Always get a prenup if you have something to protect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

If it is good enough for the royal family, it is good enough for PP
http://www.businessinsider.com/prince-harry-meghan-markle-prenup-2018-3

"Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are set to wed in May 2018— but they're skipping a step many modern couples take to protect their finances in the case of divorce.
According to the Daily Mail, Prince Harry and Markle aren't signing a prenuptial agreement. In fact, Prince Harry's older brother Prince William also didn't sign a prenup before marrying Kate Middleton in 2011, Fox News reported.
For the average American couple, this might be a dangerous choice. But for couples in the UK, it's somewhat expected.
Prenups were only introduced in the United Kingdom fairly recently — and they're still not very popular.
In a 2010 ruling, the Supreme Court held that "courts should give effect to a pre-nuptial agreement that is freely entered into by each party, with a full appreciation of its implications," unless it would be unfair to the parties, according to a 2017 briefing paper from the House of Commons.
Before that, prenups were not always enforceable in the UK. In fact, said Harriet Cohen, a partner at Cohen Rabin Stine Schumann LLP, a family law firm in New York City, prenups were considered "non-romantic." "

[Anonymous]

If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

Hey dummy, if your son gets money from you, you’re done having a decision in it. Go die. Your part in the circle of life is complete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cry all the time that we don't see them and they wish they were more a part of the children's lives.

NP. From what you've written on this thread, and maybe it's just how you're phrasing things, you don't seem like a very kind person. It's been 20 years and you're still holding a grudge against the people who raised your DH? To the point where you keep their grandchildren from them? What lessons do you think your kids are absorbing from all of that? I suspect it's not "don't sign a prenup."

They made our engagement hell. We at one point went to vegas to elope. Though we didn't go through with eloping. They would lie and tell DH and me to come over so they can apologize, so we would come and then there was no apology--only them talking about a prenup. They are very controlling. The best thing we ever did for our marriage was move away. I was bitte for a long time. I don't think I am anymore.

Also, I watched DH's brother get married shortly after and there was no mention of a prenup. Of course I took that personally. Funny thing is, they divorced soon after. My ILs bet on the wrong horse.

If they did all that I wouldn't let them see my kids either. They are toxic, be glad you're both free of them. Some people, even family you have to distanced yourself from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

Oh you are very pathetic! Also the type to alienate your family.

[Anonymous]

Our children did not do prenups but our estate planning set up trusts that would not be part of marital property. We have also set up 529's for our grandchildren that would not be part of marital property. Prenups are very good if someone enters a marriage with a lot of assets in their own names. Our kids had very few assets when they got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our children did not do prenups but our estate planning set up trusts that would not be part of marital property. We have also set up 529's for our grandchildren that would not be part of marital property. Prenups are very good if someone enters a marriage with a lot of assets in their own names. Our kids had very few assets when they got married.

You people are all awful. You raised your children to be spoiled, entitled spouses who believe what's theirs is theirs, period. Why on earth would you not want your children to be fair, generous partners with the people they are supposed to love? If you actually did your job raising good, loving, responsible adults, then you wouldn't have to worry about what happens to their money. Do you have any idea what kind of relationships you have set them up for instead? I do, it's awful. I did come into my relationship with no assets. My spouse took control of his trust fund 10 years ago. He quit his job a few years later and now we live off of only my salary, leaving me to save nothing, while his trust fund sits there getting larger and larger every year. He refuses to use any of it on decent things for me or our children. The resentment all of this has caused between us is shattering to me, but for the sake of my kids, I have stayed and pushed it down. I will only do so until they are out of the house. After that, he will become a very lonely man and I am sure that neither I nor his kids will have anything to do with him or his parents. That's what people like you do to your children and their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our children did not do prenups but our estate planning set up trusts that would not be part of marital property. We have also set up 529's for our grandchildren that would not be part of marital property. Prenups are very good if someone enters a marriage with a lot of assets in their own names. Our kids had very few assets when they got married.

