Husbands are Expensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)

This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.

Nope. I make 66% of the HHI but cover more than 66% of the expenses. She is disproportionately expensive.

Also, I do more than my share of the domestic work, so if we got divorced, she'd be worse off on that front, too.

I don’t know. The things the OP mentioned would be family expenses, not personal expenses. You might be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord some of you are so defensive and sensitive little snowflakes aren't you? If you don't resemble the remark, don't worry about it. She wasn't ACTUALLY talking about you, you do realize that, right? She was only referring to her life and her husband's habits.

I can't believe I had to type that out for some of you.

Thank you! Voice of reason right here.

That’s not the voice of reason. OP made a sweeping generalization and probably expected a ton of people to post and validate her. It would be like if I complained about how husbands love to fill the DVR so full with curling during the Winter Olympics that it erases the rest of the family’s recordings, amiright? But no, those aren’t generally stereotypes that apply to most husbands. In fact, guys disliking shopping is a commonly accepted stereotype which would imply that husbands aren’t as expensive as wives.

If OP doesn’t want everyone to argue with her sweeping generalizations, she needs to say things like “my ex husband was expensive” or “wow, I’m saving so much money on food after my divorce.” Those don’t imply she thinks all husbands do those things, and not as many posters will read it and feel the need to share their experiences that are at odds with OP’s title.

Back to the OP’s point, my DH likes expensive dinners but he takes a sandwich for lunch and eats cereal every morning for breakfast. He hates to eat out. He likes meat at dinner, which does make meals more expensive, but overall I wouldn’t say he adds more than the average person to our food bill. My teenagers, though, they eat everything. I’m constantly buying them food.

Do you lack critical thinking skills in all areas of life, or just here? She wasn't. speaking. to. you. No need to respond with what your husband eats every day. She wasn't actually speaking about you and your relationship.

Not PP, but she was. The title is literally “husbands are expensive.” Not “my husband was expensive.” She opened herself up to it. Talk about lacking critical thinking, moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Yes, I eat a lot of food. But I also buy most of the food and I do the cooking because I care the most about what food is served, when, and in what quantity.

Yep, my wife is a terrible cook and has no imagination in food. She thinks frozen lasagna is a treat. She can heat something up, but doesn't have a grip on cooking at all.

I love all these guys that cook! I would be happy to buy the groceries and do the dishes if DH cooked.

I cook every meal but I have to do the shopping. If you cook you want to pick out your ingredients. My wife will go to the store maybe once a year. Also I clean as I go(years of cooking in a small kitchen) and do the dishes.

[Anonymous]

husbands are expensive. My ex never paid attention to bills and ate out every meal. He was constantly in debt and never had a job. When I divorced it was so much easier to save money. My current husband is better with money but he wasn't always. In his 20s he had no concept of the stuff and did a horrible job with his finances. He is pretty open about how he had to learn how to manage money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah cause there certainly aren’t any wives out there who spend $500+ on a handbag or a pair of shoes. What’s your point exactly?

Way to hit OP while she’s down.

Back off.

It was a perfectly reasonable response. Sorry I’m not going to encourage OP’s blatant self indulgence.

Sounds like OP touched on a sensitive subject for you. How many lbs overweight are you?

DP - I agree with the PP you're quoting.

and FTR, I'm 47 years old, 5'11", 178 lbs, 4 visible abs (working on the last two), very athletic and in shape, full head of black hair though graying slightly, salt and pepper beard (neatly trimmed - wife loves it). Happy to share more if you have any additional questions....

How much a month on that gym membership and gear?

[Anonymous]

I am way more expensive than my DH!

[Anonymous]

Separated woman here. I am much happier now, both emotionally and financially, than when I lived with my ex.

I am a saver/investor. He seemed to have trouble managing his finances, and always had debt.

As the higher earner, I pay him child support (we have 50/50 custody). All is going well with co-parenting and the kids.

OP - I didn't mind so much that he spent more on food, but he had a beer habit that I thought was gross. Don't miss that. lol

[Anonymous]

Blah Blah Blah I won my league in Fantasy Football that paid out $1000! That new Taylor Made driver is less than that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much did he spend on makeup, beauty products, and getting his hair done?

Not PP but my H gets his hair cut every 2 weeks, has a beard which takes all kinds of oils, he buys products from Kiel and he spends way more than me on clothes (suits) and shoes.

I get my hair cut twice a year, use CVS products.

so he spends much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much did he spend on makeup, beauty products, and getting his hair done?

Actually my DH spends way more on getting constant haircuts and toiletries than I do. I get a haircut once a year. He gets a haircut every month. I don't wear much makeup and I don't pay to have my hair done.

If his haircuts cost $15 like mine do, then he probably does NOT spend more on his hair than you.

My H gets a haircut every 2 weeks, it's $20 with tip... you don't tip?

that's $600/year just for haircuts.

Way more than me.

he also needs to get his bearded trimmed sometimes... more $$$

[Anonymous]

Drop ESPN and RedZone... it will save you a bundle.

Sell all those tools he never used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah cause there certainly aren’t any wives out there who spend $500+ on a handbag or a pair of shoes. What’s your point exactly?

Way to hit OP while she’s down.

Back off.

It was a perfectly reasonable response. Sorry I’m not going to encourage OP’s blatant self indulgence.

Sounds like OP touched on a sensitive subject for you. How many lbs overweight are you?

DP - I agree with the PP you're quoting.

and FTR, I'm 47 years old, 5'11", 178 lbs, 4 visible abs (working on the last two), very athletic and in shape, full head of [b]hot air [/b, graying slightly, salt and pepper beard (neatly trimmed - wife loves it). Happy to share more if you have any additional questions....

Fixed it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much did he spend on makeup, beauty products, and getting his hair done?

Actually my DH spends way more on getting constant haircuts and toiletries than I do. I get a haircut once a year. He gets a haircut every month. I don't wear much makeup and I don't pay to have my hair done.

If his haircuts cost $15 like mine do, then he probably does NOT spend more on his hair than you.

My H gets a haircut every 2 weeks, it's $20 with tip... you don't tip?

that's $600/year just for haircuts.

Way more than me.

he also needs to get his bearded trimmed sometimes... more $$$

Meh. I didn't get my hair cut more than once a month back in the day, so that's $240 per year at $20 a pop. I know my wife gets her hair done once a month and it's over $100 each time. But since I shaved my head, my current haircut cost is effectively zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally speaking, after a divorce, the woman's standard of living declines, and the man's increases. That tells you that it is women who are the disproportionately expensive partner in the marriage, not men, generally speaking.

I'm already paying the mortgage and paying for day care and extracurriculars. If I got divorced, she'd have to pay her own mortgage, and she'd have to contribute to child care and extracurriculars as she does not currently do. As a result, I'd be better off and she'd be worse off. (This assumes 50/50 custody, of course.)

This just shows you that women earn less money than men. Usually because they are doing a disproportionate amount of unpaid domestic work.

That makes no sense. After the divorce, living in 2 different residences, unpaid domestic work is whatever he and she each decide it should be. Are you saying women choose to do lots of unnecessary domestic work? Because if it were necessary, he'd be doing same amount at his place.

No. I am saying that she will likely have a lower income because when children were born, she took on more of the child raising work and stepped back in the workforce.
The implication that women have a lower standard of living post divorce is because, despite earning the same income, they spend more on themselves is incorrect.

Women have to spend more on themselves after divorce because they no longer have a husband subsidizing them.

[Anonymous]

If the husband’s expenditures exceed the share of income he brings in, then he is “expensive”. If they don’t, then he’s not expensive, because he’s not costing you money.