I want my MIL to stop sending 10 lbs of candy for every minor holiday

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is just trying to be thoughtful and nice.

Take some the candy to work, donate the entire bag to the school (I've given extra candy to donate to the staff break room -- it's always a hit), donate it to a food bank, hand it out the neighborhood kids, add it to gift bags for birthdays and/or whatever holiday is being celebrated, give some to your spouse to take to work. Boom, gone.

Be kind to your mother-in-law. It could be so much worse. As far as MIL problems go, this one is minor.

[Anonymous]

Send candy to deployed troops https://www.operationgratitude.com/ There are a bunch of orgs like this just google “send candy to troops”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also if I am trashing it because I think it's unhealthy, it feels wrong to donate it.

So you are ok with others, like teachers and troops, buying more and more candy while your goes in the landfill to pollute?

Not everyone eats boatloads of candy at once, so they can ration it. Leave it out at work, donate it to the local library, or school. Don't police others and keep crap out of the landfill.

Or woman up and tell your relatives you are tossing everything so they can give stuff to people who would enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Oh lordy, find something serious to worry about! And then send that candy to me!

[Anonymous]

Send it to me. I'll take it.

[Anonymous]

Just say thank you and throw it away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also if I am trashing it because I think it's unhealthy, it feels wrong to donate it.

So you are ok with others, like teachers and troops, buying more and more candy while your goes in the landfill to pollute?

Not everyone eats boatloads of candy at once, so they can ration it. Leave it out at work, donate it to the local library, or school. Don't police others and keep crap out of the landfill.

Or woman up and tell your relatives you are tossing everything so they can give stuff to people who would enjoy it.

I have told my relative we throw it out. That has no impact on the amount we receive. Keep in mind we receive more than OP.

Where I am, charities don't want candy; I couldn't find anyone to take it when I did try. I find it kind of bizarre how worked up some of you are at the idea that candy is thrown out.

[Anonymous]

Not worked up exactly, it's just really wasteful. I mean, throw it away it you want, but I've never had coworkers leave bags on candy on the break room table and have them just sit there...

My SIL swears she has to throw out unwanted unopened food & candy because absolutely no one in the DC metro or at her workplace wants it. Ok, but I moved here, leave stuff in the break room with a "free" note and it's gone by the next day, if not by the next hour. She is just offended by it somehow, and leaving this stuff for free reflects badly on her.

I think that's why I'm so "worked up" about it...instead of just giving things away that she doesn't need, she gets "worked up" (like OP) about whatever will I do with all of this and "making" others stop. It feels better to me to let it go than angrily trash it in the garbage, but to each their own.

[Anonymous]

It’s not up to OP to find somewhere to donate this unwanted largesse to if she has repeatedly told the giver not to send it. Dumping it in the trash is perfectly acceptable. The money, obviously, should be deposited in the children’s savings accounts and toys or clothes can be disposed of when she gets rid of her own old belongings.

[Anonymous]

Madge, if you send the kids gifts could I ask that you not include so much candy? It’s not allowed in school lunches and too much at home means our dentist is making big money on us these days! Becky and Bobby love stickers and coloring though so crayons are just as much, if not more fun for them. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I’d hate to see you wasting money on something they really can’t enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Madge, if you send the kids gifts could I ask that you not include so much candy? It’s not allowed in school lunches and too much at home means our dentist is making big money on us these days! Becky and Bobby love stickers and coloring though so crayons are just as much, if not more fun for them. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I’d hate to see you wasting money on something they really can’t enjoy.

A lovely reply.

You should embrace and appreciate your MILs effort to do some loving reach out to your children. The more people they have in their lives who love them the better. Instead of getting angry, be grateful she is making an effort. It might be that she she thinks this is what they love to get. Would lovingly tell her that as they are so young, the volume of treats/candy is way too much for them and the family. Would send something similar to the PP above and suggest some smaller portions of treats (if that brings her happiness to send), or suggest other things they would enjoy (movie tickets, games, whatever). There is no good reason to insult or hurt her feelings over this - would be unkind and unhelpful in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also if I am trashing it because I think it's unhealthy, it feels wrong to donate it.

So you are ok with others, like teachers and troops, buying more and more candy while your goes in the landfill to pollute?

Not everyone eats boatloads of candy at once, so they can ration it. Leave it out at work, donate it to the local library, or school. Don't police others and keep crap out of the landfill.

Or woman up and tell your relatives you are tossing everything so they can give stuff to people who would enjoy it.

I have told my relative we throw it out. That has no impact on the amount we receive. Keep in mind we receive more than OP.

Where I am, charities don't want candy; I couldn't find anyone to take it when I did try. I find it kind of bizarre how worked up some of you are at the idea that candy is thrown out.

You could just hand it to a homeless person, someone who rarely gets a treat.

[Anonymous]

My MIL does the same but much more than 10 pounds. At Christmas she sends a chest (yes, in the old timey sense) of boxes of cookies- I’m taking like a dozen boxes of cookies. It’s maddening. I just give it away. I send bags of candy to the school with the kids for the teacher’s lounge, and to work, and anywhere else I can pawn it off.