Your "number": Did you lie to your spouse/SO about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in the 40s, not counting sex I had with "pros". DW had a very high number, too, and won't even hazard a guess. I like the fact that DW was experienced and it's worked out great for us, except for the fact that our sex life virtually ground to a halt after DS was born. DS is 9 and still insists on sleeping in our bed between us. Guess he doesn't want any siblings.

Is sex sorta like shaking hands for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in the 40s, not counting sex I had with "pros". DW had a very high number, too, and won't even hazard a guess. I like the fact that DW was experienced and it's worked out great for us, except for the fact that our sex life virtually ground to a halt after DS was born. DS is 9 and still insists on sleeping in our bed between us. Guess he doesn't want any siblings.

So you had sex with prostitutes but don't count that in your number? Why not?

For one thing, as fun as the experience was at the time, it was usually not memorable (although sometimes it was), so I just don't remember. Secondly, sex with pros just does' mean anything. It doesn't indicate that I was attractive to anyone. Of course, that's not always the case. A few times I ended up hitting it off with a pro and we ended up dating, but that was rare.

Curious logic. Are you a lawyer?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in the 40s, not counting sex I had with "pros". DW had a very high number, too, and won't even hazard a guess. I like the fact that DW was experienced and it's worked out great for us, except for the fact that our sex life virtually ground to a halt after DS was born. DS is 9 and still insists on sleeping in our bed between us. Guess he doesn't want any siblings.

So you had sex with prostitutes but don't count that in your number? Why not?

For one thing, as fun as the experience was at the time, it was usually not memorable (although sometimes it was), so I just don't remember. Secondly, sex with pros just does' mean anything. It doesn't indicate that I was attractive to anyone. Of course, that's not always the case. A few times I ended up hitting it off with a pro and we ended up dating, but that was rare.

Curious logic. Are you a lawyer?

Yes.

Is your wife aware that you have such an extensive history of hiring prostitutes that you can't actually remember how many women you've slept with?

If someone asked you how many women you'd slept with and you wanted to be honest, what would you say?

Would you feel that it was similarly meaningless if your wife disclosed to you that she'd had sex with some number of male prostitutes, but that because it wasn't memorable, she can't remember? What if your wife disclosed to you that she had been a prostitute herself?

Still no big deal?

[Anonymous]

He was a virgin so his was obvious. Not sure if I told him mine, which wasn't that high.

[Anonymous]

We both recounted our experiences.

But from my starting point, the weird logic here would first raise my number (oral sex, either giving and receiving) and then reduce it because I've only been "in love" with two other men.

So, with that in mind, I overestimated my number, and the real number is three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere in the 40s, not counting sex I had with "pros". DW had a very high number, too, and won't even hazard a guess. I like the fact that DW was experienced and it's worked out great for us, except for the fact that our sex life virtually ground to a halt after DS was born. DS is 9 and still insists on sleeping in our bed between us. Guess he doesn't want any siblings.

So you had sex with prostitutes but don't count that in your number? Why not?

For one thing, as fun as the experience was at the time, it was usually not memorable (although sometimes it was), so I just don't remember. Secondly, sex with pros just does' mean anything. It doesn't indicate that I was attractive to anyone. Of course, that's not always the case. A few times I ended up hitting it off with a pro and we ended up dating, but that was rare.

Curious logic. Are you a lawyer?

Yes.

Is your wife aware that you have such an extensive history of hiring prostitutes that you can't actually remember how many women you've slept with?

If someone asked you how many women you'd slept with and you wanted to be honest, what would you say?

Would you feel that it was similarly meaningless if your wife disclosed to you that she'd had sex with some number of male prostitutes, but that because it wasn't memorable, she can't remember? What if your wife disclosed to you that she had been a prostitute herself?

Still no big deal?

Still no big deal. That's how DW and I met.

[Anonymous]

My DH doesn't want to know, he would absolutely care and wants to think that "he's the only one" We both know he's not, neither am I his only one. It's one of those better off not knowing kinds of question in our relationship. However, if he did ask and was insistent upon an answer, knowing what I know about him, I would absolutely without a doubt lie.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a stupid conversation that can cause issues (jealousy, etc.) so I prefer not to have it. If pressed, I definitely subtract some from the total. I have been single for my entire life and I'm in my 40's, so even if you just have a new partner every year or two, it adds up.

I wouldn't dream of asking a guy his number, or caring what it was. I'd be equally freaked out if he said "2" or "200" and I imagine most guys my age are somewhere in the middle.