When someone tells you that you have already told them something

[Anonymous]

DH does this to to me a lot. I go off and cry afterward. I don't have much to talk about and my memory is failing, so I repeat myself a ton. I think he should just be gracious about it.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s rude. I enthusiastically say “oh, I remember that…!” or something similar. But I noticed my 80 year old mother gets irritated with her friends for this which I think is mean and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With aging parents, the same stories get repeated frequently.

Aging husbands, too.

[Anonymous]

Had a GF who started saying that to me about 3 weeks into the relationship. I told her, listen, you talk so damn much (about 99% of crap I couldn't care less about) that at best, I can retain maybe 15% of what you say on a good day so you'll just have to deal with it.

We lasted one more week during which she never did shut up. Right off the hot/crazy matrix chart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD so I honestly don't always remember who I've talked to about what. I'm not offended if someone gently tells me that I've already talked about something. Sometimes I'll even ask.

Generally if someone is starting in on a story I've heard before, I will try to gently move them towards any update on the situation. Or I'll move to the punchline myself to share the emotion with them. I do have a friend who tends to be self-centered and judgemental who will share the same long stories over and over and over again so sometimes I do get more blunt than I should ... but sometimes I'm just over hearing about how the world is conspiring against her or how so-and-so is an idiot.

It’s funny! My sister and I have ADD and we always remember details what we’ve said to whom and who tells is things. We were surprised to learn that’s not the case for everyone and the oggi remembering this level of detail was an ADD thing.

[Anonymous]

My husband will repeat the same things and stories and anecdotes the same people and actually preface it with " I probably already told you this ." And it goes on with exquisite detail and the same cadence. He cares not. People are largely polite, but it's best when they speak up.

[Anonymous]

Not rude. I mean, I’ve already told them. There is a nice way to say it and a jerky way to say it, of course. But the statement isn’t rude.

[Anonymous]

If you have this problem, then maybe stop over sharing every single thing that happens to you with people? Then you won’t have the problem of having repeated a story.

[Anonymous]

My friends tell me, but in a very comforting way, to mean that this is important to me, and they recall that I already described some of the situation. I do the same. It's validating, and helpful, because then when you give an update, you don't have to re-explain the entire story.

It's not negative or rude in the slightest.

[Anonymous]

Its fine. If you just say "oh yeah, I think you mentioned that" then it's less brutal then "yes you already told me"

I had a neighbor who EVERY time I saw her in the street would tell me about her dog back in South Africa who didn't like black people. It was an awful story and one time I just blurted out "yes you told me about your racist dog before" and that was the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you repeatedly telling the story about how you got Shania Twain to eat a food she didn't like?

That story wouldn't impress me much.

[Anonymous]

I usually chime in with, yes, I remember you telling me about that. And usually they continue anyway. I let it go once or twice but if it's repetitive and they don't actually have dementia, I more forcefully remind them i know all about it.

[Anonymous]

My mom asked me to do this, so I only tell her. DH and I do kid each other when we repeat ourselves. Context matters.

[Anonymous]

If someone tells me that, I say, "I know, but humor me."

[Anonymous]

To make you aware of your cognitive decline.