My husband does this one small thing that is so rude

[Anonymous]

My DH does this. At times, while I'm standing right next to him, he'll rinse dishes and utensils thoroughly and place them in the sink in a fashion that's way more organized than the haphazard way he throws things into the dishwasher.

After ten years of high annoyance with it, I let it go. It's just not on his concern list and never will be, so I'm the person who deals with the dirty (and clean) dishes. NBD and it saves me the aggravation of reloading the pot on the top rack and the spatula thrown in haphazardly across the dinner plates.

[Anonymous]

I do the dishes, make the bed, clean the floors MY way.

I'm not one to complain about this sort of thing with my spouse. I am far from perfect and there are some things that I really HATE to do that my spouse does because I hate it. So, the little stuff like leaving dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor just doesn't even hit my radar screen with my spouse. That being said, I agree with this. If you want something done, do it yourself and if I do it and you don't like the way I did it, fix it yourself, don't complain to me. Again, fortunately we don't complain about this sort of thing in our house.

I feel very different with my kids though. They need to know how to take care of things and they need to be considerate of other people - it's my job to teach that. And, there is no quid pro quo with kids the way there is with a spouse. Now, if they ask me to do it, I'm happy to help - just don't leave your stuff lying around and expect me to be your maid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH takes the dishes and literally tosses them into the dishwasher without a thought about how it should be placed inside to maximize the number of dishes washed. Last night he put a cookie sheet on the top rack. Just laid it there horizontally. WTF?

But...he's really charming. And I kind of find it all adorable.

I have a rule: You can ask me to do something OR you can show me how to do do something , but you can't have both. If you want both you can do it your f*#cing self.

I do the dishes, make the bed, clean the floors MY way. If you don't like it then have fun doing it while I'm out with the guys.

Wow you sound amazing. Too bad I'm already married, how did I overlook you?!

So if DH loads the dishwasher but nothing gets clean because he didn't load them sensibly, I'm supposed to...let him put away dirty dishes? Have him run it over and over wondering why it's not getting clean? Let him run 4 loads when everything could have fit in one? (That might not be a big deal to others but we live on a very tight budget and that includes dishwasher soap.) Do it a second time myself?

Sometimes it's f'ing helpful to see how something gets done. In fact, DH requested I make a laundry chart so he could help with the laundry and would know how to treat everything.

[Anonymous]

You should tell your husband this instead of us. What can we do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cold be written your post. We have the exact same issue!

Ugh YES.

And for everyone saying lighten up...are we the only household that gets fruit flies?? Leaving your dirty dishes out just means I get a swarm of them in my face the next morning. Disgusting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell your husband this instead of us. What can we do?

I think she has and he still does it. Sometimes you need to let things slide. And this is it.

[Anonymous]

Fruit flies are hanmless. I bet your kids have a lots of allergies because you didn't let them play in the dirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fruit flies are hanmless.

Where's the vomit smiley?

[Anonymous]

boring post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP's wife shared this with him. Or vice versa. I don't know.

This issue can lead to divorce.

https://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

To whoever posted this: thank you. A really good rid. And a useful reminder that sometimes Doug it's our spouses preferred way isn't because they are right per se, but just means you love them enough to make an effort to do something for them even when (especially when!) you don't see the need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:boring post.

Huh. It was more interesting than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fruit flies are hanmless. I bet your kids have a lots of allergies because you didn't let them play in the dirt.

You're gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH takes the dishes and literally tosses them into the dishwasher without a thought about how it should be placed inside to maximize the number of dishes washed. Last night he put a cookie sheet on the top rack. Just laid it there horizontally. WTF?

But...he's really charming. And I kind of find it all adorable.

I have a rule: You can ask me to do something OR you can show me how to do do something , but you can't have both. If you want both you can do it your f*#cing self.

I do the dishes, make the bed, clean the floors MY way. If you don't like it then have fun doing it while I'm out with the guys.

Wow you sound amazing. Too bad I'm already married, how did I overlook you?!

So if DH loads the dishwasher but nothing gets clean because he didn't load them sensibly, I'm supposed to...let him put away dirty dishes? Have him run it over and over wondering why it's not getting clean? Let him run 4 loads when everything could have fit in one? (That might not be a big deal to others but we live on a very tight budget and that includes dishwasher soap.) Do it a second time myself?

Sometimes it's f'ing helpful to see how something gets done. In fact, DH requested I make a laundry chart so he could help with the laundry and would know how to treat everything.

I have a MSEE and think I can load a dishwasher. My wife is busy and appreciates my help around the house. When we first married she asked if I would make the bed after the weekly sheet change. She then complained that I didn't make proper hospital corners at the foot of the bed.
The next week I didn't volunteer to make the bed as I was busy with something I thought was important. She never mentioned hospital corners again.

It sounds like you just married an intellectual idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well what IS SO HARD About putting it on the dishwasher? Are they so f$%&ing lazy they can't take one more SECOND to open the dishwasher and put the dish in? WOW.

It's not hard. Just not necessary. DH or I will load the dishwasher when it's ready to be loaded. Until then it can sit on the counter.

It's ready to be loaded when it's empty and you have dirty dishes. Do you not empty it until you need the dishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just drives me crazy and I've told him a million times.

If the sink is empty, put your dish in the dishwasher. You know, that thing that is RIGHT next to the sink. It's fine if we've all eaten and there is a sink full of dishes. Ok, go ahead and add one more, no problem. But if I emptied the sink after dinner, don't put your late night snack dishes into my clean sink! It is like walking with muddy shoes on the floor someone just mopped when you can easily go around. I HATE emptying the sink and coming down the next morning to find dishes in it.

I know, I know, it's a small thing. However, it means I start off the morning irritated with him. The house is in a constant state of chaos due to the four people who live in it. Please, can you just give me the morning with a clean sink, for the love of God.

Didn't read anything you wrote past the subject line. Why? "My husband does this one small thing that is so rude" Doesn't matter what it is I will still say, if it's small then STFU.