Would you maintain relationship with in laws for the sake of inheritance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is one complaint I never understand. Why do grown-ass people complain about holidays so much? When you are in your 30s+ and have your own family, it is time to start hosting holidays once in awhile. Invite both sides of the family. You shouldn't depend on your parents or ILs to host every year.

People go to their parents house because their parents won't come to them. They demand that they stay where they are comfortable. Often parents have more than one child to host as well. Not sure how you missed this.

[Anonymous]

sure, but they might still donate it all or give it to the youngest co-dependent child like my grandparents did. total socialists.

[Anonymous]

For a few million EACH??? Or a few mil split between DH and bus brother?

If you are talking AT LEAST 3-5 million EACH after expenses for end of life care and lawyers, then, yes.

If you are talking 3 million now total with 1-2 million being used in their lifetimes and the only 1/2 or 1 million left once you split with the brother, then NO!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

My DB lost out of 23 million dollars...all because his aunt was a bitch and smelled funny. I would most def have been nice to her and cared for her. She left her money to the bank. LOL. It seems to me that you’ve been good to your MIL. but there’s always a possibility she won’t incldue your husband or leave him less. Ya never know.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I'd kiss ass if I needed the money. I think it should appear to come from DH, though. If they are close enough/do talk money, I think he should see if they need help/encouragement to complete their living wills and estate planning. No one ever wants to talk about it and then everything goes to hell when decisions need to be made or people realize money isn't saved/formalized in writing where it should go. Do it when everyone is relatively young and healthy, and again, under the guise of protecting the kids if one parent passes.

I had this conversation with my MIL when on my side of the family things got a little erratic with my dad's sudden interest in leaving everything to his brand new wife. I have a good relationship with my MIL and just laid my cards on the table saying "Can I bring up something horribly awkward? Your money is your money. Do with it what you want. But crap happens. If you have any interest in your money going to your son/daughter, get it said now and in writing now." She actually appreciated it and heard what I was saying. She made a joke about it saying "I'll be damned if all that I've worked for goes to some whore" and I was like "yeah... it can happen... you never think the plan will change but suddenly a little pussy comes along and your hubby may decide his kids don't need the money, but SHE does".

By doing this, the kids get invited into the conversation a little more so at least everyone is on the same page. If FIL knows she is all over the place with emotions/withholding affection/money, he can help protect their estate from her.