Marriages in which the husband is 10-15 years older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 29 and my DH is 59. A major age gap I know but I think it works for us because I am an old young person. I also don't want children and wouldn't have trusted a guy my age to not change his mind down the road (ironic I know). DH already has BTDT with kids and he definitely wont ask me for kids so it works both ways.

Ok, to each their own, if you are happy great. You should think of this as your first marriage, as he will be dead unless you are much sicker than him. Or you might love being alone and still able to do things, I mean you are 29, so who knows what life will bring. As you are 29, you might think you know everything, we all did, but the reality is we were all still pretty naïve and dumb at that age. And you might never want kids, I got married younger and didn't think about kids at all. Like zero thought... and then I did. Wanted, wanted to have baby, and never thought prior about having a baby at all! I was that driven studying, working, thought about going for PhDs, research, and then I was just dying to have a baby. Why, no idea, it just happened. I looked at the kid in a grocery store and I wanted one. We are still pretty animalistic deep down, that is what I think. Even my friends who knew me asked me later on, how did I have kids, I never said never, but I never, ever mentioned kids, nor was I in any way "maternal." Even now, I adore my kids, older teens, but I am not really fond of kids, even though I worked with kids. If anything, working with kids made me realize I need to find a different job! Which I did!

So amazing how when a woman says she doesnt want children, she gets bingoed with 'You'll change your mind". Would you say the same if PP was a 29yo man?

I think you lack reading comprehension. I clearly wrote that she might never, ever want kids. Where did I say YOU WILL change your mind? Nowhere. But, I wrote what I have seen happen to me and to many other women. We who are a bit older have been there, done that. At 29 you have no idea what you will want or not want at 35. The only reason 29 year old, male of female is making such categoric statements is that they know what they want at 29, but have no clue what they want at 40, or even at 30. Not a single thing I wrote is wrong no matter the gender. You do realize that you might see 100 men who told you they are never having any more kids... and then they marry again and have 3 more kids, right? Mind is not set till death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 29 and my DH is 59. A major age gap I know but I think it works for us because I am an old young person. I also don't want children and wouldn't have trusted a guy my age to not change his mind down the road (ironic I know). DH already has BTDT with kids and he definitely wont ask me for kids so it works both ways.

Ok, to each their own, if you are happy great. You should think of this as your first marriage, as he will be dead unless you are much sicker than him. Or you might love being alone and still able to do things, I mean you are 29, so who knows what life will bring. As you are 29, you might think you know everything, we all did, but the reality is we were all still pretty naïve and dumb at that age. And you might never want kids, I got married younger and didn't think about kids at all. Like zero thought... and then I did. Wanted, wanted to have baby, and never thought prior about having a baby at all! I was that driven studying, working, thought about going for PhDs, research, and then I was just dying to have a baby. Why, no idea, it just happened. I looked at the kid in a grocery store and I wanted one. We are still pretty animalistic deep down, that is what I think. Even my friends who knew me asked me later on, how did I have kids, I never said never, but I never, ever mentioned kids, nor was I in any way "maternal." Even now, I adore my kids, older teens, but I am not really fond of kids, even though I worked with kids. If anything, working with kids made me realize I need to find a different job! Which I did!

The amount of projecting in your post is lame. You said you never gave children any thought when you married. That's very different from someone who militantly against having children like the PP. Nothing wrong with not wanting children.

I agree, nothing wrong with not wanting children. And I only posted my perspective, I mean she might have kids with another husband if she really falls in love, and he wants kids. As for militantly being against something? Well, only someone very naïve and not worldly is ever militantly against something. If she(or you) were older and wiser you would realize the stupidity of that statement. But you can't, so cheers, enjoy your idea that things don't ever change.

[Anonymous]

My father-in-law was 15 years older than my mother-in-law. I never met him because he died when my husband was 24. He was over 50 when my husband was born. So that's certainly something that can be in your future, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So amazing how when a woman says she doesnt want children, she gets bingoed with 'You'll change your mind". Would you say the same if PP was a 29yo man?

