Husband's friends wife not friendly

[Anonymous]

My husband was really good friends with an across the street neighbor. They went on trips, invited my husband to their parties, chit chatting daily. I never went over to their house because I got the vibe his wife did not like me.

The man was a habitual liar, probably fine tuned from his time as a cop, and I kind of think he told his wife I put the moves on him. If she had asked I would have told her I wasn't interested in a fat ass lying Kenny Rogers lookalike.

The man keeps in touch with my husband. I didn't need to be her friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be polite and don't expect anything. Why doesn't your DH just hang out with his friend on his own?

We don't usually do separate things because we have limited time to spend with each other. Plus I like his friend too. There is nothing terribly wrong about his wife, it just hurts when it feels like she rejects my friendship. I'm not looking for a BFF, but just having a better connection to her would make things easier.

You sound needy. You and DH should start doing separate things. Not every weekend but sometimes.
I have my own friends. I have no interest in a friendship with DH’s friend’s wives. Sure, when we invite them over I am nice and chat but I would NOT be building a friendship there.

This.

I have a demanding career and young kids. I really don't have the luxury of time for new friendships. I'll be polite and friendly when I see you, but I won't gossip...and I'm not stupid enough to share personal info about me or my family that could potentially be shared with the other house fraus at school. When I see you at sporting events (where I spend my weekends), I'll say hello and quickly exchange small talk. But then I actually want to watch my kid play and chat with my husband and other children.

My husband is very social and friends with everybody. And that's great. But I'm more introverted and don't feel the need to chat all the time. That doesn't make me a weirdo or a bitch.

No, but the above definitely makes you a bitch.

Also, in the interest of actually...you know, staying relevant to the thread: in this situation, I think the (valid) concern when it comes to personal information would be that things shared with OP would be shared with OP's husband. I know I always feel cognizant of that when sharing with someone we are couple friends with, as opposed to my independent friend.

You obviously aren't surrounded by women who gossip. I am. I quickly learned my lesson, and now I don't share anything personal with any of the neighborhood moms or moms at school---even the ones who are married to my husband's friends. I'm sure this bothers some women, but I have no interest in sharing personal info with people who aren't my closest friends.

And men don't share personal info with other men. They just don't. But women most certainly do tell their husbands whatever they hear or think or observe.

Certainly there are women that gossip. I'm not sure that it's an issue, not sure at all what the issue is because there are other things to talk about besides other people.

[Anonymous]

OP, you said in your original post that this woman was never overtly rude to you. Then you said she walked right past you and would say goodbye to everyone but you. That is overt rudeness. If you want, call her on her shit the next time you see her (since she doesn't respond to your texts). If you don't want to engage, then just ignore her and stop caring. Not everyone in life will like you, and you won't like everyone. I appreciate that it must suck in a small community like the one you're in, but you need to either do something or let it go. This waffling in the middle and wondering why me is a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be polite and don't expect anything. Why doesn't your DH just hang out with his friend on his own?

We don't usually do separate things because we have limited time to spend with each other. Plus I like his friend too. There is nothing terribly wrong about his wife, it just hurts when it feels like she rejects my friendship. I'm not looking for a BFF, but just having a better connection to her would make things easier.

You sound needy. You and DH should start doing separate things. Not every weekend but sometimes.
I have my own friends. I have no interest in a friendship with DH’s friend’s wives. Sure, when we invite them over I am nice and chat but I would NOT be building a friendship there.

This.

I have a demanding career and young kids. I really don't have the luxury of time for new friendships. I'll be polite and friendly when I see you, but I won't gossip...and I'm not stupid enough to share personal info about me or my family that could potentially be shared with the other house fraus at school. When I see you at sporting events (where I spend my weekends), I'll say hello and quickly exchange small talk. But then I actually want to watch my kid play and chat with my husband and other children.

My husband is very social and friends with everybody. And that's great. But I'm more introverted and don't feel the need to chat all the time. That doesn't make me a weirdo or a bitch.

No, but the above definitely makes you a bitch.

Also, in the interest of actually...you know, staying relevant to the thread: in this situation, I think the (valid) concern when it comes to personal information would be that things shared with OP would be shared with OP's husband. I know I always feel cognizant of that when sharing with someone we are couple friends with, as opposed to my independent friend.

You obviously aren't surrounded by women who gossip. I am. I quickly learned my lesson, and now I don't share anything personal with any of the neighborhood moms or moms at school---even the ones who are married to my husband's friends. I'm sure this bothers some women, but I have no interest in sharing personal info with people who aren't my closest friends.

And men don't share personal info with other men. They just don't. But women most certainly do tell their husbands whatever they hear or think or observe.

DP here. There are other things to talk about, you know, but you seem hell bent on making a point by snubbing other women. Interesting.

I don't snub anyone. Rather, I commented on the OP's statement that the woman doesn't share personal info with her. I get it. I don't share personal info either, and that's what I explained. I'll chit chat, keep it breezy, etc. but I'm not going to share things with a casual acquaintance the way I would with a friend.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't have to be friends with you. Back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't have to be friends with you. Back off.

Wow, why so angry? Op isn't asking her to "be friends" (it's cool, we know you have none, given your demeanor). Really, the ability to be civil for an hour or two shows decent upbringing, that's all. OP, maybe she is from a broken home, or abused, or saw a parent murdered by a step parent - something really has to be wrong with her, for her to not be able muster up one or two hours of very basic innocuous civility. Fell bad for her, but don't kiss her feet - treat her the way she treats you, since that is what she is accustomed to (mistreatment). Obviously, she has issues which were present long before you came into the picture; especially if she can't fathom conversation other than gossip. I can't say I have ever heard of such a thing, but some people have crap lives, and want the same for others (they don't understand that they can not possibly make it happen). If you don't know WTH anger she is coming from (see PP), be grateful.