Teen going away from home to train

[Anonymous]

If it's ballet, then you (OP) have already spent a ton of time, money and energy helping your daughter reach her dreams. So yeah, I'd support it.

[Anonymous]

OP: You’re not at all identifiable. You’ll get better and more specific advice if you post the sport/activity even if not the program. My advice depends enormously depending on what it is and what the opportunities in DC are in that sport/activity.

[Anonymous]

We’re not there yet but wanted to offer my support for such a hard decision. It’s in the back of my mind that we might face that with our ballet dancer within the next couple of years. If it’s a top program with a good track record of placing the kids in companies, I’d have a really hard time telling her she couldn’t follow her dream. There’s no guarantee that the offer would still be there the following year if she delayed, or that the same opportunity could be found closer to home. I think for me it would depend on how the school handles the residential situation. If it’s like boarding school where the kids are all housed together with a faculty member who is responsible for them, I’d probably be more okay with it than if it weren’t so structured. It would also be better if she were there for the summer and was completely comfortable in that environment/city and could see herself staying.

[Anonymous]

20:51 PP, wanted to add that if it IS ballet, check out the message boards at Ballet Talk for Dancers, they have a forum devoted to this very topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what it is.

I sent my DS away for hockey. Good choice for us. There is little abuse in the hockey system (of the sexual variety), and really not of any other kind either. We see him often, and he loves where he is.

I do not know enough about some of the other options to help, but I do know that dance would make me more nervous due to some of the other pressures--body issues, sexual. But maybe I'm just a victim of ignorance and too many Lifetime movies there.

I think dance is a little less of a risk for that kind of abuse because the adults are mostly female and the male adults are mostly gay.

That is a myth.

That ballet teachers are mostly female?

Or that male ballet dancer in the US are mostly gay?

I have spent plenty of time in the dance world and I can assure you it's not a myth. However, this doesn't hold true for the Russian dancers.

That male ballet dancers are mostly gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:51 PP, wanted to add that if it IS ballet, check out the message boards at Ballet Talk for Dancers, they have a forum devoted to this very topic.

This kind of specific, useful advice is why you should go ahead and say what the training is for, OP. You will get far better input if you simply say what it is. It will not identify your child unless someone at her current studio happens to read DCUM, happens, to open the teens forum, happens to see this thread, etc. Just say what the activity is if you really want to get anything useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: This is an activity for which teens typically go away at 17 at the latest. 14/15 is young but not unheard of. Child will definitely do this activity professionally. School will definitely be online. There is not academic program.

Sounds like hockey. If so, I know of several people who let theirs go away at 15 and 16 to train. They had no issues or complaints. Two went to Ivy League schools and then the NHL draft. Another skipped further schooling and went straight to the pros.

I think it is ballet.

OP said the kid would definitely go pro. Ballet is the only sport I can think of that has a professional option where a 17 it is a common result for a teen to enter the program and end up professional by the late teens.

It might happen very occassionally in a sport like hockey, but that kid is a real star and there is no definite or probable pro path that young.

Basketball players go pro very young too, but they stay at their local school and don't get sent away to train.

You can't go pro in basketball until you've done an year in college.

I'm thinking hockey or dance. 17 is too late for gymnastics.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the activity? Sport? Music conservatory?

Is this a son or daughter?

Both are relevant ?s. Some activities just have a huge likelihood of abuse. (USA gymnastics comes to mind.)

[Anonymous]

Ranked junior tennis players also get sent away during mid teens. There's quite a few boarding programs in Florida that house teens year-round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ranked junior tennis players also get sent away during mid teens. There's quite a few boarding programs in Florida that house teens year-round.

My cousin did one of those tennis schools for a year. Apparently he was a good player and could pay tuition so they took him on. Went home after a year when it was clear he wasn’t headed for the big leagues.

[Anonymous]

While I'm kind of curious too, I don't think the OP needs to reveal the child's gender or activity to get the kind of information s/he's asking for.
The OP specifically asked for experience of people who have gone away or parents who have sent their children away. That's all.
Everyone wants to offer advice, but that's not what the OP asked for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I'm kind of curious too, I don't think the OP needs to reveal the child's gender or activity to get the kind of information s/he's asking for.
The OP specifically asked for experience of people who have gone away or parents who have sent their children away. That's all.
Everyone wants to offer advice, but that's not what the OP asked for.

Ballet parents can provide very valuable and specific advice about various programs and advantages/disadvantages between, say, going away now or finishing high school and going to a conservatory or BFA program.

I am sure other sports parents can too.

Going away and spending teen years with a host family is very different than going away to an arts boarding school setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I'm kind of curious too, I don't think the OP needs to reveal the child's gender or activity to get the kind of information s/he's asking for.
The OP specifically asked for experience of people who have gone away or parents who have sent their children away. That's all.
Everyone wants to offer advice, but that's not what the OP asked for.

Ballet parents can provide very valuable and specific advice about various programs and advantages/disadvantages between, say, going away now or finishing high school and going to a conservatory or BFA program.

I am sure other sports parents can too.

Going away and spending teen years with a host family is very different than going away to an arts boarding school setting.

I'm sure that's true and if the OP wants that information, maybe they'll ask for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given all that is come out with the USA gymnastics program, I would really need to think carefully before allowing my kid to do something like this.

They are the ones who go caught.

I am sure gymnastics is not the only sport where this is going on at high levels.

It had nothing to do with gymnasts who trained at home vs. those who went away. The national team camps occurred once every 2 months for 4-5 days. Nearly all off those gymnasts lived at home with their families. Nassar also abused many athletes through his private practice, sometimes with parents right there. It is 100% about MSU repeatedly ignoring legitimate reports of abuse, and USAG not instituting the needed controls to ensure no gymnast was ever alone with an adult. An athlete living at home or with a host family had exactly 0% to do with the likelihood that they would end up a victim of Larry Nassar.