11 yo DD sneaking sweets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I disagree with all the mean-spirited "why are you making her ask, you're controlling, this is rationing" etc. posters above, OP. Wow. Do you folks all let your kids, yes, even 11-year-olds take what they want, when they want? Do they also do the shopping and decide what's in the pantry? Because if they don't have to go out and replace what they eat up, they should be taught that it's good manners to tell the person who DOES the shopping and food planning what's getting eaten up.

I do the food shopping for our household and if DC and my DH are taking food all the time and never telling me what they're eating or that we're nearly out of something -- I go to get food or ingredients and discover we're out of something I planned on serving or using to cook that day. I don't think you're asking too much at all when you ask your child to tell you if she wants X or Y (or if you expect your husband just to let you know he took the last roll or cookie or whatever; you're not asking them to beg you for it, but to let you know so you aren't caught short when you go to get them the next day).

Her telling you, "I'm going to get a snack" also leaves you the option to give your child information she doesn't have, such as: "We're going out to dinner tonight, earlier than usual, so please hold off on the snack since we'll be at dinner in an hour" or whatever she may not know. And yes, it's FINE to tell a child, you cannot have a snack now because we're having dinner/we're nearly out and that one's going into your lunch tomorrow/whatever. That won't cause an eating disorder or make you some evil, controlling parent, no matter what DCUM tells you.

You also don't want to set up a poor dynamic by always saying no to her. So figure out when it is that she seems likeliest to go get food; is it right after school? Maybe she needs a higher-protein lunch that sticks to her longer through the day, or she needs a high-protein snack on the table when she gets in, like yogurt or cheese and crackers. (Often the craving for sweets is actually a craving for proteins, my doctor and her pediatrician both have told us.) If she's getting sweets 30 minutes before dinner, maybe dinnertime needs to move a little earlier. If she never gets sweets after dinner, maybe its' time try having dessert a few times a week instead of having sweet treats readily available in the pantry. And she can't eat what isn't there; stop buying sweets that sit in the pantry to be taken.

Does she think she has to get sweets without letting you know because you'll always say no? Say yes sometimes--which will be easier if you don't have many sweet things around. And please dont' say to your DD that she "sneaks" food if you've been OK with her getting food for herself; that's a mixed message. If the issue is that you're fine with her eating them, but you want to keep up with what's in the pantry since you are the one who fills it -- explain that to her. Kids this age like being treated like they can understand things like that.

If the issue is that the food she wants is sweets, make them less available: Don't have them in the house as much, or at all, or start having her help you make real desserts a few times a week rather than having pantry treats around. Bonus: Time together.

Yes, this. Totally agree about people eating things you need for dinner! Or downing the nice party crackers like chips. It's frustrating for the person planning the meals & doing the shopping.

I have also caught my dd hiding and eating sweets as well. She hides it because she knows that she has eaten more sugar than is possibly healthy, and that I would say No if I knew. And, she just loves sugar. (Favorite store: It's Sugar). So, we have a talk about honesty and healthy eating. When I talk about healthy eating, I never refer to weight gain or anything like that, just to the adverse effects of large regular sugar intake. She stopped doing it for the most part. I did punish her when it happened a few times, moreso for hiding it from me (finding a bunch of candy wrappers in the corner of the closet). FWIW, we have desserts and things, neither a treat-centric nor a treat barren household. Kids also make their own lunches, I just ask them to make sure they have fruit/veg & protein.

Ignore the "gate keeper" people insinuating you're doing this to her. Some kids are just sugar junkies and need a little help to eat healthy! Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 year old boy who is sugar obsessed, and would happily eat packaged granola bars from the minute he gets home from school until dinner time and then not want any dinner. So I’m one that also makes rules about snacking and my kids don’t have free reign over the kitchen. On weekends they claim to be hungry an hour after a big breakfast...at school no snacks, so I know their body isn’t trained to eat at hay time. My kids get plenty of food at meals, I have never ever said no to seconds, thirds, etc. they also get snacks after school and on the weekends, I’m not a die hard no snack dictator, but free reign would mean no real food gets eaten, just snacks.