You people are all awful. You raised your children to be spoiled, entitled spouses who believe what's theirs is theirs, period. Why on earth would you not want your children to be fair, generous partners with the people they are supposed to love? If you actually did your job raising good, loving, responsible adults, then you wouldn't have to worry about what happens to their money. Do you have any idea what kind of relationships you have set them up for instead? I do, it's awful. I did come into my relationship with no assets. My spouse took control of his trust fund 10 years ago. He quit his job a few years later and now we live off of only my salary, leaving me to save nothing, while his trust fund sits there getting larger and larger every year. He refuses to use any of it on decent things for me or our children. The resentment all of this has caused between us is shattering to me, but for the sake of my kids, I have stayed and pushed it down. I will only do so until they are out of the house. After that, he will become a very lonely man and I am sure that neither I nor his kids will have anything to do with him or his parents. That's what people like you do to your children and their families.

NP here and I think it's important to distinguish between the valid purposes served by a prenupt and...well...whatever it is you have going on with your DH. The issues you have with him (you allowing him not to contribute and him not wanting to contribute are far beyond the natural consequences of a prenupt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Your brother basically was planning for the marriage to fail and it did. What a surprise.

My IL’s demanded I sign a prenup. I said NO. They said the6 weren’t coming to the wedding.

We have been married 20 year and all the prenup issues did was alienate my in laws from us and our kids.
I moved away from them as soon as I could.
I am in it for the long haul.

1. You must be a woman.
2. You must be stupid.

A prenup has nothing to do with the marriage. It has to do with the man's family. If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

Oh you are very pathetic! Also the type to alienate your family.

People wonder why grandchildren are closer to their mother's family. Also, PP: what exactly did you bring into your marriage? I am going to guess: nothing, right? And I don't think you worked hard for any of it--other than being a wife to who was probably an equally horrible person. So sad. Enjoy your lonely life with your son's wife and grand kids making fun of you behind your back all the time and leaving you behind when they're grown. Although, I am going to guess you didn't raise a son who will very easily find a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our children did not do prenups but our estate planning set up trusts that would not be part of marital property. We have also set up 529's for our grandchildren that would not be part of marital property. Prenups are very good if someone enters a marriage with a lot of assets in their own names. Our kids had very few assets when they got married.

You people are all awful. You raised your children to be spoiled, entitled spouses who believe what's theirs is theirs, period. Why on earth would you not want your children to be fair, generous partners with the people they are supposed to love? If you actually did your job raising good, loving, responsible adults, then you wouldn't have to worry about what happens to their money. Do you have any idea what kind of relationships you have set them up for instead? I do, it's awful. I did come into my relationship with no assets. My spouse took control of his trust fund 10 years ago. He quit his job a few years later and now we live off of only my salary, leaving me to save nothing, while his trust fund sits there getting larger and larger every year. He refuses to use any of it on decent things for me or our children. The resentment all of this has caused between us is shattering to me, but for the sake of my kids, I have stayed and pushed it down. I will only do so until they are out of the house. After that, he will become a very lonely man and I am sure that neither I nor his kids will have anything to do with him or his parents. That's what people like you do to your children and their families.

This is your choice, you can leave him since you are supporting the family entirely through your salary or is this true? He would have to pay child support through some means. Why would you stay until they are out of the house? This does not make sense since you are leaving once they turn 18 (and from the information in your post, they are pretty close to this age). At least if you leave, you would get child support and you could start to build a family savings account. Also, it sounds like he uses his trust to pay for his share of the household expenses and you want to control the rest?

Why should you get his trust in a divorce or even have a say in how he spends it now other than taking care of his share of expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our children did not do prenups but our estate planning set up trusts that would not be part of marital property. We have also set up 529's for our grandchildren that would not be part of marital property. Prenups are very good if someone enters a marriage with a lot of assets in their own names. Our kids had very few assets when they got married.

Jews from New York, we did same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If my son marries a woman and they get divorced, I do not want the money I WORKED HARD FOR to go to her. Understand?

Hey dummy, if your son gets money from you, you’re done having a decision in it. Go die. Your part in the circle of life is complete.

That is very untrue in trust situations. My very living parents set up huge trusts for us. Even with a pre up there are provisions in the laws of some states that would allow the spouse in divorcing to be privy to the increase in value during the duration of my marriage.