My husband does this one small thing that is so rude

[Anonymous]

Buy some paper plates for after dinner snack...less expensive than a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW does this, drives me nuts. She will leave the entire day of dishes next to the sink

Yup. That's me. I hate dishes. I do almost everything else though so I don't feel bad about it.

Ha, I'm another DW who leaves dishes in the sink. Drives my DH crazy. We did have a marriage counselor who told him to lighten the eff up.

Not sure if this is helpful, but I know the more my DH nags me to do things the less I do them. Or he'll tell me I did things wrong (why did you load the dishwasher that way?" or "why would you vacuum like that?!") and the more critical of me he is, the less I do. When he's appreciative I do more. One of those "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" sort of things.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy some paper plates for after dinner snack...less expensive than a divorce.

This is OP. We do have paper plates and bowls. Yes, it is Kyle solve the problem but he doesn't use them. I'm not going to divorce but there's something about watching me clean the sink then dirtying it right after it's clean and I go upstairs that I find very rude. If there are dishes in the sink, then fine. But you saw that I just cleaned it! Again, it's like tracking mud on a floor that someone is moppibg when you can easily go around. Would you do that a stranger mopping? Neither I nor my husband would, so why does he do that to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teenage boys do this. My husband knows better.

My DS is way to young to do this yet, but DW is the WORST about pulling shit out, and just leaving everything sitting out for someone else to clean up. I'm not talking about dishes in the sink - I'd be very grateful if that was the extent of it - I'm talking about food, knives, cutting boards, dishes...she'll leave the peanut butter sitting open on the counter, and wander off...EVERYTHING...including stuff that spoils easily and quickly. She will immediately occupy every single inch of exposed counter, and dog forbid I'm clearing space to start, say, cooking dinner, if she doesn't immediately (and obliviously) take the space I just cleared for myself, the second I turn my back to get something.

My MIL is one of those OCD SAHMs who will clean up your dishes, cups, whatever, before you are even done with them, so I get that DW grew up with a personal cleaning brigade following her around; she's now a physician so she's also got a professional ass-wiping brigade following her around too. I'm not happy about being a personal ass-wiping brigade, but OTOH, I need to use the counter myself sometimes and I hate listening to the complaints about ants in the house (when she is the one feeding them), plus I am a grown man, like a tidy house, and can clean up after myself - I don't think it's too much to ask of others.

I know I need to clue her in about how rude this is, but in the moment I'm seeing red, so I hold my tongue. Not in the moment it feels petty (I feel like it would come across that way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If that is the only thing, you are lucky

NP. But is it the only thing? I suspect in most families with these issues it is canary-in-a-coal-mine type stuff - that you can point to this one, petty thing ut its really indicative of a broader problem. In our house that problem seems to be that my spouse thinks there is a magical dishwashing fairy (along with the TP replacing, essentials buying, travel planning, school and Doctor tracking, anything-rhat-keeps-a-family-running fairy). Or he just doesn't realize all these things need doing, or somehow just assumes they are my job because I don't know why. I'm not sure. And then he's the one who gets grumpy if the house isn't clean. Drives me bonkers.

[Anonymous]

I think you should be grateful the plate made it to the sink, instead of being left in the living room on the sofa.

[Anonymous]

I dont think that's rude at all. Kind of lazy, but not "rude"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be grateful the plate made it to the sink, instead of being left in the living room on the sofa.

Really? Grateful? Why do you think so little of men that you think getting a dish to a sink is an accomplishment?

[Anonymous]

My DH used to do the exact same thing and it drove me batty. He stopped when I told him we'd get roaches or ants and he'd be responsible. Our house is otherwise clean so I was probably lying but it worked!

[Anonymous]

Same here. It's super-aggravating!

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Just wait until you have teenagers in the house. The dishes don't even make it to the sink. DS loves his midnight snack and each morning all I can say is gross when I see the dishes. I keep nagging him to get them in the sink and rinse them - forget about the dishwasher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Just wait until you have teenagers in the house. The dishes don't even make it to the sink. DS loves his midnight snack and each morning all I can say is gross when I see the dishes. I keep nagging him to get them in the sink and rinse them - forget about the dishwasher.

I'm sorry, but this just isn't true in all families. And frankly, having two parents that set the right example from the start can help avoid it.

Leaving dishes anywhere except the dishwasher or the sink is 100% unacceptable in our house and results in not being allowed to eat outside the kitchen/dining room. I cannot imagine allowing dishes being left in other parts of the house as a few posters have mentioned. It's about setting & enforcing expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Just wait until you have teenagers in the house. The dishes don't even make it to the sink. DS loves his midnight snack and each morning all I can say is gross when I see the dishes. I keep nagging him to get them in the sink and rinse them - forget about the dishwasher.

I'm sorry, but this just isn't true in all families. And frankly, having two parents that set the right example from the start can help avoid it.

Leaving dishes anywhere except the dishwasher or the sink is 100% unacceptable in our house and results in not being allowed to eat outside the kitchen/dining room. I cannot imagine allowing dishes being left in other parts of the house as a few posters have mentioned. It's about setting & enforcing expectations.

Five kids. I had the same rule (they are grown now). I wasn't super strict about not eating outside the kitchen but if I found so much as a wrapper in their bedrooms, they lost that privilege. And dishes are never under any circumstances just left in the sink by kids. Maybe when you have a houseful you have to be more careful. It's easy for things to fall into chaos without rules.

My DH, however, is not a child. If he leaves a dish out, I roll my eyes and put it away.

[Anonymous]

A happy family is better than a clean house. Not advocating filth and grime and squalor, but rather advocating "pick your battles." I only wish this was the worst problem I had right now...

[Anonymous]

Well what IS SO HARD About putting it on the dishwasher? Are they so f$%&ing lazy they can't take one more SECOND to open the dishwasher and put the dish in? WOW.