Not sure how to Help the op, but surprised that everyone else has such an open kitchen

I thought the same thing when I read this. I have a 9 year old boy and he certainly doesn’t control all his food intake.

That would mean granola bars all day. We’re not anti-sugar, but I’m amazed that all you posters have such an open kitchen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 year old boy who is sugar obsessed, and would happily eat packaged granola bars from the minute he gets home from school until dinner time and then not want any dinner. So I’m one that also makes rules about snacking and my kids don’t have free reign over the kitchen. On weekends they claim to be hungry an hour after a big breakfast...at school no snacks, so I know their body isn’t trained to eat at hay time. My kids get plenty of food at meals, I have never ever said no to seconds, thirds, etc. they also get snacks after school and on the weekends, I’m not a die hard no snack dictator, but free reign would mean no real food gets eaten, just snacks.

Not sure how to Help the op, but surprised that everyone else has such an open kitchen

I thought the same thing when I read this. I have a 9 year old boy and he certainly doesn’t control all his food intake.

That would mean granola bars all day. We’re not anti-sugar, but I’m amazed that all you posters have such an open kitchen![/quote]

I find policing young adult food intake disgusting and controlling. I don't mean this a mean-spirited way, but I am struggling to capture the words to express how truly offensive I find it. The idea of overeating sugar does not affect me in remotely a similar way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 year old boy who is sugar obsessed, and would happily eat packaged granola bars from the minute he gets home from school until dinner time and then not want any dinner. So I’m one that also makes rules about snacking and my kids don’t have free reign over the kitchen. On weekends they claim to be hungry an hour after a big breakfast...at school no snacks, so I know their body isn’t trained to eat at hay time. My kids get plenty of food at meals, I have never ever said no to seconds, thirds, etc. they also get snacks after school and on the weekends, I’m not a die hard no snack dictator, but free reign would mean no real food gets eaten, just snacks.

Not sure how to Help the op, but surprised that everyone else has such an open kitchen

I thought the same thing when I read this. I have a 9 year old boy and he certainly doesn’t control all his food intake.

That would mean granola bars all day. We’re not anti-sugar, but I’m amazed that all you posters have such an open kitchen!

Trying again. I find policing young adult food intake disgusting and controlling. I don't mean this a mean-spirited way, but I am struggling to capture the words to express how truly offensive I find it. The idea of overeating sugar does not affect me in remotely a similar way.

[Anonymous]

high fructose corn syrup

Our kids were poisoned with addictive food additives. No different than a drug addict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 year old boy who is sugar obsessed, and would happily eat packaged granola bars from the minute he gets home from school until dinner time and then not want any dinner. So I’m one that also makes rules about snacking and my kids don’t have free reign over the kitchen. On weekends they claim to be hungry an hour after a big breakfast...at school no snacks, so I know their body isn’t trained to eat at hay time. My kids get plenty of food at meals, I have never ever said no to seconds, thirds, etc. they also get snacks after school and on the weekends, I’m not a die hard no snack dictator, but free reign would mean no real food gets eaten, just snacks.

Not sure how to Help the op, but surprised that everyone else has such an open kitchen

I thought the same thing when I read this. I have a 9 year old boy and he certainly doesn’t control all his food intake.

That would mean granola bars all day. We’re not anti-sugar, but I’m amazed that all you posters have such an open kitchen!

Trying again. I find policing young adult food intake disgusting and controlling. I don't mean this a mean-spirited way, but I am struggling to capture the words to express how truly offensive I find it. The idea of overeating sugar does not affect me in remotely a similar way.

But it affects your body. Read the latest studies. And, ours is not a sugar-free household either, but there is nothing wrong w/ having some rules nd not letting kids pig out on sugar. PP, you seem to have some issues to have such a strong reaction -- "truly offensive?" Really? People not letting kids fill up on sugar is somehow "disgusting and controlling?" It's called parenting. Come to terms with your issues.