As a man, I would have said at 29 that I didn't want kids. If you'd said "you'll change your mind" to me... you would have been right.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.

I'd enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm 55.

You'd enjoy the fun part, but not the hard work, which you would leave up to your younger wife to do. Trump also enjoys having children; he just doesn't enjoy taking care of them.

I'm a man of 54. I have two boys under 10. I do more than my share of the hard work. I like taking care of them. The boys have a constant need to be outside running around, and I am the one who does that with them. (Also: making their meals, making them bathe, ding their laundry, among other things.) I am not gasping and out of breath when I kick the soccer ball with them, either. Maybe you think that falls into the "fun part", but going to the playground every afternoon stops being fun for the parent after a while, as perhaps you know.

If we had another one, that would be tough psychologically, because we are past the "diapers and spoon-feeding" stage. Physically I could do it. Not saying it would be a good idea, though.

Anecdotal... most men don't take on their fair share of the house chores or childcare, especially the older generation.

In any case, yes, my point was that a much older man wouldn't want a newborn and do the tough part of parenting like sleepless nights, etc.. Heck, I'm 48 and female and don't ever want to go through that again.

Your generalizations about men are wrong, and irrelevant. The "older generation" you're talking about here is Generation X, not some dinosaur from the 1950s. Gen X guys don't expect to be waited on at home, not least because enough of them were raised by single moms who wouldn't do that. Older men are much more likely to have a mature attitude about sharing the work than younger men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.

I'd enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm 55.

You'd enjoy the fun part, but not the hard work, which you would leave up to your younger wife to do. Trump also enjoys having children; he just doesn't enjoy taking care of them.

I'm a man of 54. I have two boys under 10. I do more than my share of the hard work. I like taking care of them. The boys have a constant need to be outside running around, and I am the one who does that with them. (Also: making their meals, making them bathe, ding their laundry, among other things.) I am not gasping and out of breath when I kick the soccer ball with them, either. Maybe you think that falls into the "fun part", but going to the playground every afternoon stops being fun for the parent after a while, as perhaps you know.

If we had another one, that would be tough psychologically, because we are past the "diapers and spoon-feeding" stage. Physically I could do it. Not saying it would be a good idea, though.

Anecdotal... most men don't take on their fair share of the house chores or childcare, especially the older generation.

In any case, yes, my point was that a much older man wouldn't want a newborn and do the tough part of parenting like sleepless nights, etc.. Heck, I'm 48 and female and don't ever want to go through that again.

Your generalizations about men are wrong, and irrelevant. The "older generation" you're talking about here is Generation X, not some dinosaur from the 1950s. Gen X guys don't expect to be waited on at home, not least because enough of them were raised by single moms who wouldn't do that. Older men are much more likely to have a mature attitude about sharing the work than younger men.

Really? Well, now I heard everything, gen X men love doing house chores? Then millennials must be veritable powerhouses when it comes to cleaning house and sharing chores. I am just wondering where are you finding these apron clad knights? On Modern House show? Because I am gen X, and know gen X men and women, and all these women gripe about the same exact thing, husbands who might clean and think cleaning a sink is cleaning the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 29 and my DH is 59. A major age gap I know but I think it works for us because I am an old young person. I also don't want children and wouldn't have trusted a guy my age to not change his mind down the road (ironic I know). DH already has BTDT with kids and he definitely wont ask me for kids so it works both ways.

