Are you friends with military families?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Officer families - yes, enlisted families - no.

My dad is a retired three star General. My DH left the Army as a full Colonel to join the Feds. I am so thankful my dad raised us not to view our enlisted and NCO service members as "less than". I spent most of my adult life taking care of our youngest military families. Our young enlisted troops are the ones doing the really hard work. They are tomorrow's leaders. Our NCOs are leaders who spend their days training and developing enlisted AND young officers. If you have chosen to eliminate them as possible friends, I assure you - You are the one missing out.

If your dad was a General, you were not hanging out, outside school with enlisted families.

first statement is true, second statement is not.

The enlisted do all the crap work. They aren't tomorrow's leaders because they are not encouraged or able to become officers as many don't go in with college degrees. Officers go on and on about getting degrees but most went directly through college and then into the military whereas enlisted only have a high school diploma.

There are many many enlisted commissioning programs. You don't know what you're talking about. Plus, there are a surprising number of enlisted personnel with college degrees. This is the Vietnam era service any more.

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I meant this is NOT the Vietnam era service. And soldiers don't sit around and smoke pot all day either like in the Vietnam era movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Officer families - yes, enlisted families - no.

Terrible

[Anonymous]

PP here again. This thread makes me very concerned. First there is nothing wrong with being enlisted. My father was a career Navy Chief who retired at 37 and had a whole other civilian career and we all had great memories of living overseas and in cool places like San Diego. I was enlisted before college. Then got out and went to college. Then joined again as an officer. Then went to law school at night on my own nickel with only some tuition assistance. Now I'm counsel at a national law form with some great stories to tell my colleagues.

So I think people can make of it whatever they want. The military certainly gave me a world view and perspective that my more sheltered colleagues don't have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N Arlington and we have a few military families in the smaller original rental houses. Honestly, I have never run into them since my kids are younger, but I wouldn't actively not try to be friends with them. If our kids were friends, why not? Personally, I'm not a fan of the military/police mentality so I probably wouldn't want to socialize with them though.

You're one of those Mommy bloggers who think that world peace is possible, and there would be no war and no crime in the inner cities without that military/police mentality?

[Anonymous]

Some people in DC don't want to compete with military and veterans for jobs, especially here. Veterans and disabled veterans get status preference for Fed positions. I have seen animosity, especially from women here toward military and veterans in the office.

[Anonymous]

Of course! I live in NOVA, and there are tons of military and retired military families. I meet most of them at school, the families are typically very involved with school events, pta- very willing to be involved in the community and help out. I have no idea if they are enlisted or officers, that sort of thing has never come up in conversation. Some of the comments on this thread are just flat out bizarre.

[Anonymous]

no idea if they are enlisted or officers,

You don't know them, then. You know very little about their lives. You don't know about their jobs. You aren't friends. It's nice that everyone gets along, I would expect that from reasonable people.

[Anonymous]

No. they talk way too much about things I don't care about. And I either hate the way they discipline their kids or hate their kids behavior.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I tried but it didn't work because their children were aggresive and used violence when my child interacted with them. Their parents didn't bother to stop them.

All children of military are issued mini-Glocks at birth and are trained killing machines. None of us are liberal, intellectual, or peace-loving people, as none of our parents joined for the educational and travel opportunities open to military.

?! This entire thread is a little bizarre. The generalizations are so funny.

That was the point. I thought it was funny.

I got that. It's like people think those in the military are from outer space or something. People in the military - both officer and enlisted - come from all walks of life.

I'm the poster who tried to be friends with a military family. I just posted about my experience with 1 family in the neighborhood, not generalizing here.

[Anonymous]

It is so tough on them but also on our kids. Initially we did make friends with many in our neighborhood which is very heavily military. It was mainly driven location (military rentals up and down our street) and by our kids when they were younger. However, even they got what we call "military fatigue" and so sad/depressed when their friends had to move every 2 - 3 years. They do know that often friends come back to our neighborhood 2-4 years later so that helps a bit but by then they are all in high school and barely see each other since the school is huge.

On the flip side, some of them have huge insular families and keep to themselves or the other military families or their religious group (esp Catholics we've noticed), many of whom they know from other postings (about 20% I say where we live). DH was an Army brat and Catholic and they had tons of kids in their family which meant he didn't really have to make friends outside the family - plus back then they often moved every year or less!! Unfortunately it was only after we married and had kids that I realized he has trouble making friends and this is hurting him and me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. they talk way too much about things I don't care about. And I either hate the way they discipline their kids or hate their kids behavior.

Another poster who obviously has never met any military families.

It is unbecoming to comment rudely using stereotypes on a subject you clearly know nothing about.

(Watching movies and TV shows does not count as "experience".)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is such an odd set of reactions!

I'm a military spouse, also of a military physician (who was prior service before med school, too). We're both lefty academics who had a gender-based Bernie/Hillary split in the praries.

Outside of military events where people wear uniforms, we just go as ourselves to events and social occasions. How would we even know someone else's rank out of uniform? There are tens of thousands of soldiers based here; we don't know most of them.

I find it hard to make friends period. I'm not a social butterfly type person. And when I know a move is a year or less away, I tend to give up. I don't blame other people for not wanting to invest a ton of time in us when they have preexisting local friends and family. I also anticipate my kids' heartache when we move, and it's hard to not try to keep them from getting too attached, too.

If you've been in long enough, you know. My husband usually knows. If I see a doc, he'll ask me (I have no clue the ranks and he usually can guess right).

Then you're better than eith of us. DH has been in since '99, and we've been married for 10 years. I still can't tell military from other people with short hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't associate with the one active duty family in the neighborhood not because they're military but because they are puts their conservative Christian agenda on everyone, he's a misogynist and they aren't nice people.

You mean just like you push your liberal atheist view on everyone. The tables are turning sweety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N Arlington and we have a few military families in the smaller original rental houses. Honestly, I have never run into them since my kids are younger, but I wouldn't actively not try to be friends with them. If our kids were friends, why not? Personally, I'm not a fan of the military/police mentality so I probably wouldn't want to socialize with them though.

You're one of those Mommy bloggers who think that world peace is possible, and there would be no war and no crime in the inner cities without that military/police mentality?

+1. I think if PP was being robbed or assaulted, they'd become a big fan of the "military/police mentality" real fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I've found every military person I've met insufferable and we don't share the same values.

Yeah, they love our country and you think we're evil.