Minority Women at Work

[Anonymous]

I am black and work in a predominately white male industry as a techy (software). I find that if I don't initiate the relationship or work at making them comfortable with me then there will always be this awkwardness. Most of the time it is just ignorance. Not use to working around minorities or not use to working around women. Once they get to know you things work out great and you get some really good friends.Yes it can be a pain in the butt that you have to be the one to do this but it will make your life a lot better. Make the effort it will pay off.

[Anonymous]

they are untouchable in my industry and know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a foreigner that has been in the US for 15 years. It never crossed my mind that the distance that people keep was because of racism. I consider it cultural. People keep to themselves more in the states.

But I guess the new trend is to blame everything and everybody on racism.

Go for it OP if it makes you feel better.

You sound like an asshole so I'm guessing that's why people don't like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op are you an introvert? Do you enjoy socializing with others? Are you timid? Do you take the initiative to get to know your co-workers? I ask because I'm AA and I've worked with many white women and I don't have this problem. Then again I'm a social butterfly extrovert and it's easy for me to make friends.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a foreigner that has been in the US for 15 years. It never crossed my mind that the distance that people keep was because of racism. I consider it cultural. People keep to themselves more in the states.

But I guess the new trend is to blame everything and everybody on racism.

Go for it OP if it makes you feel better.

I sound like an asshole so I'm guessing that's why people don't like me.

NP. Fixed it for you

[Anonymous]

I am black and an ambivert and can turn it on and off when needed and have friends of all flavors at work, but I don't work where YOU work so I can't say that racism is at play. There are people at work I don't like and people who don't like me and I just chalk it up to we don't mix and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a foreigner that has been in the US for 15 years. It never crossed my mind that the distance that people keep was because of racism. I consider it cultural. People keep to themselves more in the states.

But I guess the new trend is to blame everything and everybody on racism.

Go for it OP if it makes you feel better.

I sound like an asshole so I'm guessing that's why people don't like me.

NP. Fixed it for you

Nope, beloved at my workplace, but the poster above sounds special and not in a good way. And so do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm South Asian, but born here. I definitely feel this way. Everyone he their own group and there isn't really one for me in my government office. Everyone is nice and I've found a group now, but it's taken a lot longer than a lot of people and I do think some of it is that people just don't have much experience with Asian-Americans.

where in government is this? there are lots of south asians/indians in government these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a foreigner that has been in the US for 15 years. It never crossed my mind that the distance that people keep was because of racism. I consider it cultural. People keep to themselves more in the states.

But I guess the new trend is to blame everything and everybody on racism.

Go for it OP if it makes you feel better.

I sound like an asshole so I'm guessing that's why people don't like me.

NP. Fixed it for you

Nope, beloved at my workplace, but the poster above sounds special and not in a good way. And so do you.

Nah, you posted like an douche and didn't like being called out for it. The only asshole in this thread is you

[Anonymous]

^an=a

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of white people assume that non whites don't want to be their friend so they don't try.

This is a pertinent point

AA and I can become friends with anyone at work except for a white person. They are the snobbiest and least friendly in my experience. I can get along with them, but I'm not eating lunch with them. Anyone on here who's thinking this isn't about race is in denial or is white.

I agree that they are the snobbiest and least friendly (for the most part) but how do you explain that they treat me (and American white woman) the same way. I've tried in my office to find a group to have lunch with, socialize with, everything with everyone and honestly the white women are the least accepting and least friendliest. When I even suggest a lunch or happy hour, they just look at me like I asked for their first born. I don't think it's a race thing in my office - more of a snobby-bitch thing. I'm now finding my own set of friends that are of various backgrounds, color, and ethnicities - but I still sort of feel like we're the little "outcast" group. DC is harsh.

White women do not go out of their way to befriend minorities. They automatically click with other white women and start their own clique. If you're a minority you have to work very hard to get in.

what I'm saying (i'm the pp you're quoting) is that I'm not a minority - I'm white. I'm a white woman and they treat me the same way - not friendly, don't include me, have their own clique and look at me like I'm 3-headed if I try to "get in"

This is OP. This is how i feel. There's a group of blonde late twenties/early thirties clique at my job. When I tried to talk to them they acted like I was Shrek or something. So weird!!

Why do they do that to you? I assumed it was because I was "different."

They will quit in a few years then direct their energy excluding families at their kids' schools. At least you won't have to deal with them all day at work.

[Anonymous]

^ maybe. You'll get a new younger group to replace them. Not sure why you are wasting your time trying to befriend these women. I'd stay far away from them. This post is making me realize way too many ppl put up with being treated like crap. Even all the post with ppl telling you to try so hard - No. That's crazy, work with them but stop trying to be friends you will lose your selfrespect. These women sound awful.