DD not invited to big party this weekend

[Anonymous]

Just had DS’s Bar Mitzvah. He has 50 kids in his class (private). We invited 10. Then he had other friends from outside activities. Oh, Plus I hate the T-shirt giveaway. We ended up giving away wireless Bluetooth earbuds. I thought that was better, because it’s not something that they’re going to have on them every day at school. Plus it was still a decent give away and went with the theme that my son picked out.

[Anonymous]

A hoodie is fine, a t shirt is fine, a water bottle is fine, my child has also gotten towels, candy, and, nothing. Whatever the family generously gives, you say thank you and move along. Way too much whining here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A hoodie is fine, a t shirt is fine, a water bottle is fine, my child has also gotten towels, candy, and, nothing. Whatever the family generously gives, you say thank you and move along. Way too much whining here.

The issue is not the generosity. The issue is the purposeful exclusion. If you want to give a hoodie, give a hoodie. Just don't give a hoodie that says "I was invited to Larlo's awesome Bar Mitzvah [and you're the schmuck who wasn't]"

[Anonymous]

I also really dislike the t-shirt/sweatshirt favor and did not do them for my kid’s mitzvah. It’s one thing if you invite the whole class or only a very small number of kids, but when a critical mass shows up wearing them (usually the same kids every time), it’s pretty crappy for the kids who are not invited. There are lots of other cool favors that aren’t so in the kids’ faces. https://www.kveller.com/why-i-wont-allow-my-kids-to-have-personalized-barbat-mitzvah-t-shirts/

[Anonymous]

It is not about exclusion - get over it. Your kid can't be friends with everybody (and if they were invited to all of them you all would probably complain about how expensive 7th grade is because they keep being invited to all these mitzvahs!). They will get t shirts or hoodies or whatever from the ones they go to, and won't from the ones they don't.

Our kids are at a public school with 350-400 kids per grade. NO WAY would I invite all those kids to anything, let alone something as special as a mitzvah. Clearly those of you in it for the party, who let your kids skip the service, have no idea how hard these kids work, how much effort goes into learning Hebrew, learning to chant Hebrew from the Torah, in front of a crowd of friends, family and strangers. The party is a celebration of a life cycle event of huge importance in a Jewish person's life. If you don't like it and think it's just a big party, either educate yourself, or just do everyone a favor, and skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not about exclusion - get over it. Your kid can't be friends with everybody (and if they were invited to all of them you all would probably complain about how expensive 7th grade is because they keep being invited to all these mitzvahs!). They will get t shirts or hoodies or whatever from the ones they go to, and won't from the ones they don't.

Our kids are at a public school with 350-400 kids per grade. NO WAY would I invite all those kids to anything, let alone something as special as a mitzvah. Clearly those of you in it for the party, who let your kids skip the service, have no idea how hard these kids work, how much effort goes into learning Hebrew, learning to chant Hebrew from the Torah, in front of a crowd of friends, family and strangers. The party is a celebration of a life cycle event of huge importance in a Jewish person's life. If you don't like it and think it's just a big party, either educate yourself, or just do everyone a favor, and skip it.

NP here- You sound like you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not about exclusion - get over it. Your kid can't be friends with everybody (and if they were invited to all of them you all would probably complain about how expensive 7th grade is because they keep being invited to all these mitzvahs!). They will get t shirts or hoodies or whatever from the ones they go to, and won't from the ones they don't.

Our kids are at a public school with 350-400 kids per grade. NO WAY would I invite all those kids to anything, let alone something as special as a mitzvah. Clearly those of you in it for the party, who let your kids skip the service, have no idea how hard these kids work, how much effort goes into learning Hebrew, learning to chant Hebrew from the Torah, in front of a crowd of friends, family and strangers. The party is a celebration of a life cycle event of huge importance in a Jewish person's life. If you don't like it and think it's just a big party, either educate yourself, or just do everyone a favor, and skip it.

Eww. You are an embarrassment, pp. I’m 17:32 pp. I’m Jewish, have kids in a big public school and fully understand the significance of a bar mitzvah and the hard work that goes into it. Even had the big party to celebrate the achievement for kid 1 and will do the same for kid 2, but clearly did not invite anywhere near the whole class. Yet somehow I didn’t feel the need to rub it in other kids’ faces by giving out t-shirts or hoodies.