Curfew for my 20 y/o living at home?
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Anonymous
| OP, where do you live? You say DD doesn't have a car, so if you live in a rough area of a city, it is legitimate to be concerned about a young woman taking public transportation and walking the streets alone after dark. It's not so much a question of curfew as of teaching DD to exercise good judgment. It's important to help our children learn street smarts and how to mitigate risks - and that works a lot better than simply saying "no" and fruitlessly trying to impose that from the top down. |
Anonymous
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I think we're conflating a number of things here. I bet most posters live in upscale areas of the city and their kid would be driving home into a nice driveway. If that's the case in this situation, then my personal rule would be "midnight unless you let me know (before I go to sleep) that it will be later." That's just a courtesy so I don't worry when I realize she isn't home at 2am. In the case of post-midnight, I'd probably ask who she would be with, etc. (I may even text her along the way to make sure everything is fine.)
If she would be taking metro/bus home, then I'm with the poster-- Depending on the amount of street traffic, I don't walk home from the metro after dark and I wouldn't want my daughter to, no matter her age. In that case, I'd suggest figuring out a protocol. For instance, agreeing on a spot that is safe after dark to catch an Uber agreeing to pay for her to Uber home. (Or if you don't trust Uber, then suggesting she take metro to a hotel and catch a taxi from there?) Or agreeing that she has to Uber/taxi with someone else. A 20 year old really can't be expected to be home by 8 every night, but in a city, there are very real safety precautions to think of. |
Anonymous
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This has to be a troll!!
When visiting my parents, we can't stay out past midnight. It's my parents rules and it drives me insane. They say that if we're out later it wakes us up. I don't mind it so much now that we have kids and we're older, but still annoying. 8pm would be a deal breaker. |
Anonymous
WTH? How old are you? Are you leaving your kids with them to watch? |