What do you do that makes you an *sshole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I press the "Close Doors" button on elevators when I see or hear people coming. I work on the top floor and hate having to stop and 11 floors before mine.

When I finish drinking a glass of water at work, I put the empty/dirty glass in the office of someone who treats everyone poorly. Fun fact: I am not the only one who does this.

Wow. Not only an asshole but an idiot.

The Close Door button is supposed to be disabled in the US. ADA.

The ADA is so passe.

ADA as in Americans with Disabilities Act? What the heck does the close elevator door button have to do with disabilities? Can anyone explain this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm coming out of a metro train and other passengers are entering before I exit, I push them with my work bag.

I'm pretty sure in this scenario, they're the assholes, not you.

[Anonymous]

I circle by the samples I really like a Costco more than once. And I pretty much never buy those items. Not total a-hole status, I know. But the next one takes me there, I promise.

On hot days when people are generally very sweaty and smelly on the Metro, I put my bag in the seat next to me, put my earbuds in, and close my eyes. When you ask to sit there or ask for me to move my stuff, I pretend I can't hear you and I'm sleeping.

I also like to give tourists the wrong directions. Not the foreign ones because I understand their cell phone GPS may not work here, but domestic tourists are fair game.

[Anonymous]

I park in the parking spaces reserved for pregnant women/women with small children and in the spaces reserved for Vets.

If there's no fine associated with it, it's not a real law or real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I park in the parking spaces reserved for pregnant women/women with small children and in the spaces reserved for Vets.

If there's no fine associated with it, it's not a real law or real thing.

Yes, consideration and respect for others is not a "real thing." You, pp, win the contest.

[Anonymous]

I've heard many times that the close door button isn't supposed to work, but it absolutely does in my office building.

I use it all the time. I would never stick my arm in a closing elevator door to re-open it and consider that the real asshole move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard many times that the close door button isn't supposed to work, but it absolutely does in my office building.

I use it all the time. I would never stick my arm in a closing elevator door to re-open it and consider that the real asshole move.

Well that explains why it doesn't work in my office building...I'd always wondered.

Lots of people stick their arms in our building. So aggravating, but perhaps more so, are the ones that keep it there to continue the conversation they are having with someone outside.

[Anonymous]

After three days of solicitors coming to my door, one white guy tried to sell me meat two days in a row, I yelled at the next person who came to my door-- I don't want any! It turns out she was asking for directions and went to the next door neighbor to get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who is into all sorts of crazy paranormal hokum. She will speak about horoscopes, angel numbers, past lives, Antarctica is Atlantis, etc etc ad nauseam. Whenever she meets someone new and I am around I will bring up astrology or numerology and get her started on a tangent and just watch the person's face as it dawns on them how crazy she is.

Seriously last week she was trying to convince me the Earth is hollow.

PS the only time I felt bad doing this is when her date went to the bathroom and never returned during a wedding.

But .... but ... how does she think trees stay upright? How does she think flowers bloom? Does she think trees and flowers are taped to the top of the ground? Krazy glued?

I've never asked her but now I am going to!! She thinks Lizard People/Elite helped the Nazi's flee to Antarctica, which is the Lost City of Atlantis, and then enter into the hollow earth. Where they now control our minds or some crazy BS like that.

Doesn't it make you feel bad, using your relative's mental illness as a conversation starter/joke? I work with people with psychosis/delusions - your aunt thinks this way because she's sick and this is how her brain interprets the world. You think a younger relative wouldn't treat it like a funny party trick. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Write snarky responses on DCUM.

Classic

[Anonymous]

Attention *ssholes with dogs: if you let your Fido pee or poop on my small flower bed a sprinkler will pop up furiously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tailgate people who are driving way under the speed limit, or pass them on the right, in the hopes that they either get the hell out of my way or at least realize that everyone behind them hates them. In the absence of heavy traffic, there is no excuse for going 25mph on a Beltway on-ramp. People who cannot grasp this should drive on highways.

Have you ever wondered why people drive a little slower or more cautiously? The could be old, sick, physically impaired.

I'm not talking about "a little slower." I'm talking people who are going 30 in a 45, or 25 on a merge ramp. If you habitually cannot keep reasonably near the flow of traffic, you are a hazard and an obstruction and should not drive. Call a cab or an Uber or a Metro Access shuttle. The person who can't put their foot down on an on-ramp and tries to merge into traffic going 60 while they're doing 30 is also forcing everyone behind them to attempt to merge at that speed, since they can't get by, and that's hugely dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I press the "Close Doors" button on elevators when I see or hear people coming. I work on the top floor and hate having to stop and 11 floors before mine.

When I finish drinking a glass of water at work, I put the empty/dirty glass in the office of someone who treats everyone poorly. Fun fact: I am not the only one who does this.

Wow. Not only an asshole but an idiot.

The Close Door button is supposed to be disabled in the US. ADA.

The ADA is so passe.

ADA as in Americans with Disabilities Act? What the heck does the close elevator door button have to do with disabilities? Can anyone explain this?

So people don't shut the door on the blind guy with a cane; person on crutches; someone who is generally unstable on their feet; and, the elderly.

Mostly thought it's to piss off impatient people who pointlessly poke at the button.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who is into all sorts of crazy paranormal hokum. She will speak about horoscopes, angel numbers, past lives, Antarctica is Atlantis, etc etc ad nauseam. Whenever she meets someone new and I am around I will bring up astrology or numerology and get her started on a tangent and just watch the person's face as it dawns on them how crazy she is.

Seriously last week she was trying to convince me the Earth is hollow.

PS the only time I felt bad doing this is when her date went to the bathroom and never returned during a wedding.

But .... but ... how does she think trees stay upright? How does she think flowers bloom? Does she think trees and flowers are taped to the top of the ground? Krazy glued?

I've never asked her but now I am going to!! She thinks Lizard People/Elite helped the Nazi's flee to Antarctica, which is the Lost City of Atlantis, and then enter into the hollow earth. Where they now control our minds or some crazy BS like that.

Doesn't it make you feel bad, using your relative's mental illness as a conversation starter/joke? I work with people with psychosis/delusions - your aunt thinks this way because she's sick and this is how her brain interprets the world. You think a younger relative wouldn't treat it like a funny party trick. Sad.

Not so fast, there. I work in mental health as well and you can be into this stuff, and even know that it's wacky without it being mental illness. I wouldn't Iintroduce people on a topic that I knew was not common ground, but that's just awkward hosting abilities, not an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I park in the parking spaces reserved for pregnant women/women with small children and in the spaces reserved for Vets.

If there's no fine associated with it, it's not a real law or real thing.

Funny, I put up signs at the far end of the parking lot that read "Reserved for Crossfitters and Marathon Runners".