SAHMs, how much money do you have in your own name that is not joint?

[Anonymous]

What would be the goal of the retirement savings on your own? Is your DH's 5M not enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answering for my DW, the contents of her IRA, small pension (not yet vested), and what's in her wallet.

All of our accounts that can be joined are joined. The paid off house, the money in the mutual fund, the bank account, etc. We meant our vows; if I go early, everything is hers, and vice versa.

OP here. I would get everything if DH does go early. It is in his will and life insurance policy. We have no prenup or postnup. All our assets were acquired after we were married so no inheritances.

I just feel like I should have more in my name only.

It depends on your outlook on life, marriage, etc. We've got no nups either. I suppose our vows were the prenups and our kids are the post nups, ha. I don't think it bothers my wife because she knows we're in it together for life. We also joined all our accounts before we made the SAHP decision too, so it would be weird to split things up now. We'd have a joint IRA if that were possible.

OP here. I spend way more money than DH and he never says anything. Our finances were always joint when I was working. I had a nightmare yesterday where I had no access to money. I just feel like I should also be saving for retirement even if I am not working. DH has $5m as his goal for retirement. I am sure he will have several million in his retirement fund and he is contributing while mine has grown very little since I don't contribute anything.

PP here. With all due respect, it doesn't sound like you trust him enough to do anything but start saving for your own retirement. You refer to "his retirement fund" and "his goal" and so on. If you're working as a team, every penny of retirement money should belong to both of you. That's our approach here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answering for my DW, the contents of her IRA, small pension (not yet vested), and what's in her wallet.

All of our accounts that can be joined are joined. The paid off house, the money in the mutual fund, the bank account, etc. We meant our vows; if I go early, everything is hers, and vice versa.

OP here. I would get everything if DH does go early. It is in his will and life insurance policy. We have no prenup or postnup. All our assets were acquired after we were married so no inheritances.

I just feel like I should have more in my name only.

It depends on your outlook on life, marriage, etc. We've got no nups either. I suppose our vows were the prenups and our kids are the post nups, ha. I don't think it bothers my wife because she knows we're in it together for life. We also joined all our accounts before we made the SAHP decision too, so it would be weird to split things up now. We'd have a joint IRA if that were possible.

OP here. I spend way more money than DH and he never says anything. Our finances were always joint when I was working. I had a nightmare yesterday where I had no access to money. I just feel like I should also be saving for retirement even if I am not working. DH has $5m as his goal for retirement. I am sure he will have several million in his retirement fund and he is contributing while mine has grown very little since I don't contribute anything.

PP here. With all due respect, it doesn't sound like you trust him enough to do anything but start saving for your own retirement. You refer to "his retirement fund" and "his goal" and so on. If you're working as a team, every penny of retirement money should belong to both of you. That's our approach here.

Something else just came to mind. In our house, DW manages the money and funnels retirement funds proportionally into both of our accounts. As a result, we have very nearly equal IRAs. In your situation, perhaps you'd feel more at ease if you did something similar to avoid feeling like "his" IRA was on a rocket ship while "yours" was going nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answering for my DW, the contents of her IRA, small pension (not yet vested), and what's in her wallet.

All of our accounts that can be joined are joined. The paid off house, the money in the mutual fund, the bank account, etc. We meant our vows; if I go early, everything is hers, and vice versa.

OP here. I would get everything if DH does go early. It is in his will and life insurance policy. We have no prenup or postnup. All our assets were acquired after we were married so no inheritances.

I just feel like I should have more in my name only.

You are correct.

[Anonymous]

Almost 50k. But I think it would go against me if something changed. (Never!)

And since its in a retirement account, I'd actually be poorer because of it....

[Anonymous]

We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Answering for my DW, the contents of her IRA, small pension (not yet vested), and what's in her wallet.

All of our accounts that can be joined are joined. The paid off house, the money in the mutual fund, the bank account, etc. We meant our vows; if I go early, everything is hers, and vice versa.

OP here. I would get everything if DH does go early. It is in his will and life insurance policy. We have no prenup or postnup. All our assets were acquired after we were married so no inheritances.

I just feel like I should have more in my name only.

Why?

Sorry, but it makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

I have about the same in my own name as OP, $150K in TSP from federal employment before I quit to SAH.

There isn't much I can do to save individually as a SAHM, at least that would be protected. I could put $5,500 in an IRA in my name each year but it wouldn't be tax deductible. Since I have been married more than 10 years though, I do get spousal SS benefits, or my own SS benefits, whichever is higher.

So mostly, I focus on the big things. All of our accounts are joint, and our house is held jointly. DH is well insured, and I know how to access the big and small money (and I manage it). Finally, I question the value of a post-nup for someone who is already at home. It would be extremely disruptive and I could see how I'd come out the loser since everything, including DH's inheritance, is in a joint account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

[Anonymous]

About $750k between brokerage, 401k and cash. I had to think about it. I (and DH) consider everything to be ours, but that's just the portion that is in my name with him as TOD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

OP here. I have felt all kinds of resentment recently towards DH mostly due to his workaholic ways and opting out of family affairs. DH has always been generous towards me. I buy whatever I want whenever I want. I have started to wonder if we will be together forever though.

[Anonymous]

My husband started an IRA for me. I don't work. The statement came today. It has $159,000.

Everything else is joint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

OP here. I have felt all kinds of resentment recently towards DH mostly due to his workaholic ways and opting out of family affairs. DH has always been generous towards me. I buy whatever I want whenever I want. I have started to wonder if we will be together forever though.

It sounds like you've got some things you need to talk about in your marriage together. The solution isn't to start a separate 'stache of money as an ejection seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would be the goal of the retirement savings on your own? Is your DH's 5M not enough?

Isn't OP already retired?

[Anonymous]

So long as the joint are JTWROS and are substantial enough to carry you through any probate, it shouldn't matter.