Ok, to each their own, if you are happy great. You should think of this as your first marriage, as he will be dead unless you are much sicker than him. Or you might love being alone and still able to do things, I mean you are 29, so who knows what life will bring. As you are 29, you might think you know everything, we all did, but the reality is we were all still pretty naïve and dumb at that age. And you might never want kids, I got married younger and didn't think about kids at all. Like zero thought... and then I did. Wanted, wanted to have baby, and never thought prior about having a baby at all! I was that driven studying, working, thought about going for PhDs, research, and then I was just dying to have a baby. Why, no idea, it just happened. I looked at the kid in a grocery store and I wanted one. We are still pretty animalistic deep down, that is what I think. Even my friends who knew me asked me later on, how did I have kids, I never said never, but I never, ever mentioned kids, nor was I in any way "maternal." Even now, I adore my kids, older teens, but I am not really fond of kids, even though I worked with kids. If anything, working with kids made me realize I need to find a different job! Which I did!

The amount of projecting in your post is lame. You said you never gave children any thought when you married. That's very different from someone who militantly against having children like the PP. Nothing wrong with not wanting children.

I agree, nothing wrong with not wanting children. And I only posted my perspective, I mean she might have kids with another husband if she really falls in love, and he wants kids. As for militantly being against something? Well, only someone very naïve and not worldly is ever militantly against something. If she(or you) were older and wiser you would realize the stupidity of that statement. But you can't, so cheers, enjoy your idea that things don't ever change.

Well I'm militantly against misogyny. Is that naïve? Stop being so judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 29 and my DH is 59. A major age gap I know but I think it works for us because I am an old young person. I also don't want children and wouldn't have trusted a guy my age to not change his mind down the road (ironic I know). DH already has BTDT with kids and he definitely wont ask me for kids so it works both ways.

Ok, to each their own, if you are happy great. You should think of this as your first marriage, as he will be dead unless you are much sicker than him. Or you might love being alone and still able to do things, I mean you are 29, so who knows what life will bring. As you are 29, you might think you know everything, we all did, but the reality is we were all still pretty naïve and dumb at that age. And you might never want kids, I got married younger and didn't think about kids at all. Like zero thought... and then I did. Wanted, wanted to have baby, and never thought prior about having a baby at all! I was that driven studying, working, thought about going for PhDs, research, and then I was just dying to have a baby. Why, no idea, it just happened. I looked at the kid in a grocery store and I wanted one. We are still pretty animalistic deep down, that is what I think. Even my friends who knew me asked me later on, how did I have kids, I never said never, but I never, ever mentioned kids, nor was I in any way "maternal." Even now, I adore my kids, older teens, but I am not really fond of kids, even though I worked with kids. If anything, working with kids made me realize I need to find a different job! Which I did!

So amazing how when a woman says she doesnt want children, she gets bingoed with 'You'll change your mind". Would you say the same if PP was a 29yo man?

I think you lack reading comprehension. I clearly wrote that she might never, ever want kids. Where did I say YOU WILL change your mind? Nowhere. But, I wrote what I have seen happen to me and to many other women. We who are a bit older have been there, done that. At 29 you have no idea what you will want or not want at 35. The only reason 29 year old, male of female is making such categoric statements is that they know what they want at 29, but have no clue what they want at 40, or even at 30. Not a single thing I wrote is wrong no matter the gender. You do realize that you might see 100 men who told you they are never having any more kids... and then they marry again and have 3 more kids, right? Mind is not set till death.

Why are you obsessed with someone else's reproductive decisions?

[Anonymous]

I am 10 years older than my wife of 34 years. When we married, I was 40 and she was 30. From my side, I think the age difference has made NO difference - except that it, and fact we had children when I was in my 40s, has kept me younger in appearance and interest in life.
She might comment differently but probably not a lot. I am now starting to get more of the aches and pains of older life, and it could well be that in a few years she will still be an active older woman as I turn into someone who needs more care and attention.
For now though, it has been just fine for us and our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 10 years older than my wife of 34 years. When we married, I was 40 and she was 30. From my side, I think the age difference has made NO difference - except that it, and fact we had children when I was in my 40s, has kept me younger in appearance and interest in life.
She might comment differently but probably not a lot. I am now starting to get more of the aches and pains of older life, and it could well be that in a few years she will still be an active older woman as I turn into someone who needs more care and attention.
For now though, it has been just fine for us and our children.

