Would you pay your kids tuition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. They did not ask to be born. We wanted a family and so we had kids. If we could not have afforded basics - and college education is basic - we would not have had them.

College education is not basic. The vast majority of families in this country cannot afford to pay for college outright - that's why people are loaded to their eyeballs in school loan debt. Higher education for the sake of education is, and has always been, a luxury of the rich. For the rest of the population it's a means to employability, and an incredibly expensive investment . You do your kids a disfavor by allowing them to believe college is basic.

The PP didn't say that a loan-free college education was a basic; s/he said that a college education was a basic. Given the fact that 40% of 18-24 year olds were in college in 2014, and that number has consistently risen year after year, the facts on the ground disagree with you.

By your own facts, the majority of young adults in this country (60%) DO NOT attend college. And of those who do, most are loaded in debt. I understand, that in a forum where many making $350K think they are middle class, college is basic, but the facts on the grounds say otherwise. Being given the opportunity to attend college, without having to shoulder any of the financial burden (as OP planning to do), is like winning a lottery ticket. Nothing basic about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing is that we are partners in a bit law firm, and also have a few houses paid in full.
When they graduate they will be even more spoiled than they were before they went to college because they will inherit each a house, and not to mention a job in their parents business. We already charted a path for them, and thats why I posted this. I would have liked them to be more independent and suffer a bit more as me and my spouse have suffered going through college and hs

Okay, now you've taken the troll thing one step too far. Give it a rest.

+1. Oy

[Anonymous]

Tuition is so overwhelmingly expensive. I think it can become impossible for new graduates to get out from under the loans. Also - their financial aid might be affected by your income.

Why not pay it but make them pay something manageable - like $5,000 per year? They can pay you back when they graduate or have them take out a loan for that amount. It's a lot of money to them.

I have to say that I wouldn't make my child pay for undergrad at all but I'd make him work over the summer at something useful to his career later on. I feel like I can afford it (not easily but I will manage) and I really WANT to provide that for him. I went to a little Ivy that I wouldn't have been able to afford on my own. I'm so grateful to my parents.

What are you going to do with all of your money? Isn't this what it's supposed to be for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing is that we are partners in a bit law firm, and also have a few houses paid in full.
When they graduate they will be even more spoiled than they were before they went to college because they will inherit each a house, and not to mention a job in their parents business. We already charted a path for them, and thats why I posted this. I would have liked them to be more independent and suffer a bit more as me and my spouse have suffered going through college and hs

You're either a troll or a jerk.

Either way, I'm sorry I just wasted minutes out of my day reading your shitty, baiting thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first twin got accepted in Harvard and my second got accepted in Yale and MIT
however being the cheapskate that I am, and wanting to teach them the value of the dollar am against paying for their education. And yes they are plenty spoiled and never have worked in their life. I could pay for both of their education today with cash but not sure if I should do it or not. What do you all think? I am leaning towards them getting a loan for their schools.

Okay, yeah right.....

[Anonymous]

So in case someone is still reading this post for insights into college tuition and payments (for if the OP is *not* a troll then I feel very badly for the poor (metaphorically poor) twins who're dealing with such parenting and such poor communication skills [and I am NOT referencing any ELL challenges -- the post doesn't read as though it's written by a non-native speaker anyway.....) despite OP's apparent skills as an attorney/landlord/etc.):

I was in higher education including college admissions and financial aid for 28 years until I stopped out two years ago. Unless things have changed drastically in that time, unless OP's children somehow emancipate themselves from him/her legally, then OP's assets will absolutely count towards any financial aid or loan qualifications the kids might have (save the $5500 loan a PP mentioned). I cannot fathom how even working 40 hours plus a week would yield enough funds for a student to attend Harvard or Yale WITHOUT significant financial aid. So, perhaps (if OP is 'real') the best option is the 'personal loan' (s)he could provide to the kids, with interest, as another poster mentioned. But for heaven's sake: please do not assume, parents, that if you are 'claiming' your children on income taxes, providing their health insurance, etc., etc., that they can fund their college tuition without significant assistance -- and if they don't qualify for financial aid based on *your* income (which is what the FAFSA uses to calculate aid) then it's very, very difficult for them to source funds to cover the tuition.

The personal example with which I'm most familiar, ironically, ends up with the student funding his first year on his own -- a situation that could only have sustained one year.....

My DH was the first in his family to attend college; his parents were very successful in many ways and his dad was a very highly-compensated executive in banking. My FIL refused to pay for DH to attend any college other than a local state university, citing 'he hadn't needed college himself and XX school was enough if a college really was necessary.' DH really wanted to attend the SLAC where he (and I) graduated, so he sought emancipation (which was denied) and scraped together all kinds of odd jobs and merit scholarships and was able to fund his first year. There was no way he could fund beyond that, though, as the merit scholarships (few and far between even in those days) were for one year only. He'd have needed to stop out, work two or three jobs full time, and then try and return later once emancipated.

By that first summer, though, DH's mom had convinced his dad that this 'just might' be a good investment and they supported and helped DH with the rest of his college tuition. Ironically, by the time their second child was ready for college five years later, there were no restrictions and my inlaws supported/paid for the entire bill without question. In other words, my FIL admitted that he had been wrong initially, and I have always admired his self-reflection.

I'm ordinarily all in favor of finding ways for students to 'own' their education, and in many people's eyes, helping fund the cost of college is the best way to do that. In a case like this (hopefully fictional) one, though, it's important to note that almost all funding will reflect and depend on the parents' or guardian's household income unless the student is legally emancipated and/or established as entirely independent. Whether or not I think such rules are fair is beside the point as I know many, many students whose parents gave them nothing physically, financially, or emotionally yet were considered 'responsible' by financial aid offices and forms. What is clear, though, is that the system is simply not designed to 'teach young adults lessons' about financial responsibility when those adults are still, legally, someone else's dependent.

PS If anyone reading this really wants to go to a particular college and is finding little or no support at home (whether because there is none to be had or because parents/guardians will not contribute), please don't despair entirely. Talk to a financial aid officer at the university NOW. One option could be to defer for a gap year so that you can earn enough money to help cushion tuition for a period of time. Don't give up until you've made sure to talk to an expert, and good luck.

[Anonymous]

So if you want them to learn about money - sit down and start talking about expectations. What have you told them up to this point in time? I assume you spoke with them when they were applying regarding what you were going to contribute?

Have them understand how you got to the position you did so that they have the opportunities they do.

Show them what college tuition is going to be - ask them what they feel comfortable contributing to cover.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think I would pay tuition and rooms and board and have them get a summer job if they want spending money.

Agree. This is what my parents did for me for undergrad, then I was on my own for grad school.