Husband tried to commit suicide

[Anonymous]

NP posting here.

I hope OP will come back and update us but only when she has time because her DH is in a psychiatric ward. I hope her silence here means she's busy dealing with doctors to figure out how best to get her husband professional treatment.

OP, unless you can go without ever sleeping again; without ever having to leave him long enough even to take a shower -- he needs to be in in-patient care until he is stable enough that you will not have to stay awake and with him 24/7. People who want to kill themselves WILL find a way to do it even if they say they won't. Some forms of suicide only take that moment that you're in the shower, or dashing to the store, or falling asleep because you think he is asleep too. If those sound like scare tactics on my part, they are meant to be just that. Please don't try to handle this on your own.

An actual attempt at suicide is a huge indicator that there will be another attempt if the person is not given intensive help. And a spouse is not qualified to be the sole giver of that help. That is not a criticism of you. If he had cancer, you would not keep him home and try to give him chemo that you came up with yourself. Please look on his mental illness the same way, AS an illness, and get him professional help, and in a case of attempted suicide, that means hospitalization followed by rigorously followed psychiatric help and possibly medication and maybe family therapy involving you as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel for you. What kind of help is he getting? He needs more help ASAP than you are able to provide for him.

I would suggest calling the suicide prevention hotline. They will help you figure out what to do next.

He’s sleeping right now after essentially being up for over 24 hours.

I’d call ASAP tomorrow morning. I’d personally take him to iNova iPAC, they’re open. If you can’t get him up take him tomorrow morning. I’ve been in his boat, it’s a tough thing. Ironically, for guys it stinks because we’re on our own. Wives/GFs will dump you off at the first sign of trouble like this as they don’t want to take the responsibility of dealing with it.

You got that right! Why should we want to or have to deal with someone unstable like that? I m single, and if I were in a relationship with a suicidal man, I would end it ASAP and not look back. I am NOT a therapist, and it is not my role to play one in a relationship. Someone trying to kill themselves is not my problem or responsibility. Grown people are responsible for themselves.

That’s why you’re single, incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself. Have fun being dying alone

She is thinking of herself. Rightly so. If a woman doesn't look out for herself nobody else will. And she is also thinking of future children (and finances. and animals. and jobs, etc. etc.) Life gets more difficult, there is no reason at all to deliberately handicap yourself with a husband with mental illness before you have children. You need a partner, not a 2nd job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel for you. What kind of help is he getting? He needs more help ASAP than you are able to provide for him.

I would suggest calling the suicide prevention hotline. They will help you figure out what to do next.

He’s sleeping right now after essentially being up for over 24 hours.

I’d call ASAP tomorrow morning. I’d personally take him to iNova iPAC, they’re open. If you can’t get him up take him tomorrow morning. I’ve been in his boat, it’s a tough thing. Ironically, for guys it stinks because we’re on our own. Wives/GFs will dump you off at the first sign of trouble like this as they don’t want to take the responsibility of dealing with it.

I'm a woman. My jaw just dropped! PP, that's horrible and I'm sorry you were treated that way!

When my XH tried to kill himself, both his new wife and I tried to support him. He fought all of our attempts to get him into treatment, in patient and outpatient between the two attempts and to keep him in outpatient care after the second attempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel for you. What kind of help is he getting? He needs more help ASAP than you are able to provide for him.

I would suggest calling the suicide prevention hotline. They will help you figure out what to do next.

He’s sleeping right now after essentially being up for over 24 hours.

I’d call ASAP tomorrow morning. I’d personally take him to iNova iPAC, they’re open. If you can’t get him up take him tomorrow morning. I’ve been in his boat, it’s a tough thing. Ironically, for guys it stinks because we’re on our own. Wives/GFs will dump you off at the first sign of trouble like this as they don’t want to take the responsibility of dealing with it.

You got that right! Why should we want to or have to deal with someone unstable like that? I m single, and if I were in a relationship with a suicidal man, I would end it ASAP and not look back. I am NOT a therapist, and it is not my role to play one in a relationship. Someone trying to kill themselves is not my problem or responsibility. Grown people are responsible for themselves.

That’s why you’re single, incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself. Have fun being dying alone

She is thinking of herself. Rightly so. If a woman doesn't look out for herself nobody else will. And she is also thinking of future children (and finances. and animals. and jobs, etc. etc.) Life gets more difficult, there is no reason at all to deliberately handicap yourself with a husband with mental illness before you have children. You need a partner, not a 2nd job.

That's fine (sort of) for casual friends-with-benefits, but I'm not sure why you would bother getting married or be in a long term relationship if you are just going to dump someone when the going gets rough. If know that deep-down, you're a lone wolf, don't make a commitment to someone that you are unable, or unwilling, to keep.