I wish my husband was smarter than me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your friends husbands, sweet, kind, generous and great lovers? Do their husbands adore them? You may be well ahead of the game in terms of being happy.

You never truly know someone unless you actually live with them. I know many people on their second marriages, who are having enormous regrets about leaving their first spouse, because (they had it in their head) that they wanted someone "smart". Traded one set of problems for another, and would take their old life back in a minute, if only they could. PP here. I think other PP makes a great point by saying that OP's husband is not really a "doofus", but instead, lacks certain skills, which can be taught. Common sense (for example) can *not* be taught.

Really??? I don't know anyone who has regrets about their first divorce. Not one single person.

Ditto.

I also notice that people do much better in LIFE with street smarts/avg book smarts than with great book smarts/little common sense. It is also a real struggle living a life with the latter. You end up in the Mother/Son role very quickly. = Unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also notice that people do much better in LIFE with street smarts/avg book smarts than with great book smarts/little common sense. It is also a real struggle living a life with the latter. You end up in the Mother/Son role very quickly. = Unattractive.

+1.

I have PhD in physics from Stanford, enormously successful in finance and my wife has a BS in education from JMU. On paper, I am much more superior than she is; however, in reality, I am so thankful that she is so much smarter than I am in dealing with the children, finances, tell me what to wear and most importantly, how to tell me not to act as an a__hole. They didn't teach me common sense @Stanford. Fortunately, I married one that does and I am so thankful for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somehow, I now have a mental picture of you and your husband being like Lois and Peter Griffin.

That's awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also notice that people do much better in LIFE with street smarts/avg book smarts than with great book smarts/little common sense. It is also a real struggle living a life with the latter. You end up in the Mother/Son role very quickly. = Unattractive.

+1.

I have PhD in physics from Stanford, enormously successful in finance and my wife has a BS in education from JMU. On paper, I am much more superior than she is; however, in reality, I am so thankful that she is so much smarter than I am in dealing with the children, finances, tell me what to wear and most importantly, how to tell me not to act as an a__hole. They didn't teach me common sense @Stanford. Fortunately, I married one that does and I am so thankful for that.

+1

Every smart guy needs a smart girl with street smarts and a good heart. Can't buy that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be grateful for what you have. My smart husband was abusive. I can't tell you how many times I kicked my own ass for buying into it. I would rather have a less smart husband than an abusive one,

+1

Zero life/coping skills leads to violent outbursts. Add to that how he grew up, and it is a ticking time bomb. OP, the grass is NOT always greener. Stay in your own lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand what you mean OP.

You want your husband to be a leader.....a rock for you.

Someone who has the ability to look out for you.

Great husband qualities for sure!

+1

Strength and smarts are not often in the same package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also notice that people do much better in LIFE with street smarts/avg book smarts than with great book smarts/little common sense. It is also a real struggle living a life with the latter. You end up in the Mother/Son role very quickly. = Unattractive.

+1.

I have PhD in physics from Stanford, enormously successful in finance and my wife has a BS in education from JMU. On paper, I am much more superior than she is; however, in reality, I am so thankful that she is so much smarter than I am in dealing with the children, finances, tell me what to wear and most importantly, how to tell me not to act as an a__hole. They didn't teach me common sense @Stanford. Fortunately, I married one that does and I am so thankful for that.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a wonderful husband. Have you given him a chance to take on important life decisions? He may defer to you since you do a great job, but you could support him through making some decisions. My husband is very intelligent, but he lets me take care of the finances because he knows how much I like to do it. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

My daughter's dad is slightly smarter than me (5-10 IQ points maybe?), but I'm the one with the executive functioning skills and more common sense. It can be frustrating sometimes - he can be a bit condescending at times when he thinks he knows more about something (and sometimes he does, which is fine with me), but doesn't seem to acknowledge that very often, I'm the one who's keeping our lives running smoothly.

So there are downsides to having a spouse/co-parent who is the smarter one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter's dad is slightly smarter than me (5-10 IQ points maybe?), but I'm the one with the executive functioning skills and more common sense. It can be frustrating sometimes - he can be a bit condescending at times when he thinks he knows more about something (and sometimes he does, which is fine with me), but doesn't seem to acknowledge that very often, I'm the one who's keeping our lives running smoothly.

So there are downsides to having a spouse/co-parent who is the smarter one.

x10000

[Anonymous]

I think this is a common pairing. The husband is more "learned," and often better at understanding involved, abstract stuff, but the wife is better at just "getting things done."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a common pairing. The husband is more "learned," and often better at understanding involved, abstract stuff, but the wife is better at just "getting things done."

Nutty Professor Boy + Taking Care of Business Woman sounds like a recipe for unhappiness. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a common pairing. The husband is more "learned," and often better at understanding involved, abstract stuff, but the wife is better at just "getting things done."

Nutty Professor Boy + Taking Care of Business Woman sounds like a recipe for unhappiness. No thanks.

Not quite.