What is wrong with my mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, by keeping her in your life while everyone knows what you said her husband has done is just going to push everyone to questions your story. Because why would you associate with your abuser's wife? You are sending mixed messages.

"Everyone" doesn't know, and my close friends do not second guess my story. You're really reaching, here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, OP. I am so struck by how you described childhood abuse and yet it wasn't the first thing on your list. Your mother repeatedly chose men over her children, allowed her children to be abused, abused them herself, and refused (and refuses) to acknowledge her mistakes.

She's not strange. She's mentally ill, and she's manipulating you even now.

She will always fight against any boundaries you try to set. That is who she is. SET THEM, protect yourself, and limit your interactions with her to a minimum. Is it possible she could be a decent grandmother? Sure. Maybe. But she was a shitty mom and still is.

SHE IS NOT SAFE TO BE AROUND YOUR KIDS!!! you need therapy to see this. NOT SAFE AT ALL!!!!! The fact that you don'e see this is very alarming. Please, please get some help. She should be cut off forever.

This is the OP, and I am okay with my mother being around my children once a year because I am always there. I would never, ever leave them alone with her, even for a second.

Her husband is never within even 1,000 miles of my home or my children, either... not that that is my only concern with having my children around her.

OP, at some point, you are going to leave the room to go pee and she is going to facetime Grabby Grandpa. She is not a safe person and you are teaching your daughter that she is a safe person. It's never a good idea to have unsafe people around your child.

My children are protected. Again, I don't leave my children unattended with her, ever. My children will have zero contact with my mother's husband. I have no trouble enforcing that boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, by keeping her in your life while everyone knows what you said her husband has done is just going to push everyone to questions your story. Because why would you associate with your abuser's wife? You are sending mixed messages.

Does this seem like nasty victim blaming to anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, by keeping her in your life while everyone knows what you said her husband has done is just going to push everyone to questions your story. Because why would you associate with your abuser's wife? You are sending mixed messages.

Yeah, you're really out of line here. I don't really care if anyone believes me or not. If someone doesn't believe me, it's not my problem. It's not my job to convince them. It's not my job to adjust my behavior so that it is in line with what the masses will expect from someone who is in my shoes.