Registered child sexual offender lives next door

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry to read your posts. My husband was sexually abused as a child by his fifth grade teacher. It happened many times. My husband was a chubby latchkey kid, and the teacher chose him because he knew he was vulnerable and would not tell his parents. The teacher abused dozens of children throughout the year, INCLUDING his own son.

DH and I have spent several years in therapy dealing with this incredibly painful issue in his past. It has left emotional scars that I can barely describe in words.

SO, when I read your posts, I felt so sorry that you have to live with this man next door to you. I haven't read every post on this thread, but I do know that these men have nearly a 100 percent recidivism rate. There is no cure for pedophilia.

So please do whatever you need to do to keep your children safe. Pedophiles are very wily and manipulative - you can never assume your children are safe from them. Best of luck to you. I will be thinking of you and your children.

[Anonymous]

OP, I recently had to do some research on molesters, unfortunately.

I am no expert of course. But from what I read, the kind of molester who rapes their own child (gag) is very different different from the kind that would steal a child in the middle of the night. There's a fundamental difference in the way of operating.

The father-rapist takes advantage of the easy opportunity of a child in his own home. Someone he's got access to. Someone he bathes, puts to bed, is left alone with, etc.

I posted earlier and i still think educating your children, getting a fence and an alarm system and a dog, and being vigilant are your best bets. This incident should put you on your guard, and your children may be better protected from ALL the creeps out there because of it.

If the lawyer told you not to talk to him, then I wouldn't.

I would make sure your neighbors know about him so that you can all work together to keep an eye out. Do you have lots of kids in the neighborhood?

OP please remember, this just means he got caught. There are almost certainly many like this near your house. And mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have several friends that were abused by their fathers, uncles, etc. and they were never reported to the police. I would not be at all surprised if this was the most common scenario. Registry or not, I brace myself for every neighborhood having at least one pedophile and watch my child accordingly.

I was the victim of the predator type. My mother supervised when we played outside and we were not allowed to speak to anyone we did not know. One night, he broke into our house and attacked me while everyone else was asleep. My mother did everything right, and yet he still found access. I supervise as my own mother did, but I also have two large dogs and an alarm system. My attacker was not and is not on any offender registry. Actually, he was never formally charged.

That is so awful and I am so sorry this happened to you. You are very lucky to be alive. Do you know how this person knew you were there? Did he know your family? Or was it a random attack?

I remember the case I mentioned earlier in this thread, the Shasta and her brother case. The man who stole them didn't know them. He saw the toys in the front yard and stalked the house for a while before he killed the family and took the kids. I keep my kid's toys out of the front yard now.

[Anonymous]

He was a stranger that lived a couple of streets away and must have seen me out playing. There was a break-in a few days before it happened. I am fairly certain it was him taking a look around.

He stole my underwear and brought a pair of scissors. The police said he planned to cut off my long hair. As soon as I got his hands off my mouth, I started screaming as loud as I could. He ran off. I realize the situation could have had a much worse ending for me. To this day, I cannot remember what happened between figuring out there was a stranger on me and screaming. My memory of the incident has a big blank spot and I never saw his face. The cops knew it was him and he had done something similar before, but there was no evidence to charge him.

I've always wondered why he wasn't in jail after doing something like this the first time. Also, why hasn't he been charged with any crimes against children in the 20 years since it happened? He seems like a very dangerous man. The cops said that he had "an alarming pattern of escalation". I find it hard to believe he was suddenly cured.

I guess my point is that there could be a monster living in your neighborhood without anyone knowing. I would not move because one has been identified, I would beef up my security.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was a stranger that lived a couple of streets away and must have seen me out playing. There was a break-in a few days before it happened. I am fairly certain it was him taking a look around.

He stole my underwear and brought a pair of scissors. The police said he planned to cut off my long hair. As soon as I got his hands off my mouth, I started screaming as loud as I could. He ran off. I realize the situation could have had a much worse ending for me. To this day, I cannot remember what happened between figuring out there was a stranger on me and screaming. My memory of the incident has a big blank spot and I never saw his face. The cops knew it was him and he had done something similar before, but there was no evidence to charge him.

I've always wondered why he wasn't in jail after doing something like this the first time. Also, why hasn't he been charged with any crimes against children in the 20 years since it happened? He seems like a very dangerous man. The cops said that he had "an alarming pattern of escalation". I find it hard to believe he was suddenly cured.

