student, then listen to your preschool teachers. The PP who said not to listen probably didn't have experienced preschool teachers for her kids--my kids' preschool teachers have been teaching for 20 years + and their experience having ushered hundreds of kids from preschool to K was invaluable for me. Both of my kids ended up at so-called "Big 3" private schools with summer birthdays and started on time. They were a little immature socially in K-2, but by upper elementary school you could not tell that they were among the youngest in their classes. By MS, the kids who struggled academically were counseled out, and this happened regardless of how old or how young the kids were. The kids who were young actually fared the best in HS--they did not run around with the "fast" crowd, seemed to be more enthusiastic about their hobbies/ECs, and did very well academically.

[Anonymous]

June DS is now in 9th grade. He is exceptionally bright, but also socially immature. Even back when he was 5, this was apparent.

Dx at 6.5 was ADHD. Then anxiety dx at age 11. I wish we had held him back, as it would have given him a bit more time to cope with these issues that aren’t typically diagnosed until elementary age or later. On the other hand, we moved abroad a few yrs ago, and he just barely made the cutoff for starting middle school - meaning that was able to deal with just one school transition and not two different ones back-to-back.

It’s common where we are to have kids 1, and even 2 years older in each grade because of the foreign language component. The age gap between DS and these kids is huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The redshirting of boys gets crazy. My DS is an early September birthday, and he actually started kindergarten 2 days before he turned 5. There are boys in his class that are almost 2 years older than he is. My DS is physically big, so other parents are shocked to find out his age (when we can't sign him up for the same summer camp due to age range, for example). He's only in 4th, so we have to see how this all plays out in middle & high school - but I suspect he will be fine.

We have an exactly the same age kid/situation. Your post makes no sense that you cannot sign up your kid for summer camp. Usually they have age ranges but it is that they passed XXX grade. So, one camp we have says 10+ but successfully pass 4th, so its no issue mine is 9 the summer before turning 10.

Every camp handles it differently. The camp in question required a kid to be 10 years old by the date of the camp, and my son will be 9 years, 10 months. The system won't allow registration unless those conditions were met.

[Anonymous]

DS is a senior at Wilson HS and has a mid July birthday. We sent him on time, and I don’t regret it a bit.

[Anonymous]

Barring a true issue (e.g., learning, emotional. developmental disabilities), send your June bday boy to school on time.

I don't quite get the concern about having "the last birthday". My July 31 bday DD has nearly always had the last birthday in her class and it's not an issue whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is late August bday and went to K "on time"- just days after turning 5.

She is now a freshman in college. She was not reading chapter books in K, actually she didn't read chapter books until late 2nd grade.

However, even though she struggled a little academically initially, she learned how to handle a struggle. She excelled as she got older and is doing very well her first year in college.

Socially, she was rather typical as a 5 year old and always had friends. In some areas she was less mature than others and others much more mature. She went through puberty a bit on the early side, so being with some older kids was a bit of a blessing.

Driving wasn't an issue. I was thrilled she wasn't the first to get her license and she was by no means the last. Many of her friends waited a year or took a long time with their permits.

She did head to college just prior to her 18th birthday. This lead to a few challenges in that she couldn't open a bank account or sign certain documents without a cosigner. I also had to be sure she was able to access medical and insurance information when it automatically flipped on her birthday, which was slightly harder from a distance. But, I was able to show her ahead of time and then when it happened she knew what to do.

You should really think about the implications of being one of the first to hit puberty, turn 16/18/21. For us as parents, we much preferred being on the later end.

Do you want to have the first driver? The one everyone is asking for a ride? To be the parents who have to enforce the no other teens in the car w/ a new driver before others consider it?

Do you want one of the first kids to be 21 and legal drinking age? Do you want your DS to be asked to buy classmates alcohol? The ramifications for buying fur underage drinkers is typically worse than being the underage drinker.

Do you want your son to potentially be one of the first to go through puberty? (maybe this isn't as much of an issue for boys as girls).

Anyway, there are some benefits both as the parent and the student/child to watching others navigate some of these "milestones" before you.

Make the decision based on the information you have today. If you son is ready for school, send him to school. Don't make him wait so he won't be the "last" to hit later milestones. Instead he'll be the last to go to school and may lose some of his tenacity, curiosity and excitement about learning that currently exists. Deal with the rest as it comes.

All very good well-stated points!

I wanted to mention to the highlighted, this used to be the case regularly. When I was a MoCo schools student back in the dark ages, the cut off was Dec. 31. A quarter of the kids started K before turning 5, and a quarter started college before turning 18. Those were actually some of the more emotionally mature students who did very well in school and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is in first grade and has a June birthday. Out of 26 kids, she's the SECOND youngest. It hasn't been a problem, really - she's bright and on par socially. It's just crazy that the first week of school (late August), when my daughter had been 6 for all of 8 weeks, we went to three 7 year old bday parties (all for girls). Cut off for our private is October 30, so just shocking that no one seems to send their kids at 5 anymore. The difference between a newly 6 year old girl and a newly 7 year old girl was pretty stark to me, but I imagine that will change as they age.

This is helpful and exactly what I am wondering. I'm wondering what *most* people are doing. DCUM is vehemently opposed to red shirting but I do not know what is actually happening in schools now.

