Teen going away from home to train

[Anonymous]

If DCUM is to be believed, sexual predators are the biggest threat to childhood, lurking behind every bush. Yes, sexual abuse is horrible and yes we should protect children, but why the hysteria?

[Anonymous]

We don't think it is hysteria. It's reality that this is happening and although it might now be more acceptable to report incidents, we're still talking about young teens here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If DCUM is to be believed, sexual predators are the biggest threat to childhood, lurking behind every bush. Yes, sexual abuse is horrible and yes we should protect children, but why the hysteria?

I am just disputing PPs claim that hockey (a masculine sport) is going to have a far less chance of these kinds of things happening than a sport like gymnastics or swimming with lots of girls.

If Penn State taught us anything, it taught us that even "guy" sports have predators that take advantage of obedient kids under their care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this. I was sexually abused just twice. I was lucky!

I didn't do this and as sexually abused twice.

It's everywhere.

[Anonymous]

In ballet, the teens who do not leave to train at a facility can still go on to become star dancers. Look at MYB, and their former students.

For me that would be a no, honestly.

[Anonymous]

OP, where would your DC live? Who would be looking after them? That’s an important consideration and would affect any feedback you get.

[Anonymous]

If it is ballet, do not buy into the myth that child will definitely do it professionally because it is highly unlikely. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, the last quote was a general comment about the youth involved in high intensity training. The victims included hockey players. So if 10% of the 50 victims were male, that means there were 5 males sexually abused by their coaches of the olympic players surveyed.

A plural number of those 5 males were hockey players.

Lets be conservative and say that it was 2 male hockey player abused.

That means that 40% of the male Canadian male olympic athletes in that sample group were hockey players.

That is a high percentage.

You posted that sexual abuse almost never happens in hockey (but does happen in ballet).

I googled youth abuse hockey, and many different cases came up, including this large scandal with the Canadian youth hockey program.

You posted incorrect information. I provided a few links, which made you crazy defensive. An appropriate response would be "Wow. I had no ides. I guess it happens everywhere." Not getting defensive and burying your head further in the sand.

And I am going to go out on a limb and say that victims in a masculine sport like hockey are probably far less likely to report abuse due to fear of the perceived stigma of being labeled gay." It took tremendous courage for the young women gymnasts to speak out, and many only did it because of feeling strength and support from the Me Too movement. Guys don't have that support or strength. It takes a movement to give many that kind of courage, like Me Too or the support of clergy victims a decade ago.

Don't be so quick to shout "It almost never happens in hockey."

It most likely is that it almost never gets reported.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on what it is.

I sent my DS away for hockey. Good choice for us. There is little abuse in the hockey system (of the sexual variety), and really not of any other kind either. We see him often, and he loves where he is.

I do not know enough about some of the other options to help, but I do know that dance would make me more nervous due to some of the other pressures--body issues, sexual. But maybe I'm just a victim of ignorance and too many Lifetime movies there.

Don't make the assumption that there is no abuse in hockey, just because it is a more masculine sport. Abuse in kids sports programs is not just limited to gymnastics and wrestling:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.necn.com/news/new-england/Youth-Hockey-Coach-Faces-More-Indictments-on-Child-Sex-Abuse-Charges-477738663.html%3famp=y

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/police/92886611-132.html

http://www.salemnews.com/news/local_news/youth-hockey-coach-charged-in-sexual-abuse-of-boy/article_39112043-fd3d-5567-b945-345f981e44be.html

NHL and high level players abused by Canadian youth program coach after being sent away to train:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.csmonitor.com/layout/set/amphtml/1997/0116/011697.intl.intl.2.html

These were just the first four hits when I googled "youth hockey abuse".

It goes on for pages with different coaches.

Your reading comprehension is poor. "Little" is different than "no". Your need to proove this is also a bit disturbing and says a lot about you--nothing good, though.

Did you read the link about the Canadian Youth hockey program?

It is a widespread issue in Canada youth hockey in the program that produces most of their NHL players.

Here is a quote from the article about a survey done of Canadian Olympic athletes, including many of their hockey players:

"What Canada is awakening to is that sexual abuse of children, a global societal ill, extends to sports - including hockey, Kirby says. Her research, released at a conference last summer prior to the Atlanta Olympics, showed that more than 50 of the 266 athletes surveyed - all of whom were competing for Canada - had had sexual intercourse with a coach or someone in authority. Some said they had been forced. One in 5 was under age 16 when the act occurred. More than 90 percent of the cases involved female athletes."

JFC, start your own thread about abuse in hockey and stop derailing this one.

NP. How is the pp derailing this thread? Someone said if it's hockey the OP shouldn't worry because there's no abuse in hockey. The PP merely pointed out that this isn't necessarily true. If I were the OP, I'd want this information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is ballet, do not buy into the myth that child will definitely do it professionally because it is highly unlikely. BTDT.

Say more, pp. What's your story?

[Anonymous]

If this is ballet - then SAB and Harid would be okay for high school age. I think Washington ballet changed it's upper level and now requires online school. This is a good option that would allow your DC to stay home for a few more years.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if anyone can help the OP by providing advice and experiences from actually having gone away to train or sent a child away to train.

[Anonymous]

My niece did a lot of her schooling on line, and traveled a ton with a national team.

It only worked because family could travel with her and she was a very responsible student.

[Anonymous]

If OP could provide specific information about what activity/sport and where they are potentially going to train, people would be able to offer better advice. I participated in a sport at an elite level and moved away to train in my early teens. Is your child passionate about this activity? Are they ready to focus on the activity to the exclusion of having a "normal" life.

I would consider that elite level sports programs and coaches focus on the sport and athletic development. They are not focused on emotional support or educational development -- this is what your family is supposed to provide. If there is no family member around, where will your child get this.

Is your child physically and emotionally resilient? Are they independent-minded and motivated enough by training to not get sucked in with others who are making bad decisions. How do they handle injury (this can be a real challenge from a distance). You will hear success stories, disasters and lots of in-between.

I would explore all options for keeping a parent with the child,

[Anonymous]

OP, please just post if your DC is a girl or boy, and what sport it is. This is an anonymous board; so if you want advice, it's really no risk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who did this for hockey. Seemed to work out well. He's going to an Ivy League and was drafted by the NHL. Doubt that would have happened had he stayed at home.

Just like any sport, that's an extreme outlier. Most hockey kids end up at crap colleges, if they play college puck at all. Even more do the junior circuit for a few years before they realize the dream isn't happening. If going away at 14, playing juniors til 20, then going to some crap college in North Dakota or Maine or God knows where to play hockey from 20-24 living the dream?