Husbands are Expensive

[Anonymous]

Yep, it is remarkable what I can afford now that he's gone. Less money on alcohol. Electricity bill dropped because he wanted to run our hot tub all winter. I don't use it at all anymore and couldn't care less. No more direct TV because we have to have access to ALL the games. No more entire weekends of entertaining and feeding people, and food and drink, for football season. I also don't have to do his laundry! Yahoo.

I used to be responsible for all the housework and I'd get criticized for things he didn't like. I remember if there were any dirty dishes in the sink and he needed to use it, he'd take the dishes out of the sink, pile them up next to the sink, use the sink, and leave. Heaven forbid he wash the dang dishes.

There are some things that are harder when you're a divorced mom, but man are there some wins.

[Anonymous]

I'm a divorced guy engaged to a divorced woman. I am more high maintenance and spend more than her. I also probably spent more than my ex wife. Not exorbitantly so, but more. But I also think that one of the smartest things, at least financially, was find women for which this was true. I would guess that the variance among different males' expenditures is probably 20% that of females.

[Anonymous]

My husband isn’t expensive at all and probably helps to curb my overspending. Even with food, while he eats more than I do, he’s more likely to want to stay in (and he cooks), while I am more likely to go out, get take out, buy convenience foods, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord some of you are so defensive and sensitive little snowflakes aren't you? If you don't resemble the remark, don't worry about it. She wasn't ACTUALLY talking about you, you do realize that, right? She was only referring to her life and her husband's habits.

I can't believe I had to type that out for some of you.

Thank you! Voice of reason right here.

That’s not the voice of reason. OP made a sweeping generalization and probably expected a ton of people to post and validate her. It would be like if I complained about how husbands love to fill the DVR so full with curling during the Winter Olympics that it erases the rest of the family’s recordings, amiright? But no, those aren’t generally stereotypes that apply to most husbands. In fact, guys disliking shopping is a commonly accepted stereotype which would imply that husbands aren’t as expensive as wives.

If OP doesn’t want everyone to argue with her sweeping generalizations, she needs to say things like “my ex husband was expensive” or “wow, I’m saving so much money on food after my divorce.” Those don’t imply she thinks all husbands do those things, and not as many posters will read it and feel the need to share their experiences that are at odds with OP’s title.

Back to the OP’s point, my DH likes expensive dinners but he takes a sandwich for lunch and eats cereal every morning for breakfast. He hates to eat out. He likes meat at dinner, which does make meals more expensive, but overall I wouldn’t say he adds more than the average person to our food bill. My teenagers, though, they eat everything. I’m constantly buying them food.

Do you lack critical thinking skills in all areas of life, or just here? She wasn't. speaking. to. you. No need to respond with what your husband eats every day. She wasn't actually speaking about you and your relationship.

Not PP, but she was. The title is literally “husbands are expensive.” Not “my husband was expensive.” She opened herself up to it. Talk about lacking critical thinking, moron.

OK, so lacking critical thinking for you too then. Good lord, what a nut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced for a year and I never realized before how much my DH spent or cost, particularly when it came to food. He always ate out for lunch $$, ate 3x what I do and always wanted meat, had to have the pricey cable package, etc. I am trying to find the bright side to this divorce and not spending so much is definitely a plus.

My ex-husband suffered from untreated ADHd and had zero planning skills and couldn’t even keep care of his clothes - let alone his car, house, kids or wife.

He was expensive. Besides broken appliances, garden hoses left out, car engines with no oil changes ever, generators, garage door openers, etc never maintained, his MO was to eat out every meal or do frozen pizzas after work. But eat out all weekend. Dessert every meal, cuz that’s what his dad liked. Never cleans his jeans or trousers so buys new ines (4-5 pair) every 12 mos instead. Same for loafers. Sweatshirts, etc just replaces his entire wardrobe every year since he can’t get stains out or understand why his huge iPhone rips his front pocket.

And of course, being late and never planning everything - gifts, trips, kids stuff, taxes, wardrobe- results in fees and higher prices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah cause there certainly aren’t any wives out there who spend $500+ on a handbag or a pair of shoes. What’s your point exactly?

Way to hit OP while she’s down.

Back off.

It was a perfectly reasonable response. Sorry I’m not going to encourage OP’s blatant self indulgence.

Sounds like OP touched on a sensitive subject for you. How many lbs overweight are you?

DP - I agree with the PP you're quoting.

and FTR, I'm 47 years old, 5'11", 178 lbs, 4 visible abs (working on the last two), very athletic and in shape, full head of black hair though graying slightly, salt and pepper beard (neatly trimmed - wife loves it). Happy to share more if you have any additional questions....

How much a month on that gym membership and gear?

a few years ago I bought a bunch of free weights (craigslist) for about $150 including a bench; power rack cost $120 (amazon); last year wife and I both wanted a new machine (cost $1500) though I use it much more than she does. I work out early mornings before the kids and DW get up, make breakfast and see three of them off before I take the youngest to school. work out gear - haven't bought much other than a dry fit shirt of two (always on sale).

[Anonymous]

Less broken things to repair or replace now that XDH is out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced for a year and I never realized before how much my DH spent or cost, particularly when it came to food. He always ate out for lunch $$, ate 3x what I do and always wanted meat, had to have the pricey cable package, etc. I am trying to find the bright side to this divorce and not spending so much is definitely a plus.

My ex-husband suffered from untreated ADHd and had zero planning skills and couldn’t even keep care of his clothes - let alone his car, house, kids or wife.

He was expensive. Besides broken appliances, garden hoses left out, car engines with no oil changes ever, generators, garage door openers, etc never maintained, his MO was to eat out every meal or do frozen pizzas after work. But eat out all weekend. Dessert every meal, cuz that’s what his dad liked. Never cleans his jeans or trousers so buys new ines (4-5 pair) every 12 mos instead. Same for loafers. Sweatshirts, etc just replaces his entire wardrobe every year since he can’t get stains out or understand why his huge iPhone rips his front pocket.

And of course, being late and never planning everything - gifts, trips, kids stuff, taxes, wardrobe- results in fees and higher prices.

And yet you probably think it says nothing about you that you married and had kids with such a total clusterfvck...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced for a year and I never realized before how much my DH spent or cost, particularly when it came to food. He always ate out for lunch $$, ate 3x what I do and always wanted meat, had to have the pricey cable package, etc. I am trying to find the bright side to this divorce and not spending so much is definitely a plus.

My ex-husband suffered from untreated ADHd and had zero planning skills and couldn’t even keep care of his clothes - let alone his car, house, kids or wife.

He was expensive. Besides broken appliances, garden hoses left out, car engines with no oil changes ever, generators, garage door openers, etc never maintained, his MO was to eat out every meal or do frozen pizzas after work. But eat out all weekend. Dessert every meal, cuz that’s what his dad liked. Never cleans his jeans or trousers so buys new ines (4-5 pair) every 12 mos instead. Same for loafers. Sweatshirts, etc just replaces his entire wardrobe every year since he can’t get stains out or understand why his huge iPhone rips his front pocket.

And of course, being late and never planning everything - gifts, trips, kids stuff, taxes, wardrobe- results in fees and higher prices.

And yet you probably think it says nothing about you that you married and had kids with such a total clusterfvck...

Divorce rate for ADHD men is high and very teal. They hit a wall once they have more than 1 or two things on their plate, ie work and eat.

Clusterfvck indeed.

Get out of there and let Darwin take over.