I think you should try to get information about your particular school/community. If you're going for private school it's one thing - I've read several places, including in this thread, that private school students (like PP's daughter) are more likely to have been held back. My son is in first grade at a public school in northern Virginia and there were several summer and September birthdays after or around (like within a couple of weeks prior) of his. I know of three boys who were held back, one an early July birthday and one a late September birthday, and one of those was for a diagnosed speech delay for which the child still receives speech therapy. Another was a kid who went to kindergarten on time, really struggled and his parents chose to have him repeat kinder at a private program (he also receives speech therapy).

My point is, before my son started K I heard a lot about how "everyone" was redshirting their kids where we live but in my experience it is more of an aberration and for a reason that is specific to the child, not just a general desire to not be the youngest. I'm not sure these anecdotes on DCUM is going to give you a good idea of what is going on in the school your children will be attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here. This is kind of ridiculous. Don’t red-shirt.

OP here. I was a teacher. The boy summer birthdays were almost always obvious! I could tell who had a summer birthday before even checking the roster.

I do not want him to be the last to turn 16/18/21. That is why I am asking the teen forum. I want to know how the boys are doing down the road.

I hate for him to be the last birthday, and to have girls/boys with birthdays in October. They'll be 9 months older than him and that is a LOT.

It sounds like you should hold him back for your needs and wishes. But, be prepared to have him ask why you had not confidence in him that he can do it. There are plenty of younger kids and the reason why there are not is because of parents like you. Send your kid to school on time.

I don't want him to be the last to turn 16, 18, or 21. How is that MY need or wish. I don't want him to have a hard time being the last birthday. I think there's a chance he could resent me for sending him "late", but it is more likely that he'll have hardships for being so young.

First of all, with a JUNE birthday he won't be anywhere near the youngest in the class. Not even close. We have 3 kids in my son's class with late September birthdays. Second, you are forgetting the other side of the coin- that your son will now be the one whining because he's board in K because he's in an inappropriately young class for his age. You'll be on here bitching that things aren't advanced enough for him and, when he starts misbehaving, it's because they school is failing to challenge him.

And if that's not enough... when he's in high school and he and all his friends get caught doing something stupid, they'll all wind up getting their parents called while he, being 18, gets to go right to jail. Enjoy!

+1 If OP is a teacher, OP should know this already. Kids who are bored in class talk a lot, and kids who are academically way more advanced than their peers in class get bored pretty easily, finish their work early, and so they talk to other kids.

This is such BS. Some of those kids have behavior issues plain and simple, but their parents right it off as 'he's such a Genius so he gets in trouble because he is sooooooo bored'. My kid have had a bunch of kids like that in their GT classes over their years and 99% of them had parents that never properly disciplined and also were the kids with unfettered screen time. My kids found things to do when they were done ahead of schedule---quietly read at their desks, made comic strips, etc. They knew not to disrupt the entire class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:redshirting June? Seems crazy. I live in NY, where June is exactly middle of the pack (cutoff is end of the year).

Then you know that this is obviously a completely different scenario than a Sept 1 cutoff ,where a late June birthday will make you the youngest kid, not the middle of the pack. Not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you live in another part of the country where July 1 is the cutoff date for starting school? Here in DC-MD-VA the cut off is September 1, or it was when my child started school. Here, a June birthday is considered right near the middle so holding him back here wouldn't make sense.

I have an end of August birthday child (son) who is now in high school. He was ready to start his pre-K program in terms of showing signs of curiosity, and he was potty trained. So we started him with the age group he qualified for. But that put him on the school conveyor belt that I now can't get him off of even though it would make his life so much easier and better to stay back a year. It never occurred to me that we wouldn't be able to keep him in an extra year of elementary (he was in a Montessori program) unless he was seriously failing classes. It's almost like it was his bad fortune to be smart enough to just keep up, which is ridiculous.

And to the poster who wrote this:
"My first suggestion would be to LISTEN CLOSELY to what your child's preschool teacher says."

I disagree completely. Kindergarten teachers have no way to tell you the rate at which your child will develop and how puberty will unfold. All they can say is whether he might be a bit bored with paper cutouts or learning his colors for another year. But so what if he is?!

Look, a september 1 cutoff will never make a june kid "right near the middle". Everyone born in Sept Oct Nov Dec Jan Feb Mar Apr May will be older than him. Jul Aug will be younger. That's not the middle. Especially considering most of the Aug kids get redshirted.

[Anonymous]

I have two June birthdays and they are always either the youngest or among the youngest despite what the teacher says. The fact is, a lot of July -Sept boys (especially) do get red-shirted. We started on time and I have never regretted it or even thought about it, to be honest. I asked preschool teachers and they urged me to start them. I can't know ahead of time what will be going in middle school, so it seems strange to borrow trouble.

[Anonymous]

I don't know a lot of June b-days who redshirt unless the kid has serious developmental delays. That's not even close to any cutoff I've ever seen--most are early September or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:redshirting June? Seems crazy. I live in NY, where June is exactly middle of the pack (cutoff is end of the year).

Then you know that this is obviously a completely different scenario than a Sept 1 cutoff ,where a late June birthday will make you the youngest kid, not the middle of the pack. Not relevant.

Not THE youngest kid, by your logic clearly YOU know that that makes them about in the 25th%ile based on months. There could be later June, July and August kids in the mix.