I just watched a makeover show on Netflix which featured a Thai plastic surgeon who was 80 years old! He looks 30 years younger and could endure standing for four hours in the OR. So old age doesn't have to mean decrepitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.

I'd enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm 55.

You'd enjoy the fun part, but not the hard work, which you would leave up to your younger wife to do. Trump also enjoys having children; he just doesn't enjoy taking care of them.

I'm a man of 54. I have two boys under 10. I do more than my share of the hard work. I like taking care of them. The boys have a constant need to be outside running around, and I am the one who does that with them. (Also: making their meals, making them bathe, ding their laundry, among other things.) I am not gasping and out of breath when I kick the soccer ball with them, either. Maybe you think that falls into the "fun part", but going to the playground every afternoon stops being fun for the parent after a while, as perhaps you know.

If we had another one, that would be tough psychologically, because we are past the "diapers and spoon-feeding" stage. Physically I could do it. Not saying it would be a good idea, though.

Anecdotal... most men don't take on their fair share of the house chores or childcare, especially the older generation.

In any case, yes, my point was that a much older man wouldn't want a newborn and do the tough part of parenting like sleepless nights, etc.. Heck, I'm 48 and female and don't ever want to go through that again.

Your generalizations about men are wrong, and irrelevant. The "older generation" you're talking about here is Generation X, not some dinosaur from the 1950s. Gen X guys don't expect to be waited on at home, not least because enough of them were raised by single moms who wouldn't do that. Older men are much more likely to have a mature attitude about sharing the work than younger men.

Not even necessarily Gen X. The oldest group of millennial are in OP’s stated range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.

I'd enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm 55.

You'd enjoy the fun part, but not the hard work, which you would leave up to your younger wife to do. Trump also enjoys having children; he just doesn't enjoy taking care of them.

You're of the worst type of woman on earth. I'm a man in my 50s, and raising my own young children on my own. It's fun and it's not nearly as hard as you lying scum say it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it ends... you'll be a caregiver to your elderly husband and then a widow for 30 years.

My husband is 5 years younger than me. And he Will go first.

You never know what you get.

[Anonymous]

Op are you into older guys who have zero game and are underemployed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about 6 to 9 years, OP? Is that considered "daddy" issues or not?

I prefer he’s a decade older. I just want someone to replace and give me that care that I never had whilst growing up. I view older men as emotionally stable.

How old are you OP? Do you want children?

I’m in my 20s. Yes I want kids and don’t mind if he has kids.

A 40 year old man might be ok with having a newborn, but I cannot imagine most 50+ yr old men will want a newborn.

I'd enjoy having a baby in the house. I'm 55.

You'd enjoy the fun part, but not the hard work, which you would leave up to your younger wife to do. Trump also enjoys having children; he just doesn't enjoy taking care of them.

I'm a man of 54. I have two boys under 10. I do more than my share of the hard work. I like taking care of them. The boys have a constant need to be outside running around, and I am the one who does that with them. (Also: making their meals, making them bathe, ding their laundry, among other things.) I am not gasping and out of breath when I kick the soccer ball with them, either. Maybe you think that falls into the "fun part", but going to the playground every afternoon stops being fun for the parent after a while, as perhaps you know.

If we had another one, that would be tough psychologically, because we are past the "diapers and spoon-feeding" stage. Physically I could do it. Not saying it would be a good idea, though.

Anecdotal... most men don't take on their fair share of the house chores or childcare, especially the older generation.

In any case, yes, my point was that a much older man wouldn't want a newborn and do the tough part of parenting like sleepless nights, etc.. Heck, I'm 48 and female and don't ever want to go through that again.

Your generalizations about men are wrong, and irrelevant. The "older generation" you're talking about here is Generation X, not some dinosaur from the 1950s. Gen X guys don't expect to be waited on at home, not least because enough of them were raised by single moms who wouldn't do that. Older men are much more likely to have a mature attitude about sharing the work than younger men.

Your FOS.