My teen ranaway

[Anonymous]

Kids often run away because they don't want to follow the family rules about things like curfews or who they can date or other privileges. Sometimes it's bigger, like abuse. But teens, by definition, are immature and often make bad decisions. You can't assume anything about OP's parenting because her teen ran away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids often run away because they don't want to follow the family rules about things like curfews or who they can date or other privileges. Sometimes it's bigger, like abuse. But teens, by definition, are immature and often make bad decisions. You can't assume anything about OP's parenting because her teen ran away.

People don’t realize until they are in the thick of it with a child or grandchild. Adolescent brains are so irrational.

[Anonymous]

To those who are accusing this of being a fake post or trolling, I would say this:

Please consider that the stress OP is under is debilitating and she may not be in a place to answer all the questions and delve into the details of "what happened". Maybe OP just needs some empathy and positivity.

Sure, it's possible that this is a troll posting for some sort of twisted entertainment, but I have seen this situation in real life with friends and so I say treat it as real and offer what you can for others who may be in similar circumstances.

This forum is a valuable resource for parents, couples, and families who need advice on navigating modern married and family life so I hope this doesn't become a virtual reality/talk show of people trolling and flaming each other because I, for one, am grateful for the information and input I find here.

OP - I hope you are holding up. I am pulling for you and hoping that 2019 brings some healing and peace to your difficult situation.

In fact, I hope 2019 is a good year for us ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please finally post what you think your teen is unhappy about living in your home. Why did she run away?

OP - If I knew why the heck she is running away, don't you think she would not be ? I would find a solution to her problem. I don't know.

It’s your job to figure these things out. This is not the first time so you had plenty of time to figure it out or to avail yourself of various common resources such as social workers (for your family), her doctor and did you get her in to see a counselor after she ran away the first time?

Not OP, but you clearly have no clue what it is like to parent a troubled teen.

So - your idea is that she shouldn’t think at all about what is going on with her teen and try to fix things? Is that what the social worker says too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please finally post what you think your teen is unhappy about living in your home. Why did she run away?

OP - If I knew why the heck she is running away, don't you think she would not be ? I would find a solution to her problem. I don't know.

It’s your job to figure these things out. This is not the first time so you had plenty of time to figure it out or to avail yourself of various common resources such as social workers (for your family), her doctor and did you get her in to see a counselor after she ran away the first time?

Not OP, but you clearly have no clue what it is like to parent a troubled teen.

So - your idea is that she shouldn’t think at all about what is going on with her teen and try to fix things? Is that what the social worker says too?

My point is that you seem to think there are so many resources and there are not.

You seem to think that you can just get your kid in to see someone. And you can’t. The wait is long and that’s if you have at least $1500 a month to pay and time off from work during the day to take them weekly. If you’re relying on insurance and evening appointments, the wait can be six months.

You seem to think that once you get your kid in, your kid will talk or, if he or she doesn’t, the professionals will magically be able to figure out the problems.

Even if you do everything right your kid might still run away or self harm or kill themselves. For those of you who have never lived through it or haven’t known someone who trusted you enough to share their journey, it can be very difficult to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP please finally post what you think your teen is unhappy about living in your home. Why did she run away?

OP - If I knew why the heck she is running away, don't you think she would not be ? I would find a solution to her problem. I don't know.

This is an odd response. I have teens and they most certainly express when and why they aren't happy with something I do or say. Your DD has never said "you're curfew is unreasonable, you can't stop me from seeing my boyfriend, you badger me to do too many chores, you are too strict about what I wear....". She said nothing and then ran away, and preferred to be in a shelter rather than at home? Something isn't adding up. If this is real, you need to start thinking long and hard about what her issues with being at home are. How do you plan to resolve this if you have no clue about the underlying causes. Your DD doesn't have to be right and her thoughts don't have to be rational, but if you don't know what they are, you can't help her. I feel sad that your DD is out on her own. I hope she is safe. You need to not only consider what her feelings might be, but you also need to consider what your part in the dynamic that led to her running away was. You need to tackle this head on in parallel with trying to find her.

[Anonymous]

How old is she ? If older then 15 I would stop looking and let her be who she wants to be. If she is 12 well I guess keep looking but I wouldn’t look too hard. You can’t make her do anything. You bring her home and unless she is locked up she will just leave again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she ? If older then 15 I would stop looking and let her be who she wants to be. If she is 12 well I guess keep looking but I wouldn’t look too hard. You can’t make her do anything. You bring her home and unless she is locked up she will just leave again.

You guess you'd keep looking for a 12 year old but wouldn't look too hard? You're right you can't make her do anything, but you can get family and individual therapy and help her resolve her issues. What kind of person think you can just leave a twelve year old or even a 15 year old on the streets? Do you know how many predators there are out there? SMH.

[Anonymous]

OP here - she is still missing. This is becoming surreal now that the police cannot track her. She is on social media, yet, they cannot pinpoint her location. Unreal. My nerves are shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - she is still missing. This is becoming surreal now that the police cannot track her. She is on social media, yet, they cannot pinpoint her location. Unreal. My nerves are shot.

I’m the pp way back on the first page whose daughter ran away. Just wanted you to know that I’m holding your daughter and your family in love and prayer. I’m seeing her safe. And affirming that she will come home. My daughter called me completely out of the blue and asked if I could meet her at Starbucks. She would not tell me where she had been staying. I imagined the worst. I later found out that one of her friends’ moms helped hide her. She was living less than two miles from us.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP.

Have you talked to a private investigator? If she's using a cell phone, her location is trackable.

Have you called the FBI?

I hope this resolves for you soon with a good outcome. Take care.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry, OP. I hope you get some good news soon. And until then, I hope you have a good support system.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. I was hoping this was an update to let us know your DD was home. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP.

I can't imagine how hard this is for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, too. I was the teen runaway. I stayed gone for seven months. Hopefully your daughter returns home very soon. Please try to practice self care until that day comes. I, too, am praying for you and "seeing your daughter safe" in my prayers.