Registered child sexual offender lives next door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How do you know? Shouldn't you be sharing how you know? Don't people on this board have kids? How do people verify this to stay safe? My neighbor acts like she should be committed, should I just go around telling people that? Please share how to verify such information, and please also share how you know there is legally nothing you are obligated to do. I thought you had to disclose information about the property if you know about it?

That is why people think it is a fake post.

Sex Offenders have to register and there are umpteen search engines one can use to check their zip codes for sex offenders. Maybe be RESOURCEFUL and GOOGLE "sex offender searches". It's public info.

[Anonymous]

A PP is completely incorrect. You do not have to disclose, buyers can check these things themselves, it is public knowledge.

I would not move and would be grateful that I knew. It is the ones who have never been caught that scare me most. Just watch your kids and don't call on him to babysit.

How do you know when you move that a molestor who has never been caught lives next door? Your kids coaches ,teachers, uncles, cousins, troop leaders, friends parents could molest your kids.

Though distressing, you should be on alert for ANYONE who comes near your kids, we don't live in the Truman Show.

[Anonymous]

I would first check with the owner to find out how long he plans to live there. Express in as civil a way as possible to the owner your legitimate concern that this man has moved into a family neighborhood with lots of young children, that you don't think this is an appropriate or healthy environment for him, and that you hope it is just a temporary measure until he finds somewhere more suitable. You may even want to provide the owner with a significant financial incentive to move his tenant out. This guy really needs to be in an environment without kids everywhere. These people are recidivists.

There may also be conditions on his release that would prevent him from living within a certain distance of a school or who knows what--I'm not sure how you find that out but if he is, for example, violating his parole somehow that might get him to move on.

If not, I would go ahead and put your house on the market. Disclose AFTER you have an offer from a family/couple without children and maybe you'll have to discount your property accordingly. I think you will have trouble selling your property if you disclose, and I know you have no obligation to do so, but I think it is the morally right thing to do. Your kids have to come first, but I wouldn't be able to sleep either if I knowingly put other kids in danger.

Finally I agree re. increasing security and talking to your local police to express your concerns and make sure they are aware of the community's concern and are keeping an eye on him, and that he knows he is being watched.

[Anonymous]

PP here, for the person who said that you are better of knowing he is next door because anyone could be a molester, that is just silly. People who molest children WILL, if given the opportunity, do so again. So this is a very serious situation. Would you drive your kid in a car that is known to have bad brakes because any car can be involved in an accident?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How do you know? Shouldn't you be sharing how you know? Don't people on this board have kids? How do people verify this to stay safe? My neighbor acts like she should be committed, should I just go around telling people that? Please share how to verify such information, and please also share how you know there is legally nothing you are obligated to do. I thought you had to disclose information about the property if you know about it?

That is why people think it is a fake post.

I didn't think it was fake. Most states have sex offender registry, and there's a national one as well. I checked it before buying my townhouse in Virginia last year. These registries are not a big secret.

I also remember signing something during the home buying process that I knew they had no obligation to disclose anything. Anyone buy in Virginia recently and remember having to do that? I don't remember the details right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would first check with the owner to find out how long he plans to live there. Express in as civil a way as possible to the owner your legitimate concern that this man has moved into a family neighborhood with lots of young children, that you don't think this is an appropriate or healthy environment for him, and that you hope it is just a temporary measure until he finds somewhere more suitable. You may even want to provide the owner with a significant financial incentive to move his tenant out. This guy really needs to be in an environment without kids everywhere. These people are recidivists.

There may also be conditions on his release that would prevent him from living within a certain distance of a school or who knows what--I'm not sure how you find that out but if he is, for example, violating his parole somehow that might get him to move on.

If not, I would go ahead and put your house on the market. Disclose AFTER you have an offer from a family/couple without children and maybe you'll have to discount your property accordingly. I think you will have trouble selling your property if you disclose, and I know you have no obligation to do so, but I think it is the morally right thing to do. Your kids have to come first, but I wouldn't be able to sleep either if I knowingly put other kids in danger.

Finally I agree re. increasing security and talking to your local police to express your concerns and make sure they are aware of the community's concern and are keeping an eye on him, and that he knows he is being watched.

I wonder if the relatives of this neighbor see him as a potential reoffender rather than someone who made a one time mistake, never to do it again kind of thing. Sometimes people are unwilling or unable to believe their loved ones could be a sex offender. If that is the case, they will probably not welcome intrusive questioning from OP.

I think you should disclose this information to potential buyers even if they do not have children. That way they can be vigilant watching out for other children in the neighborhood and children who visit their house.

[Anonymous]

OP - just throwing this out there, but some people are the list because they were 19 years old and they had consentual sex with their 16 or 17 year old girlfriend.

This happened to my SIL - she found out a registered sex offender was in her neighborhood (also mom of a girl) and the offender was married to the minor he had had sex with (in other words, they kept dating and eventually got married when they were older).

So, before you do something drastic you might want to see if you can find out more. To me this kind of offense is a different deal than someone who rapes a child.

