Are you friends with military families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here again. This thread makes me very concerned. First there is nothing wrong with being enlisted. My father was a career Navy Chief who retired at 37 and had a whole other civilian career and we all had great memories of living overseas and in cool places like San Diego. I was enlisted before college. Then got out and went to college. Then joined again as an officer. Then went to law school at night on my own nickel with only some tuition assistance. Now I'm counsel at a national law form with some great stories to tell my colleagues.

So I think people can make of it whatever they want. The military certainly gave me a world view and perspective that my more sheltered colleagues don't have.

You were very fortunate to have the opportunities you did to get in, get out to get your education and become an officer. Not everyone can afford to do that or has the opportunities so by the time they do get their degree as an enlisted, they are too old to become officers or the military finds a way to block them for wha ever reason. My husband would have loved to do what you had done but it wasn't a luxury he had. He didn't get his degree till the same month he retired (at 38) and it took him many years to do that. Fortunately, he did well after that. Many of his enlisted friends who could not due to family or other obligations could not and they are struggling with basic jobs now as their enlisted skills do not translate to the civilian world (my husband's would not have). Because the GI bill was not available when my husband went in, he did not have as much assistance as most do finacially. And, my husband did get to go to all the cool places you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. they talk way too much about things I don't care about. And I either hate the way they discipline their kids or hate their kids behavior.

Another poster who obviously has never met any military families.

It is unbecoming to comment rudely using stereotypes on a subject you clearly know nothing about.

(Watching movies and TV shows does not count as "experience".)

They may not know. Most people don't realize we are retired military. They are clueless even when I talk about going to the military base for activities or medical appointments or to shop. We don't hide it but its not an every day conversation either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I've found every military person I've met insufferable and we don't share the same values.

[b]

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is so tough on them but also on our kids. Initially we did make friends with many in our neighborhood which is very heavily military. It was mainly driven location (military rentals up and down our street) and by our kids when they were younger. However, even they got what we call "military fatigue" and so sad/depressed when their friends had to move every 2 - 3 years. They do know that often friends come back to our neighborhood 2-4 years later so that helps a bit but by then they are all in high school and barely see each other since the school is huge.

On the flip side, some of them have huge insular families and keep to themselves or the other military families or their religious group (esp Catholics we've noticed), many of whom they know from other postings (about 20% I say where we live). DH was an Army brat and Catholic and they had tons of kids in their family which meant he didn't really have to make friends outside the family - plus back then they often moved every year or less!! Unfortunately it was only after we married and had kids that I realized he has trouble making friends and this is hurting him and me.

After some of the comments on this thread, can you blame them for seeking out other military families to be friends with?? And if it's a Catholic military family, they're going to be judged by some of you guys for both job AND religion. Give them a break, they're just trying to live their lives, do their jobs, and provide for their families the best they can.

[Anonymous]

As a military spouse, I will say that it's easier to make friends with other military families because they are also new to the area, probably don't have family nearby, and are also looking for friends, play dates for kids, etc..

People who are already established somewhere already have friends, obligations to schools, churches, organizations, whatever, many of them have extended family, they already have things on their calendars. By the time we get close enough to be "real" friends, we're about to move again.

My "best" friend in our new city (that's in quotes b/c we're still not that close) is not military, but she and her family moved here just about the same time we did, so they were in the same "looking for our place" in town boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people in DC don't want to compete with military and veterans for jobs, especially here. Veterans and disabled veterans get status preference for Fed positions. I have seen animosity, especially from women here toward military and veterans in the office.

Vet Pref is an issue for Fed hiring. I have seen a lot of great candidates get rejected b/c of a qualifying vet. Personality goes a LONG way in the functioning of an office, and it's unfortunate to see people passed over.