SAHMs, how much money do you have in your own name that is not joint?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see the pitchforks coming. Brace yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

+1
Same, one big pot. The 401Ks and IRAs are in our individual names because they were set up that way, otherwise, all of our financial accounts are in both our names, no need to have "my money" versus ours.

But if you have retirement accts in your own name, you absolutely do have money in your own name, whether you intend to share it or not.

Wow smarty pants! Obviously I know that. Retirement accounts can only be in one persons name. We are each other's primary beneficiary in the retirement accounts. The rest of our investment accounts, savings, etc. are in both names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I assume your 401k is rolled over to an IRA at place like Fidelity or Vanguard.

Wherever, go to their website.
Transfer $10,000 to your IRA account (from one of your joint accounts) and click "make a ROTH contribution for 2016".
Open a ROTH account and transfer $5000 to it (today or any day before April 18, 2017) for 2016.
Then repeat the process for 2017 (today or any day before April 16, 2018).

Then every January contribute the max allowable.

Every non income-earning spouse should be doing this every year!

This just makes good financial sense (no judgment about marriage necessary).

Not everyone has that kind of money.

Obviously, if you don't have $5,500 then this plan won't work for you.

OP here. I just moved over $11,000 to my IRA - $5500 for 2016 and $5500 for 2017. It's a start.

It's a very good start! Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Man. Women really can't win. If they dare want any money or independence on their own they are planning for divorce and aren't really in the marriage. But if they let DH handle it they are vulnerable and pathetic.

I don't think there is anything wrong or any "red flags" when a grown, educated woman wants to feel like she has some control over her finances. That is one reason I work. I have full faith in our marriage - I think we are one of about 10-20% of couples who have a good marriage after 10+ years (I think there are lot of crappy marriages in this country) but I like having some say in my finances. And no, DH is not controlling AT ALL but if I quit, he would be earning the money and it would be my earning power that would be slipping away.

The PP who thinks she will return to work after 26 years...or 16 years...or frankly 6 years....is delusional. 6 years maybe, but data shows you've lost substantial earning power that you likely won't make up no matter how long you work.

OP in your situation - it sounds like you feel the balance is way off. He works all the time, you work none of it. You do family stuff all the time and he is not part of that. Time to talk to your husband - and do some soul searching. If he scales back, are you willing to give up some of your luxuries? Downsize or move? You need to be honest. You can't have it both ways. Everything comes with a price. Personally it is a no brainer for me. We've made a lot of strategic career choices so we can both be home for dinner every night and not work weekends, and coach the teams and show up at school events. But in exchange we live in a small house and don't do a lot of vacations.

[Anonymous]

Can someone please explain to me why you need accounts in your "own name?"

Besides in the unlikely event that one spouse's assets would be frozen?

If you were to divorce, both your assets would be pooled and counted in the settlement, right?

(Except, as far as I understand, inheritances that have not been co-mingled).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's called marriage everything is ours. Idiots

"Idiots" is a harsh term. But this thread is reflective of why the divorce rate is so ridiculously high. I am the PP married for just over 30 years. Everything is joint. Divorce is not something we have ever even considered. Could it happen? Sure. An asteroid could also hit my house but I don't sit around preparing for it.

We tend to manifest exactly what we focus on. I believe our thoughts create our reality. If you are giving attention to the possibility of divorce, you are literally setting the event into motion.

My marriage is strong. I love my DH and he loves me. We are happy. And we will always be together. Those are the types of affirmations I repeat every day.

That's sweet (and I mean that sincerely) but sometimes husbands die, get disabled, or get laid off. Yes you would have his life insurance etc. but if you've been out of the workforce and it is years before Medicare kicks in, and you've got dependent children, you need health care, college savings, and other reasons you may need or want to get back in the workforce.

Not planning on divorce is only one part of an overall financial plan. I think all SAHMs should have an onramp plan and ALL women should a lot more knowledge about finances than many do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I assume your 401k is rolled over to an IRA at place like Fidelity or Vanguard.

Wherever, go to their website.
Transfer $10,000 to your IRA account (from one of your joint accounts) and click "make a ROTH contribution for 2016".
Open a ROTH account and transfer $5000 to it (today or any day before April 18, 2017) for 2016.
Then repeat the process for 2017 (today or any day before April 16, 2018).

Then every January contribute the max allowable.

Every non income-earning spouse should be doing this every year!

This just makes good financial sense (no judgment about marriage necessary).

Not everyone has that kind of money.

Obviously, if you don't have $5,500 then this plan won't work for you.

OP here. I just moved over $11,000 to my IRA - $5500 for 2016 and $5500 for 2017. It's a start.

It's a very good start! Congrats.

I am PP. I don't get it. If you got divorced, this money would be split evenly. I mean, it may make sense to move it from savings, where it cant grow, into an IRA -- but from a "my money" POV it is all fungible in a divorce, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please explain to me why you need accounts in your "own name?"

Besides in the unlikely event that one spouse's assets would be frozen?

If you were to divorce, both your assets would be pooled and counted in the settlement, right?

(Except, as far as I understand, inheritances that have not been co-mingled).

But to leave someone, you need available cash and can't wait around for the divorce money. I'm thinking abuse situation, etc.

[Anonymous]

^^Not saying that OP is in that situation, just that that's when it matters whether it's in your name versus his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Not saying that OP is in that situation, just that that's when it matters whether it's in your name versus his.

Aha.

Not SAHM, but I earn much, much less. But I always understood if we were to divorce all our accounts, even my meager ones, would be pooled and counted in the settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the goal of the retirement savings on your own? Is your DH's 5M not enough?

Isn't OP already retired?

OP here. When I mention going back to work, DH always tells me that I should consider myself retired.

That is very condescending. I couldn't live with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

Dr. Laura, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I assume your 401k is rolled over to an IRA at place like Fidelity or Vanguard.

Wherever, go to their website.
Transfer $10,000 to your IRA account (from one of your joint accounts) and click "make a ROTH contribution for 2016".
Open a ROTH account and transfer $5000 to it (today or any day before April 18, 2017) for 2016.
Then repeat the process for 2017 (today or any day before April 16, 2018).

Then every January contribute the max allowable.

Every non income-earning spouse should be doing this every year!

This just makes good financial sense (no judgment about marriage necessary).

Not everyone has that kind of money.

Obviously, if you don't have $5,500 then this plan won't work for you.

OP here. I just moved over $11,000 to my IRA - $5500 for 2016 and $5500 for 2017. It's a start.

How is this possible? Would you not file a joint tax return? The Phase-out starts at $184,000; ineligible at $194,000 to contribute into a Roth.
Makes me wonder why they wouldn't file jointly with a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Not saying that OP is in that situation, just that that's when it matters whether it's in your name versus his.

Aha.

Not SAHM, but I earn much, much less. But I always understood if we were to divorce all our accounts, even my meager ones, would be pooled and counted in the settlement.

Right but divorces aren't always easy peasy -- they can be contentious; they can be dragged thru the courts for a while; and it can take a while for the money situation to be worked out. If a SAHM wants to divorce and DH doesn't and it's a contentious circumstance -- he can make it REALLY hard for her to walk away bc she doesn't $ for an apartment, food, let alone a lawyer and she can't wait months for the divorce settlement money to arrive bc where should she live in the meantime? Even a low paying non SAHM is better off bc presumably she could at least go get herself n apartment and food -- bc presumably the job pays a living wage upon which her colleagues are able to live/eat even if they don't have a spousal income so she could do the same.

[Anonymous]

How can she contribute to a Roth if her husband is s very high earner and they file jointly? Makes me doubt her numbers altogether.