I guess my point is that there could be a monster living in your neighborhood without anyone knowing. I would not move because one has been identified, I would beef up my security.

Disagree 100 percent, and my husband is the person who was abused by his teacher. I would move, immediately. There are all different kinds of child predators, and the last thing OP needs is to have her neighbor break into her child's bedroom - or talk his way into picking her up from a class or whatever. I would NOT let my children be exposed to what my husband when through - no way. Plus, who in the world would want to have to worry about their neighbor all the time - and live with that uncertainty in their lives?

In the short term, I would beef up my security. Long term, I would MOVE. And as for the man who attacked you, I have no doubt he kept doing it to many more children in his future neighborhoods. Would you really want your children living next door to him now???

[Anonymous]

I think for me, it would be less about thinking this guy was somehow going to get to my child (kidnap, break in) etc., though obviously this would be a concern, but also would be feeling creeped out every time I walked out of the house.

I mean, we live busy lives and don't hang out with our neighbors all the time, but we know, and are friendly with, neighbors on each side, as well as the houses closest to us across the street. They are all great people and I trust them completely and feel like I could go to them for help, etc.

I think having a neighbor that I absolutely abhorred (let's face it, child rape is not something I'm going to get over) would be hard because I feel like you constantly have to think about that, and who wants to think about that frequently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Disagree 100 percent, and my husband is the person who was abused by his teacher. I would move, immediately. There are all different kinds of child predators, and the last thing OP needs is to have her neighbor break into her child's bedroom - or talk his way into picking her up from a class or whatever. I would NOT let my children be exposed to what my husband when through - no way. Plus, who in the world would want to have to worry about their neighbor all the time - and live with that uncertainty in their lives?

In the short term, I would beef up my security. Long term, I would MOVE. And as for the man who attacked you, I have no doubt he kept doing it to many more children in his future neighborhoods. Would you really want your children living next door to him now???

The guy who attacked me does not have anything on his record that would keep him from getting a job somewhere working with children. He is clearly an extremely dangerous man. What purpose is served to move away from one monster and next to an unknown one? I assume any of my neighbors could be monsters and watch my child like a hawk, even if we are friendly. Background checks and sex offender registries are not fool proof. It is downright dangerous to rely on them.

[Anonymous]

Back to the original question:

If you didn't know the guy next door, and he was registered - would you confront him or avoid him? Obviously, something is off kilter, so I would avoid him. Call me crazy.

Now I certainly would NOT let my kids play outside alone. Because some 120 pound white woman (regradless of the size/shape/color/whatever of the offender) is NOT going to deter; AND it might just call attention and/or aggravate. Let's not be completely stupid, people. Keep your kids safe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Disagree 100 percent, and my husband is the person who was abused by his teacher. I would move, immediately. There are all different kinds of child predators, and the last thing OP needs is to have her neighbor break into her child's bedroom - or talk his way into picking her up from a class or whatever. I would NOT let my children be exposed to what my husband when through - no way. Plus, who in the world would want to have to worry about their neighbor all the time - and live with that uncertainty in their lives?

In the short term, I would beef up my security. Long term, I would MOVE. And as for the man who attacked you, I have no doubt he kept doing it to many more children in his future neighborhoods. Would you really want your children living next door to him now???

The guy who attacked me does not have anything on his record that would keep him from getting a job somewhere working with children. He is clearly an extremely dangerous man. What purpose is served to move away from one monster and next to an unknown one? I assume any of my neighbors could be monsters and watch my child like a hawk, even if we are friendly. Background checks and sex offender registries are not fool proof. It is downright dangerous to rely on them.

Well, the man who attacked my husband repeatedly does have a record, has served jail time, and is now on a registry. The man is so devious that he will do anything to lure children to him. Anything. Through 15 years of teaching, he abused dozens of children in a wealthy, sophisticated NY suburban community.

It's too late to save my husband, but we can save the next generation of children. Move away. Yes, there are other monsters out there - and we don't know who they are. But if we DO know that there is a monster next door, we would do anything in our power to move away from him.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why OP doesn't just move. Does she get some sort of sick kick out of her post? WHY would anyone (with all their marbles) consider confronting someone like her neighbor?

[Anonymous]

I would try to find out if it violates the terms of his release for him to live next door to young children.