[Anonymous]

I thought pedophiles had to alert (via mail) families with children their status prior to moving in. OP, can you meet with the parents in your neighborhood to discuss your new neighbor? Maybe several of you can pay him a visit to let him know that you are aware of his background. Why would his parole officer okay him moving in? Contact your local police district and ask if he's even allowed to move there. This situation really makes me sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Why would his parole officer okay him moving in?

Because they have to live somewhere. And unfortunately there's no where in this country where people aren't having kids.
But I'm with you though. They should all be forced to relocate to a deserted island made only for child molesters. How can we get it done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - just throwing this out there, but some people are the list because they were 19 years old and they had consentual sex with their 16 or 17 year old girlfriend.

This happened to my SIL - she found out a registered sex offender was in her neighborhood (also mom of a girl) and the offender was married to the minor he had had sex with (in other words, they kept dating and eventually got married when they were older).

So, before you do something drastic you might want to see if you can find out more. To me this kind of offense is a different deal than someone who rapes a child.

There was a case similar to that in Georgia, I believe. High school guy had sex with his younger high school GF and got prison time for that.

But then there are the Mary Kay Letourneaus of the world as well. She's married to her victim now. But there's something wrong with that woman.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the sites!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Why would his parole officer okay him moving in?

Because they have to live somewhere. And unfortunately there's no where in this country where people aren't having kids.
But I'm with you though. They should all be forced to relocate to a deserted island made only for child molesters. How can we get it done?

"Florida Housing Sex Offenders Under Bridge"
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/04/05/bridge.sex.offenders/index.html

[Anonymous]

Just for everyone's information, it is a crime in and of itself to take information about someone on the sex offender registry and then to use that information to threaten or harass or physically harm them. Granted it is a misdemeanor, but really don't take the chance. So don't posse up with the neighbors and a bunch of pitchforks and torches and go "express your concerns." Bad idea. That kind of "meeting" rarely goes well. And for the numbnuts who, I'm sure, jokingly posted about renting your house to college kids with baseball bats...also a bad idea on so many levels. Also, for the person who mentioned the offender's parole officer. If, as the OP says, he served a jail sentence sometime last year, he is not eligible for parole as parole in Virginia was abolished in 1995. He is likely on probation which is a whole different kettle of fish than parole. Moreover, he is likely on sex offender probation which is far more restricted than normal supervised probation. Additionally, Virginia now has civil commitment for recidivist and violent offenders, meaning that the Attorney General's Office has the ability to instigate a civil proceeding to keep an offender locked up in a civil commitment AFTER an offender is finished serving their sentence. So, frankly, if the guy is living next door to you, he is more scared of you and your kids than you are of him. Give him a wide berth. You have no obligation to disclose his presence to potential buyers. If anyone in this day and age is stupid enough not to check the sex offender registry before moving into any neighborhood, that is on them.

[Anonymous]

Don't let the kids go over there to play. Other than that, tell your children that the man next door is not to be talked to, he has a been in jail for hurting a child, and that you don't want anything to happen to them. You don't have to move, just be aware.

One thing I tell my children is that children and grown-ups should not have secrets. That those who try to get the children to do what they want, by using threats, never follow though. Anyone that tells them they have to do something, otherwise the the person will hurt the parents/siblings/pets really never will, and that they are trying to scare them into doing what the person wants the kids to do. It is actually more important that they tell in this situation, because the person may have hurt other children using the same tactic.
In addition they know that no one is to be touching their privacy parts, even the doctor if mom or dad aren't in the room.

These aren't things that are drilled into the kids. We talk about it every now and then, but we don't want to make it sound too dire, and scare them ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just for everyone's information, it is a crime in and of itself to take information about someone on the sex offender registry and then to use that information to threaten or harass or physically harm them. Granted it is a misdemeanor, but really don't take the chance. So don't posse up with the neighbors and a bunch of pitchforks and torches and go "express your concerns." Bad idea. That kind of "meeting" rarely goes well. And for the numbnuts who, I'm sure, jokingly posted about renting your house to college kids with baseball bats...also a bad idea on so many levels. Also, for the person who mentioned the offender's parole officer. If, as the OP says, he served a jail sentence sometime last year, he is not eligible for parole as parole in Virginia was abolished in 1995. He is likely on probation which is a whole different kettle of fish than parole. Moreover, he is likely on sex offender probation which is far more restricted than normal supervised probation. Additionally, Virginia now has civil commitment for recidivist and violent offenders, meaning that the Attorney General's Office has the ability to instigate a civil proceeding to keep an offender locked up in a civil commitment AFTER an offender is finished serving their sentence. So, frankly, if the guy is living next door to you, he is more scared of you and your kids than you are of him. Give him a wide berth. You have no obligation to disclose his presence to potential buyers. If anyone in this day and age is stupid enough not to check the sex offender registry before moving into any neighborhood, that is on them.

You make a lot of sense. And it's great to read advice that doesn't come from a place of fear. So much fear mongering on this board. And why is everyone's solution always to move? There are no guarantees anywhere.